Warning: long post ahead.
It’s decision time and so I’m taking this opportunity to outline a lot of choices and decision-making that happened. It seems a number of people find this thread helpful and hopefully this information is helpful too.
I’m sure I’ll be around to chat more on this but the big stuff is done for now.
He’s going to Roanoke. 
Or as we say around here, he’s starting at Roanoke. All along we’ve talked about him just finding the right place to start. No one knows where the path goes from there but you have to start somewhere. He found his somewhere.
I couldn’t be more excited about this or more proud of him throughout this whole process. He’s one big example of the “How it started; How it’s going” meme but in reverse as his picture has improved.
A year ago his Executive Function coach started a conversation with him about what he wanted to do with his life and then how college might fit into that in order to try to reach him–to try to get him to think beyond high school. Because he was drowning in high school. He was trapped by his own history. Saying out loud that he wanted to teach and accepting that meant college changed him. He had given up on saying goals out loud because he was tired of failing. By the end of junior year he had a 2.5 GPA in non-honors classes, which was an upswing from the previous year, and low expectations.
So we started to explore. He’s one of the kids the pandemic’s impact on school helped. He had control over his time and no one watching, always checking in. For him, that was a gift.
We looked high and low, big and small, near and far. We only looked at places that looked possible even while he knew nothing was probable for him. He figured out a lot about himself through the process. What’s okay with him, what isn’t. How to talk about it. And he kept his eyes on the prize–what could come beyond high school.
He never sat for an SAT (5 cancelled attempts), I never saw his essay (he only showed his coach), but he started to do the work at school. Really do the work. And success begets success. Through the first half of senior year he has a 3.5 GPA and his overall GPA has gone up to a 2.7. That’s a B-freaking-minus! Considering the two D+ grades he ended sophomore year with in English and Geometry, you can begin to imagine the pride he feels in himself.
Here’s what happened with colleges:
7 acceptances–in order of net cost low to high
Wichita State
Hartwick with $34K per year in merit
LaSalle with $12K per yer in merit
Keene State with $4K per year in merit
Roanoke with $19K per year in merit (after requesting they shift FA to merit)
Western New England with $15K per year in merit
Xavier with $16K per year in merit
1 deferral to RD
College of Charleston–still outstanding
1 denial
Salve Regina
Choices!! The glory of choices. Do you know how long it’s been since he got to choose something related to school rather than being presented with a plan? So, so long.
So how did he make the choice?
Wichita State–he really liked everything he saw but realized in his heart of hearts he didn’t want to be that far away at a school that big
Hartwick–he started out positive on this school but every further interaction, combined with his growing confidence, said to him that this could feel like high school 2.0 and he doesn’t need that anymore
LaSalle–he was drawn to the number of schools to potentially student teach at near campus but as soon as Roanoke gave him similar information, he eliminated LaSalle
Keene State–5 or 6 of his friends have been admitted (not sure any are going yet) and if he decided he needed to know people from home at college, this would be the school for him; and then he decided he didn’t need that, that instead he wanted a chance to start over
Western New England–this was choice number 2 and the one he holds out as, if he ever needs to transfer, he’ll look there; not getting direct admit into education was a downside here as “I don’t want to wait a year to find out I don’t want to teach, then what do I do?”
Xavier–if there was no Roanoke this would be in competition with WNE for his “away” option and it’s a rival to his brother’s university so tempting bragging rights during Big East basketball. But there is a Roanoke so…
College of Charleston–doesn’t feel the need to wait for an answer because he’s in love now
So he chose Roanoke. For the location and the people and the approach to required classes and the challenge and the support and the campus and the options for teaching 5 different types of high school science and maybe learning German and living on campus all 4 years and the “rightness” of it all for him.
For the past week he’s said “I can’t picture myself anywhere else but I’m not ready to commit yet.” Why? He didn’t really know. Afraid that something would pop up that made him think another choice was better. Afraid none of his friends had committed yet and so maybe he was moving too fast. Just nervous. It’s a big _____ deal. So we waited. And last night he told us about the find your roommate app he’d been on all weekend and while he’d probably go random (we feel pretty strongly about that in our house) it gave him a chance to see other kids who were going to go. Outside of admissions and tour guides and a sanitized environment. And he felt like he could find his people among them. He also told us that he’d tried the choice out at school last week with some faculty–telling them it was his first choice. His English teacher said she was a Richmond alum and had been to Roanoke several times and she thought it would be a great place for him. The Athletic Director said his best friend from high school went. And another smile from another teacher who asked if he knew about Mac&Bob’s yet. The place just off campus where we had lunch last weekend. A school staple. This is also safety and confidence. He was expecting, at best, a polite nod and smile. But he got encouragement.
So he decided it’s the right place for him to start. I couldn’t agree more. It won’t be easy. But the best things never are.