20 and Without a Permit; Rude Coworker

<pre><code>Hey guys. So I have had my job as a college intern in Scotch Plains for 3 weeks now and this summer learning program for elementary school kids has 3 weeks left. I live in Bayonne but my mother works for Scotch Plains. During the school year I was having major difficulty finding a job for the summer in Bayonne, and after being unemployed and miserable last summer, I wanted to take whatever I could get. So my mother told me about a position that was open during the summer at a school in Scotch Plains that was near her workplace, since my mom would be working in the same area as well. So she told me to apply and that if I got the job, everyday she would drop me off, go to her workplace which is like 2 min away, and then we can go home together at the end of the day, which is what we have been doing for these past 3 weeks and everything has been perfect. Since my mom doesn't work on Fridays, she drops me off at work, hangs at the nearby library or goes back to Bayonne, then comes again to pick me up. Even though I feel bad bc I wish I had gotten my license earlier, my mother doesn't mind and it's only a 6 week program, so she said she'll do whatever it takes for me to just have a job and make some money lol.
Anyway, here is what I really want to rant--I mean, talk---about. Yesterday, the kids and us adults went on our weekly field trip to a park/beach in NJ. During lunchtime, I grabbed some food and went and sat down at a table where two of the college interns and one of the teachers, named Ms. I, were sitting and chatting. Ms. I is friends with my mother at work, and I've greeted her a couple of times and she seemed very nice and normal the previous times that I have met her. Recently, when I spent the day in my mother's classroom, she was very calm, well-mannered and had simple small talk with my mom. From that previous experience I felt comfortable enough to sit and eat at that table, since all the other ones were filled with the kids. That is why I was completely shocked with her behavior yesterday at the park.
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<p>As I sat down, she said hello to me and I returned the greeting. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she blurts out in front of my coworkers that mother picks me up and drops me off everyday, and Ms. I was basically just voicing her discontent about it (all of the other college interns have their own cars, so this made me really upset and embarrassed that she would say this out loud in from of them. I have been trying to keep this a secret). After that she let it go. She later continues to act like a drunken, middle-aged woman, and she kept referring to the students as bitches and heifers when she talked about the kids to us, and she would make fun of kids and call them fat. She also has a very brash sense of humor, and little 8,9,10 year-old kids don't understand her harsh jokes and they had these petrified looks on their faces when she was rudely handing out the food and being mean to them. I was so uncomfortable and completely shocked that this was the same woman who was supposedly "friends" with my mother. Then like 20 min later, she brings up my not having a license again! In front of my coworkers! She goes off about how my mother should not be picking me up and dropping me off, how I should take the the train and 2 buses (the train is in the middle of the ghetto btw) and how it's pathetic of me at my age (20) to not have license. Even when I said that I'm getting my permit this week, she completely yelled and dismissed me saying that I should have a license, not a permit. She was acting like a crazy drunk woman, and the whole time the other college interns just had uncomfortable looks on their faces the whole lunchtime, with a little bit of pity on their faces for me. I was humiliated. No offense, but just bc you're friendly with my mom does not mean you should feel comfortable enough with me to the point where you're up in my personal life and making fun of me for it. I'm hesitant to tell my mother bc I don't want to taint her image of Ms. I or her relationship with her, but the biggest thing my mom told me was to not let it be known at work that she picks me up and drops me off everyday, and now that's ruined bc of Ms. I's rude belligerent behavior yesterday. Should I tell my mother and have her be the judge or should I just let it go and not tell her. Thank you for your patience in reading this.</p>

<p>@Nerdygirl1994. First of you, you don’t seem to be nerdy at all, but rather well mannered and responsible. You seem to have a loving and caring Mom (lucky you) and a close relationship. I suggest that you turn to your mother and tell her all of this, she needs to know everything. Secondly, I understand how painful it is to be ridiculed, but try not to take this personally, as hard as it is to do this. Through this pain comes an inner strength. </p>

<p>Additionally, do not supply the names of towns and cities. It is better to keep this kind of information to yourself. </p>

<p>And of course, stay far away from this woman</p>

<p>Oh thank you so much Carla for the advice. That was very kind of you. Yeah, these aren’t the actual towns that I live and work in lol. I just used them as an example to show how far away my work and home are, but good looking out :)</p>

<p>What a rude woman! If it comes up again, do the cold-and-classy “It’s wonderful to be able to spend some time with my mother on our commute - we don’t get to see one another as much as we’d like now that I’m older and more independent. And of course it’s so much better for the environment to carpool!” Smile almost as if you mean it.</p>

<p>And if she goes on about your permit: “I’m so excited to be finally learning to drive! Do you have any tips for me?”</p>

<p>I would also consider sharing the way in which she treats the children…</p>

<p>Thanks for all the advice guys! I told my mom what happened last week. Ms. I hasn’t talked to me since, but yesterday in the parking lot when my mom came to pick me up, Ms. I went up to her and mentioned me not having a license again to my mother, and my mother went OFF, telling her to my her own freakin business and Ms. I was scared out of her mind. She knew she was wrong for that. </p>

<p>P.S. I just got my permit today! On my first try :)</p>

<p>I’d like to add you shouldn’t feel about about just getting your permit/not having your license at your age. You’re not the only one. While I do have my license, I’m a year older than you and I’ve never owned a car and barely driven at all, but I’m comfortable with this and my friends don’t care. My own mother never got her license and she’s 45 now and has no plans to get one. Just because you get rides from your mom makes you no less of a person and I hope you can become comfortable with it. Good people and good friends won’t care if you have your license or not. So chin up and I hope your mom’s chat with Ms. I helped things!</p>

<p>Thank you so much for the encouragement, lang92! I’ll keep that in mind :)</p>

<p>I didn’t get my license until I was 24! You’re fine. This woman has some serious personal issues, I think, and you shouldn’t let her circus into your head. Plus, has anyone reported her behavior toward the children? If one of my kids were there, I would definitely want this woman to be reprimanded.</p>

<p>Thanks :). Yeah the program ended this past Friday and I only saw her on occasion because she works at one site in the program and I work at another site, and both sites would only meet up for big field trips. Closer to the end of the program, when people at my site had to stay at her site for the last week, she and I would be in the same room a good number of times, and ever since that incident, which happened a while back, I haven’t said a word to her since. Not even a “Hello” to her. Before the incident, she used to come up to me and say Hi and I’d return the favor and we’d have small talk, nothing serious. However, after the incident, I’ve just walked by her every time without a peep lol. In the corner of my eye, I would sometimes see her looking at me, expecting me to at least greet her, but I never did lol. So after a while she got the point that she was wrong for her behavior and she knows that I don’t have time for her and her shenanigans. In hindsight I should have reported her behavior to the Coordinator, but I was just so stunned that I didn’t even know where to start, or what to do or say. I’m also not the type of person to initially tell on someone because I believe that everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we have diarrhea of the mouth, and we should all be given second chances. At least I won’t have to see her ugly face ever again lol.</p>