<p>93 bottles of beer on the wall
93 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
92 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>A gorilla walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and says “That’ll be five bucks.” As the gorilla is paying for his beer, the bartender adds “You know… we don’t get many gorillas in here.” To which the gorilla replies, “At five bucks a beer, it’s no wonder…”</p>
<p>92 bottles of beer on the wall
92 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
91 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>91 bottles of beer on the wall
91 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
90 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>Word of Advice: when you’re 21 at the Academy, take the wine tasting class. Great times
-eagle</p>
<p>90 bottles of beer on the wall
90 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
89 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“He is not deserving the name of Englishman who speaketh against ale, that is, good ale.” – George Borrow (1803-1881)</p>
<p>89 bottles of beer on the wall
89 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
88 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>88 bottles of beer on the wall
88 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
87 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will conquer the world. – Kaiser Wilhelm II (1859-1941)
(looks like he didn’t find one. LMAO)</p>
<p>87 bottles of beer on the wall
87 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
86 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.</p>
<p>The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.</p>
<p>The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one.</p>
<p>The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it.</p>
<p>The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.</p>
<p>The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?” and the Guinness president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”</p>
<p>86 bottles of beer on the wall
86 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
85 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>BEER TROUBLESHOOTING</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.</p>
<p>85 bottles of beer on the wall
85 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
84 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.</p>
<p>84 bottles of beer on the wall
84 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
83 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>Symptom- Feet warm and wet
Fault- improper bladder control
Action- stand next to nearest dog and complain about house training</p>
<p>83 bottles of beer on the wall
83 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
82 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>82 bottles of beer on the wall
82 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
81 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.</p>
<p>81 bottles of beer on the wall
81 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
80 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.</p>
<p>80 bottles of beer on the wall
80 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
79 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.</p>
<p>Last prog ever is done!</p>
<p>79 bottles of beer on the wall
79 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
78 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.</p>
<p>78 bottles of beer on the wall
78 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
77 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Don’t remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.</p>
<p>77 bottles of beer on the wall
77 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
76 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.</p>
<p>76 bottles of beer on the wall
76 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
75 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.</p>
<p>75 bottles of beer on the wall
75 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
74 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>“People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.”
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI</p>
<p>74 bottles of beer on the wall
74 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
73 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>And back to our previously scheduled program, BEER TROUBLESHOOTING, instead of repeating quotes ;)</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It’s water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.</p>
<p>73 bottles of beer on the wall
73 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
72 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in.
FAULT: You’ve wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.</p>
<p>72 bottles of beer on the wall
72 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
71 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.</p>
<p>71 bottles of beer on the wall
71 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
70 bottles of beer on the wall.</p>
<p>We interrupt our beer troubleshooting in honor of St. Patty’s Day:</p>
<p>St. Patrick’s Day Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one!</p>