Thank you for your advice @carolinamom2boys. By the way smart kids aren’t totally immune to human weaknesses.
I would cross that bridge when I come to it. It’s mildly insulting to a kid who has been a “good” kid - works hard, studies hard, doesn’t get in any trouble - to worry about hypotheticals.
If and when a kid dropped out, you would deal with the situation as is. The kid who drops out because he has some other life plan (military, etc) is completely different from the kid who drops out due to drug addiction or the kid who drops out to play video games in the basement.
You are so worried about everything. And you have a bright, good kid!
Re #13
If renewal of the scholarship is necessary for affordability, be sure your kid knows that up front before matriculation.
I don’t think it is intrusive or odd for WorryHurry to ask this question and discuss it with her neighbors. If they were talking about their kids in college and how to make it successful, why not ask for suggestions to get/keep the gpa up?
I have one child that has outside pressure on her to keep the gpa up as several of the scholarships require certain gpa’s to renew the awards, so I don’t need to threaten anything. Like with Thumper’s kids, if my daughter doesn’t have the scholarships, she can’t attend the school. I made suggestions to help her meet the requirements. She’s not as talented in the humanities courses, so I suggested she not take the required ones during her first year. She did that, established her ‘base’ gpa, and then when she got a B it was okay.
I helped my other daughter make a plan where her class choice played a part in her gpa. She didn’t take the math courses as a freshman. She didn’t take science courses right off the bat. She’s now starting to take those courses and she’s a little more familiar with college and how to balance a social life, working, and classes, so it may make the difference between a B and a C.
What advice could you give a neighbor other than “kid needs to study more,” which is kind of a blinding flash of the obvious?
@twoinanddone
Thank you for support and for a productive post. It’s a good strategy to start with some easier courses to build a base. This is a great tip in general but specially helpful for ones who need to keep their merit scholarships. Freshman year is an year of adjustment and not everyone handles it perfectly. I’ll forward it to my son when he’ll start college.
I completely understand that smart kids aren’t immune to human weaknesses . I don’t feel the need to dwell on them or worry about them prematurely . I completely agree with @ucbalumnus and @thumper to state the expectation upfront . Once that is discussed and understood , no need to worry until the situation arises.
Getting back to the original post, it may depend on the context of the discussion OP had with the girl’s father. Was the conversation about the comparison about the educations of the OP’s son and neighbor’s daughter? Was the father hinting for advice? Or was he just stating what he was going to do? Is neighbor a friend or just a neighbor?
It’s not a friend but friendly neighbor of many years and he was just venting out. I don’t discuss my kid’s education with others in detail any more because I don’t want people to think I’m bragging or comparing him to their kids and have ill will towards my child.