"Every year that I’ve been on the BS forum, there have been people who are very active in the months and weeks leading up to M10, and then — POOF — they disappear, never to report their results.
While I can understand that it might not feel very good to get bad news and then share that news, I challenge every applicant who has used the site in this application cycle to come back on M10 (or whenever your news trickles in) and accurately report their results. For 99% of you, your identity is anonymous to others…so who cares?
Why do I ask this? Because I think the self-selection that goes on post-M10 tends to skew the reporting of results…making it seem like a majority of applicants get into the schools to which they applied, no matter how selective. Which we know is not true for the body of applicants.
The other thing I want to reinforce to those who DO get good news on M10 is this: DON’T BE A JERK.
Don’t gloat, don’t get into comparative discussions (my school is better than yours), don’t talk about how you gamed the system and won (Jackson Hole ski vacations anyone?), etc. It’s just not good form, and I can almost guarantee you’ll get beat up a bit in threads if you choose to go this route."
I will go one step further. For those with multiple acceptances, feel free to be happy. But the time to post your thread of “Should I choose X vs. Y” is not this week. (And I will delete such posts). Spend a week to reflect. If possible go on revisits. Then post your question if still undecided. Additionally, I ask that you wait a week to post any “Who’s going to XYZ” or “Tell Me About XYX/What classes should I take/What dorms are best?” Those too, will be deleted.
Additionally, while some posts may seem really important to the poster, in reality, they are duplicative. Examples include “Will I get off the waitlist?” “Did anyone hear from XYZ?” “When wil acceptance packages come?” Such posts will be merged in with existing threads without notice or comment.
I believe that the Jackson Hole ski vacation reference is from many years ago from a poster who appeared to be gaming the financial aid system. A wealthy person was able to provide a nice vacation for their step daughter maybe (I forgot) while simultaneously soliciting full financial aid for them.
Thanks man. I got waitlisted and rejected to the schools I applied to. There’s nothing worse than someone bragging about getting in while you just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Those who did get in should express their good fortune in a more reserved fashion. I might post on the decisions thread now, as you really helped me feel better. Sometimes confronting the problem is the way to make someone feel better, and you did a great job of it.
Congrats for those who got in, my heart goes out for those disappointed. Remember that the school doesn’t make you, you make your school, another piece of wisdom often cited on this board.
It’s okay to feel hurt and disappointed if you were not selected to attend your top choices, but remember life gives you many opportunities. It’s all about making good and delivering on those that come your way. You can’t do anything about the ones that pass you up. Just look for your next opportunity and make good on it.
You are all unique and special in your own way and success is not based on what boarding school or college name appears on your diploma. Remember to celebrate the attempt. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
And another maxim: In the end, only kindness matters. Reach out to someone in pain or who needs your help and you will get back 10 fold.
Guys, it is OK to be not accepted into Andover, exeter etc. What is important that you put your best into those applications, I did not so I feel regretted. For those who got accepted I congratulate you for a nice job you did.For those who got rejected, don’t feel sorry because your way to the Ivy league schools is not over. Going to Andover does not mean you are accepted into Harvard. Put your best into your four years and get going.
Dude, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I was in the same situation last year, 0 acceptances, 7 rejects and 1 wait list, and I had to hear all my friends talk about their acceptances. If you need to talk, PM me. I’ll be more than happy to talk.
This seems like a good thread to remind those who are holding acceptances with financial aid attached that you can do your fellow CCer a good turn by declining any school you know you will not attend as soon as possible so that FA can be redistributed to another student who was accepted and wait-listed for FA.
The scary thing is even if you did put your best into it, you still run a high risk of not getting in anywhere. That’s where it really hurts and seems like a gigantic waste of time and energy. But BS and college admissions is not fair. Private Schools take who they want, not necessarily those who scored highest or wanted it the most. Try not to blame yourself. It will free you up to stay open minded and consider other opportunities that come your way.
I agree with @preppedparent, if you get into those boarding schools. Think it through whether or not you can be the top student in that school for college. If you can’t, do not go there.
Thank you @skieurope, @preppedparent. Our first child didn’t get in to BS. She became friends with some faculty kids from a local prep. school, or we wouldn’t have even thought to look into the whole idea, but once we did, we were all in. We were so sad for her. She moved on emotionally more quickly than we did and went to public school. She graduates this year, having had some truly great teachers, some truly terrible ones, but an experience she/we wouldn’t change. Hindsight is 20/20, and she’s 100% grateful she didn’t do prep. school.
Our second child thought he wanted public school, but applied to PEA at the urging of a school principal and us (why not check it out, the application process is good practice, right?). Been a perfect fit so far.
Our third child just got his M10 news (some happy; some disappointing). While this child is sad about not getting in his first choice, many of his kind, smart friends and their parents are despondent/crazed/frustrated about no acceptances. Been there. We get it. It’s painful. And yes, admissions can be unfair (by the time Child 3 applied we were in a far more favorable financial position; not that Child 3 (or Child 1 or 2 for that matter) didn’t have the high SSAT scores, the good grades, the ECs, etc. but surely it had some effect. Even then, even with all the stuff a kid “should have” to get in, there were some “No’s.” Wondering/analyzing/guessing Why?, Why “no?,” Why this school not that? can be maddening. So let’s stop.
Let’s remind our kids that where you go to high school (and in my husband and my case college) does not determine your worth or your life. My husband and I went to public schools (and not great ones). We got into college, albeit a small school only a scant few people outside our region have even heard of, but we loved it (and they gave us great financial aid). Then we got into a decent grad. school. We followed our passions. We worked hard. We got lucky. And we sometimes failed. Before we had “success” we didn’t get the job/promotion/business dream we wanted just like our kids don’t always get into the schools they want (or get the playing time, the award, the invite, etc.). Sometimes there’s something better waiting though we don’t see it. It’s been said before on CC and I’ll say it again, all that effort your kid and my kids put into their applications is not wasted if they get only rejections. It’s practice, the process and the rejection. Even if you’re a lurker on these forums (like I mostly am), I encourage you to take heart from the wise moderators/regular posters. Be sad or celebrate or both. Be kind to others. Find the way forward.
@Andoverguy@preppedparent (in relation to Andoverguy’s recent post) But wouldn’t you like to be challenged? Why go to a school where you can easily be top student when you aren’t growing? I’m sure universities and colleges can see that, even if you’re not the top of your class.
The 2 clauses of this sentence are contradictory. If you get in nowhere, then you did not “put your best into it.” If you had “put your best into it” you would have applied to a safety/cast a wider net. If by “anywhere,” you mean HADES for boarding schools or HYPMS for colleges, then yes, unless you are extremely hooked at the Malia Obama level, then there are no guarantees.
