<p>^ If he has trouble grasping the ADHD diagnosis, won’t consider a diet change, may not even be getting enough sleep, how will she swing him to nutritional supps?</p>
<p>My son was finally diagnosed with ADD during 7th grade. He and my husband didn’t think he had any problems until he hit middle school. Grades were disastrous and I walked out of the first parent teacher’s conference crying. First I started with a psychologist who tried to work on his motivation. He is a smart boy that just has no interest in school. The psychologist is the one who told me to speak to the pediatrician. The pediatrician gave me some forms to be filled out by his teachers and myself. I discussed the results with both the pediatrician and psychologist. We decided on trying medication. My son was against it but decided to try it. His grades did improve a little but not as much as I would have liked because the medication still does not make him do his homework and studying. What got to me was that his English teacher thanked me for getting him the help he needed. She said that before the medication, she would have staring contests with him and he had no idea she was staring at him. She saw an immediate change in his attentiveness.</p>
<p>He takes his medication in the morning before school so no one in school has to even know about it. He even gave me a low dosage medication to give him after school if he needs help concentrating on his homework.</p>
<p>I had taken some books out at the library for him. One described what ADD is and how it affects people. Another book had biographies of famous people who have been diagnosed with ADD. I think these books helped him understand that there are a lot of people with this and it is nothing to be ashamed of.</p>
<p>My son was diagnosed around the middle of 10th grade. Like your son, he refused to accept the diagnosis, and did not want to take medication, comparing the use of meds in the classroom to steroids in athletics. While we did use the ‘glasses’ analogy (having glasses does improve performance, but it’s not unethical), he did not agree.</p>
<p>After a lot of nagging and nagging, and he did agree to try medication, but it had very bad side effects (lack of appetite, which really made him drag and feel awful for most of the day). After about 6 months, he just gave up. And I don’t blame him. </p>
<p>Let me say that if you do go the medication route, as some have pointed out, it might take awhile–and I mean many months–to figure out (1) the proper medication and (2) the proper dosage. We started at a very low dose, and when it seemed as though that had no effect after many weeks, decided to up the dosage, etc. At a higher dose, he did notice some effects, and some increased ability not to zone out so much and stay on track in the classroom, but then he also felt the side effects were too much. </p>
<p>So even if you go the medication route, it may take quite some time to see any improvement.</p>
<p>And while I am not one of those who believe that there’s no such thing as ADD–I had always expected that something was there with my son–I also think that his mild ADD was made significantly worse by the issues that any adolescent goes through. If he didn’t have his ADD, I’m sure his sophomore year would have been better. But I also think that, even with his ADD, if he wasn’t a crazy hormonal teenager, his sophomore year also would have been better. So his performance issues weren’t simply a problem of the ADD.</p>
<p>It’s hard to get such a diagnosis in mid adolescence and sort out all the issues. I was always trying to figure out how much of his performance issues are ADD related and how much are related to just adolescence.</p>
<p>I don’t know what else to say, other than it’s hard to be a parent in this case. You can’t force the meds, but you also want him to be able to perform at his best.</p>
<p>“Someone asked is he is happy with his performance. I would say no, he is not satisfied, but he dosen’t really think it is a “problem” just the way he is. He certianly doesen’t like that he is always forgetting something, and always getting in trouble. And he dosen’t enjoy his Mom always reminding and nagging him about something! On the other hand, he is certianly not thinking there is something wrong with me, I need some sort of assistance.”</p>
<p>That was me who asked. If he doesn’t like the nagging and forgetting then this may be the way to approach it. He may be interested in talking with someone who will not “diagnose” but will help him work towards a happier smoother more successful life. This could be a coach or a sensitive therapist. The nice thing about a coach is s/he takes the parents out of the nagging role and puts the kid in the driver seat of figuring out what the problems are and how to address them. Coaching seems to succeed because the teens are envisioning what they want in life, and determining how to get it (with guidance and resources) rather than being told what to do and how to do it which leads to resistance.</p>
<p>A parent support group could be useful if you can find one in your area.</p>
<p>Coaches (last time I looked) are usually absolutely not any family member or friend, so the kid has a clean slate, going in, and can develop an unfettered relationship. Also, remember, it’s not just that med dosages may need to be revised over time or may take some time to show effects. Some are the wrong meds for his specific needs- and you can’tknow this until it’s tried. It’s not unusual to switch. This is where a good psychiatrist who really knows teens is a wise partner. Not just someone who sees teens as part of a larger practice.</p>
<p>So many kids diagnosed incorrectly with ADHD and other disorders. <em>sigh</em> Makes me sad. It’s not because the doctors are bad doctors. They just don’t understand how other biological problems can look like these disorders.</p>
<p>Put meds over it, and it’s just a band-aid for the real issue. </p>
<p>From what the OP has described, and everything I’ve experienced over the last 9 years with my S, I’m not sure her S really has true ADHD, but then again, I’m not a doctor.</p>
<p>The original post asked if there was something the OP’s son could read. I think this article by a college student might be something he could identify with:</p>
<p>[Attention</a> ‘disorders’ might be product of evolution - Opinion - The Daily Orange](<a href=“http://www.dailyorange.com/2.8654/attention-disorders-might-be-product-of-evolution-1.1233659]Attention”>http://www.dailyorange.com/2.8654/attention-disorders-might-be-product-of-evolution-1.1233659)</p>
<p>My D was diagnosed with ADHD in middle school (she is now a rising junior). For her, meds made a tremendous difference. However, in addition to meds she meets with a tutor once a week–not for subject tutoring, but for organizational skills work. They go over long- and short-term assignments, do some of it right there, set up schedules so she knows how to proceed, etc. She also works with an LCSW twice a month to work on social/emotional issues. (ADHD, properly diagnosed, affects more than just their academic skills. I hope your psychologist made this clear.) Finally, we did get a 504 for her–to be seated in a non-distracting part of the classroom, which for her means away from certain children who would distract her. (For others it may mean away from a window, in the front row, etc). Finally–and this was huge for us–they gave her a “free pass” to leave the classroom when she felt she needed to–to get away from an emotional/upsetting situation, to visit the nurse or the bathroom when she needed a break, etc. She doesn’t abuse the privilege. Just knowing she can leave if she needs to makes her feel more comfortable. Finally, I am in regular contact with her teachers and regularly check the school’s on-line grading portal. If anything appears to be missing, I email the teacher immediately. (In many cases the teacher just hasn’t put the grade in the system.) I also send many emails just to check in (“Is everyone OK? Anything I need to know? Is she up-to-date on assignments, prepared for tests, etc”). Some teachers are more cooperative than others. Finally, develop a good relationship with the GC. If you don’t like him/her, ask to switch. I love my D’s GC and she has gone the extra mile to help me, get to know my daughter, intervene where necessary, etc.</p>
<p>None of these are quick fixes. You need to be diligent, don’t give up, and get through the setbacks. Best of luck.</p>
<p>Personally, I think it’s fine if he feels he could do without the medicine. If he learns how to cope and adjust now, he’ll be better adjusted for the future. My boyfriend tried 15 different meds growing up and the side effects aren’t worth it. He also has ADD and is just fine now except for the occasional zoning out.</p>
<p>I haven’t read through this whole thread, but as the parent of a child diagnosed with ADHD in HS (under different circumstances though) this is what comes to mind.</p>
<p>1-Why is he refusing the meds? If they make him feel bad maybe he should try a different one. If he’s embarassed about taking them during the school day he could take it at home and no one has to know. When my son first started an adderall his comment was that instead of catching himself zoning out in class he caught himself paying attention. That was really exciting to him. We had him try the medication at home first before going to school medicated. That may have reassured him about how it would make him feel. Fortunately he had no negative side effects. My best suggestion would be to try and listen to why he is rejecting the diagnosis and how he explains the difficulty he is having. Then you may be able to work with that. </p>
<p>2- My S has always had organizational difficulties. The incredible thing that I saw in him was that once he saw this disorganization as connected to a disorder he was willing to work on it in a way that he never would no matter how many times I tried to teach him or scolded him to clean up his room. That is not to say that one year later he is completely organized, just that he recognizes that this is something he needs to work on.</p>
<p>3-Two of the things that have been most helpful for my son in keeping his grades up have been making an effort to sit in the front of the classroom to avoid being distracted and having several other kids he could contact regarding assignments in each class. He was doing both of these things without ever discussing ADD with anyone. </p>
<p>Just looking at your words it seems that if you can convey to your son that the medication will not magically fix him but might facilitate his ability to “try harder” and that the medication alone without his effort to try hard won’t change anything he might be more willing to try it. From what you mentioned it seems he needs to see the medication as a tool and not as a cop out. You said you want him to try the medication to see if it makes him “feel better”. It might help if you can use another term besides “feel better”. Perhaps he should use it to see if it helps him to “pay attention” or something of that nature. There is nothing that says he has to take it every day or that he needs a full day’s dose to start out. He can take it one day and not the next and see if he notices a difference in his ability to focus in class. If he just takes a morning dose and not an 8 hour time released dose he can try and see if he feels different in class in the morning than in the afternoon. If he can grow to see that taking the medicine along with other steps he takes is what he does to help himself then he might be more inclined to work with his diagnoses than ignor or reject it.</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>One of the better descriptions of ADHD-I is that your brain is going 100 mph in a 50 mph zone and medication will act like a brake so you can take in the scenery. Maybe if you use this metaphor with your son, he might see how it can help him. </p>
<p>Also agree to get a 504 plan, even if he doesn’t need additional time, I feel it puts the teachers and school on notice that he is covered by ADA and they are obliged to offer him accomodations. Some have already been noted, such as preferential scheduling. Others include seating or having the teacher confirm the student has written down the assignment.</p>
<p>I have two kids with adhd. one needed medication, one did not and never has used it. daughter in college has inattentive add and uses vyvanse as needed these days, started medication and a 504 plan in middle school, and it helped immeasurably both academically and socially. She still has accommodations in college, (please no flaming) which she only uses when she needs them ie. extra time on tests. Alternately my son 15, diagnosed in kindergarten, has not ever needed medication, but he has known and accepted his “turbo charged brain” since he was little. He understands how his brain works differently, in some ways better than a non add brain, ie. highly creative, fast to grasp ideas, yet can miss instructions, be impulsive etc. He realizes that he needs additional skills and understanding to work around. He had a 504 in elementary school primarily for teachers to recognize and redirect behavior which worked, he no longer needs the 504. I think it may be helpful for your son to see the strengths of add, and not see it as a “disorder”. Read Hallowell’s books on adhd, he’s a brilliant psychiatrist with adhd and he has excellent recommendations for talking with kids and helping them understand what it means to have adhd and develop acceptance of their differences.</p>
<p>My daughter has ADD. She was diagnosed in the 4th grade after 3 years of struggling in school.</p>
<p>Fortunately, the first medication we tried was the correct one for her. It changed her life. (Concerta) As she aged, gained weight, and matured, the dosage changed.</p>
<p>She took herself off it now and then. I believe that she would start each year of high school on the medication, and then would stop taking it as she saw fit. Graduated with a 4.0. I know she started her freshman year of college on it, but then stopped. </p>
<p>She is now entering her Junior year at college, and says that she won’t be taking it. But has a wait and see attitude.</p>