1st SAT prep test essay. Could someone please grade my garbage?

<p>prompt: </p>

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive.
People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts
or feelings. They assume that honesty requires
one to express every inclination and impulse.
Adapted from J. David Velleman, “The Genesis of Shame”
Assignment:
Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you
develop your point of view on this issue. Support yo
ur position with reasoning and examples taken from
your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>

<p>Essay </p>

<p>Nowadays there is no such thing as privacy, but people should strive to become more in touch with themselves. With advances in the internet and it becoming much more accessible to an everyday person , it is much easier to spread information in a instant. In " A Farwell to Arms" Fredrick the main character 's girlfriend is uncomfortable with him sharing information about past relationships, though it is a recurring theme that she keeps on bringing up.</p>

<pre><code>With such things as Facebook , Twitter, and Instagram information on everyone's personal life is easily accessible in a matter a few clicks. This seems to make no harm as it is the same as making new friends, though putting information out on the web makes can be used against you. The most common would be the stealing of Identity where bank accounts could be accessed or even the theft of a social security number. Another threat would be predators close being able to plan and find where you spend the most time and impose a serious threat to someone who constantly depicts their schedule. Internet can be used in a much more educational way and expanding your horizons , but making yourself a target to a lot of hostile people is a bad idea.

Another reason to keep personal information to you is shown in "A Farwell to Arms" where a beautiful relationship is kept intact by not revealing unnecessary details to one and another. As the story progress, anytime the protagonist wife is upset it is usually because either the protagonist Fredrick bringing up sleazy past dates or inferring it. Even at the wife's death, she asks Fredrick to not fool around. Showing how disturbed she was. This would have been easily avoidable by keeping his mouth shut.

The NSA was founded to pursue those with criminals past and those with proof of criminal intent. Now it seems that it has abused Washington's power and is now the police of the internet. This part of the government is able to spy on any person it wishes to no matter if they have been founded of a crime, a clear violation of the founding fathers constitution. Though they seem to keep on doing , even as the world has been exposed to their corruption by past workers. To protect yourself from being incriminated on with no search warrant it is a good idea to encrypt your messages online and be wary their is some one watching you.

Privacy is a great thing, without it we would be exposed to the real monsters that we all are. Whether it be a relation ship, saving your self from being incriminated, or keeping your hard work money. It is important to keep classified information sealed tight.
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<p>Any input would be great!!!</p>