<p>289 bottles of beer on the wall
289 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
288 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!</p>
<p>288 bottles of beer on the wall
288 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
287 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.” — Oscar Levant.</p>
<p>287 bottles of beer on the wall
287 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
286 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>Take a drink
And you’ll sink
In a state of pure inebriation
You’ll be tanked
Like the whole Irish nation!
When you drink enough of my beer
You will find this magic rule
Make your every joke a jewel
You’ll drive drunker than Oskana Maiul!
Go on buds
Drink my suds
Till you’ve reached that pure inebriation
Though the beer may be free</p>
<p>[YouTube</a> - Family Guy / willy wonka parody](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7DotfvgCkg]YouTube”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7DotfvgCkg)</p>
<p>You’re just renting it from me</p>
<p>286 bottles of beer on the wall
286 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
285 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“Legal drinking age in poland is ‘I have 3 euros’.”
— Cheater.</p>
<p>285 bottles of beer on the wall
285 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
284 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“Why is American beer served cold ? So you can tell it from urine.”
— David Moulton.</p>
<p>284 bottles of beer on the wall
284 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
283 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I’m an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can’t admit that you have a problem?</p>
<p>283 bottles of beer on the wall
283 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
282 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“Drink Beer ! It removes unsightly flab and wrinkles ! (on the person you’re looking at, if you drink enough of it)”</p>
<p>282 bottles of beer on the wall
282 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
281 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.”</p>
<p>281 bottles of beer on the wall
281 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
280 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Cliff
Cheers</p>
<p>280 bottles of beer on the wall
280 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
279 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“The Puritans brought more beer than water on the Mayflower as they departed for the New World.”</p>
<p>279 bottles of beer on the wall
279 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
278 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle. – Henny Youngman</p>
<p>278 bottles of beer on the wall
278 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
277 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world. – Saint Arnoldus</p>
<p>277 bottles of beer on the wall
277 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
276 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“I gave up smokin, women, and drinkin last night, and it was the worst 15 minutes of my life.”
-Rodney Atkins in his song “15 minutes”</p>
<p>276 bottles of beer on the wall
276 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
275 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“Intoxicated /adj./ When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it.”</p>
<p>275 bottles of beer on the wall
275 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
274 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time.”</p>
<p>274 bottles of beer on the wall
274 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
273 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“My old man always said: ‘the day I can’t do my job drunk is the day I turn in my badge and gun’…”</p>
<p>and the awesome USAFA internet was out, delaying this entry:</p>
<p>273 bottles of beer on the wall
273 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
272 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>-“Drink and drive. We need the business.” — Bumper sticker seen on a tow truck. </p>
<p>272 bottles of beer on the wall
272 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
271 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“I don’t have a drinking problem ! If anything, I’m TOO good at it.” </p>
<p>and on another note,at 2010 tonight, members in the class of 2010 will have been enrolled at USAFA for 100,000,000 seconds, that’s LUKE^8!</p>
<p>Too far, eagle.</p>
<p>271 bottles of beer on the wall
271 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
270 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. – Dave Barry</p>
<p>270 bottles of beer on the wall
270 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
269 bottles of beer on the wall</p>
<p>“I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing in their lights thinking I’d made it to the next club.” — Bill Hicks.</p>