My D is a Bates grad. Bates is an excellent college, especially given what you intend to study. However, if it’s going to cause your family serious financial hardship, I think you need to choose UDel.
Did I read your family will need $17,000 annually in loans? That’s substantial, but you say your family’s finances have improved. Will that financial situation be stable or improve going forward? What about siblings? Are your parents in favor of Bates?
I posted this about my D’s experience at Bates. In her case, I believe Bates’ name was helpful. But that could be due to her major. How Bates prepared my student for her future
Bates is not preppy. It’s not totally crunchy granola either. It’s friendly and non-competitive with a big mix of students. I think you could enjoy both experiences, but I also think it’s fair to say that the academic experience will be better at Bates. The lack of Greek life doesn’t mean lack of parties, etc…
One of D’s best friends went to UDel and had a good experience. She wanted the bigger feel with lots of people, and the classroom experience wasn’t super important to her, though she definitely enjoyed some of her classes.
Two good choices, but the sensible suggestion in this case seems to be “follow the money.”