<p>My wife is bent upon moving with my D to where ever she matriculate. Since presently she is inclining towards MIT there is good chance that she will matriculate there. I was previously interested in moving too; since the economy has nose dived so now I'm bit nervous with the move.
Anyone in the same boat or have gone thru this before?</p>
<p>I’m thinking for D2. Virginia has good state schools and my H and I can transfer to similar position in Virginia. Can you do an internal transfer? Does your company have a location in the East Coast?</p>
<p>No, it does not make sense, for so many reasons I can’t even begin to start listing them all. If, I am reading this correctly on its face that the ONLY reason you would relocate would be to be near where your D is going to go to college?</p>
<p>I would not recommend relocating. What if your D hates it? Futher, Massachusetts is not a cheap state to live in.</p>
<p>I would not. I want my kids to “go away” to college.</p>
<p>What do you feel? On the surface, what screams out of this scenario is “Let HER GO”. You and wife are entering into the next phase of your lives – help her to accept that. It’ll allow time to refresh yourselves, to spend with other friends and to pour into new pursuits. If this is particularly hard, perhaps have her speak w/a clergyperson or trusted family advisor?</p>
<p>My kids would go into the witness protection program and get new identities if we suggested this.</p>
<p>Lol, hmom! I always thought so too but actually had to talk my D into visiting a school in PA cuz she didn’t want be “so far away”…it’s only 3 hours! Now it’s her first choice.</p>
<p>Your D will probably move somewhere else after college graduation. Young people in the early years of their career may relocate frequently in order to pursue different job or educational opportunities…or to follow a relocating significant other. Is your wife bent upon following your D during subsequent moves? In that case, no, you shouldn’t relocate. Not only is it going to suffocate your D, the frequent moves are going to be expensive. </p>
<p>If you and your wife are only interested in moving to be near your D during her undergrad years, consider what will happen at the end of those four years. If you’d be happy staying in Boston for years to come, that’s one thing. If you’re going to move on after that time, well, you’re going to be paying for two relocations in four years. The amount of money that will cost you could pay for quite a few round trip plane tickets between Boston and home.</p>
<p>My H and I were planning to move to a warmer climate once DD finished HS and she wants to be somewhere warmer as well so the discussion has been going on in our house for quite some time. I never expected to live in the same city as her just maybe in the same state. The other day, DH mentioned that we might move to the city she is most likely to end up in and she glared at him. So we know we’re moving but no idea yet as to where or when (was going to be soon but may get delayed due to health care insurance issues).</p>
<p>We are 2.5 hours away from DS and I think it’s almost perfect.</p>
<p>why is your wife “bent” on moving w/ your D?</p>
<p>Hmom5, your reply is one of the best lines ever on CC!</p>
<p>And for the OP, you are simply trying to put off the inevitable growing up and parting of ways with your child. She is never going to be your baby again, no matter how much trouble you and your wife go to. </p>
<p>Your daughter needs to be able to focus on herself and her personal development, at an age where this is of crucial importance and interest to her. Why would you move to Boston - so you can interfere with her growth, make demands on her time and be sure she feels the maximum guilt for growing up?</p>
<p>Let her go. You will still love the person she becomes.</p>
<p>I am guessing that OP is probably not American-born and daughter is an only child. While I would not do this, and most parents cannot simply pick up and move so easily, I think the responses above reflect a uniquely American point of view.</p>
<p>Moving away for college may be the norm here, but it is not part of the college experience in most parts of the world. Most college students in other countries live at home and they still manage to grow up just fine and become independent adults without living in a dorm in a city far away. However, since the daughter has grown up in the U.S., she may expect to move away for college like her classmates. How does your daughter feel about this?</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I have seem some parents relocate to areas close to where their kids are attending graduate school or where their kids ended up living after college and there was no problem. There is a lot to be said for having family nearby, though it makes more sense to move when your child is in a more permanent location.</p>
<p>My S is soon to graduate college. Likely he will relocate to another state. It has never even crossed my mind that wife and I might move from our home to be nearer son’s first home out of college. I’d prefer he choose to stay closer, but follow him? No. My son wants to be an independent adult.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine this being a good idea.</p>
<p>There are times when my D wishes we were closer (we are in CA; she is at UMich), but she loves to come “home” to visit. She insists we can never move from So CA or sell the house.</p>
<p>My husband just told me about a couple he knows who not only moved to the place their daughter did her undergrad years, but are moving again to where she will attend grad school. The only way I would move is after retiring to be near my kids…though I doubt they will be living close to each other.
I am only a flight away</p>
<p>No, I can’t think of any reason to follow a kid to college. Not only does that seem overly protective to me, it also may leave you isolated if your D decides to move to a completely different part of the country for grad school, job, etc.</p>
<p>I have a couple of friends whose kids moved abroad – permanently – after college graduation.</p>
<p>You need to decide where to live based on your own lives and desires, which, depending on your age, may include finding a location where you’d be happy to retire – whether or not your D is nearby.</p>
<p>I had a moment, when my d was going to go to school several hours from home, when I thought of moving. The thought only lasted a second, though, and good thing, because she lasted one semester at that school! </p>
<p>What happens if she doesn’t like MIT? What happens if you don’t like living in the Boston area? What happens when she goes to grad school, or goes off to live somewhere else when she graduates? Also, as someone else said, Boston area is extremely expensive to live in. And what about your work? </p>
<p>I can see MAYBE someday relocating to wherever my daughter settles permanently, but even that is dicey, because what’s permanent these days? Not much!</p>
<p>I agree that it might make sense in later years to move near your kids and grandkids.</p>
<p>The OP’s daughter, I assume, will be going to an American, ivy like college. Even if she supports the parent’s wish to move nearby now, I would guess that if she fully assimilates at college she will be caught in the bind of loving her parents and not wanting to insult them by not spending a lot of time with them and having the normal social life of most of her classmates.</p>