@missypie just keep repeating: I refuse to worry, I refuse to worry I refuse to worry. This stuff works itself out.
Missy pie,
We went to an affair in Atlanta, with my son and sister. We went back to hotel room to chat. The hotel had made a mistake in our rooms, and sent up a plate of cheese, fruits, wine, etc. so, the 3 of us were eating and drinking. We. Lost track of time and missed the last hired bus to take us to the reception. Fortunately, another group missed the bus too, so we all shared a van to the reception.
The wait between was the MOST fun.
Have to say I hate receptions that are far from the ceremony and I hate gaps. I went to one wedding at 11 am and the reception was at 7 pm. It was a freezing cold day, and after a group of us went to lunch, we just sat around all day trying not to get dirty.
A good friend’s wedding was a fairly quick ceremony and then the reception about 90 minutes later, at a place that took 10 minutes to get there. We took pictures, we stopped in a bar (sort of a tradition) and we were still too early. Since it was at a country club, only members could get drinks early (luckily, many of my friends still remembered their parents’ account numbers and we charged away, just like the old days!). The wedding party and the hosts were all busy with pictures, so there was no one at the country club to handle the early arrivals. Not a big deal, but it would have been nice to have someone let the early arrivals know what was happening, pass some cheese and crackers, let the bartenders know it was okay to start serving.
Missypie, so happy for your son! Our situation is somewhat like yours in that FDIL’s family cannot offer much in $$ for the wedding. We are probably doing more than “typically” the grooms family might - but at the same time she means so much to us - like a daughter - we are doing what we can to make some of their dreams come true. <3
Gaps between the wedding and reception are common in these parts … maybe it’s a Catholic thing. The wedding has to begin by 3 because of confession prior to Saturday mass. We have been to a number of weddings with gaps, and we just hung out … sometimes with friends in a bar, restaurant, park, or even parking lot, depending on where it was. People can handle an hour or two without anything planned.
I LOVE weddings, and can’t wait until D gets engaged (hopefully, that will be soon - I’ve been expecting it since last summer). My niece had a very inexpensive wedding a few years ago, and it was so much fun. A cousin had a very expensive wedding a couple years ago, and while it was fine, it wasn’t really any more fun than the inexpensive wedding. Fortunately, D thinks that, too!
H’s boss’s D is getting married soon, and their guest list has grown to 700. Can you imagine???
700? Just “no” for me!!!
So @kelsmom, can you describe “fun, inexpensive wedding”??
They got married mid-day and had their reception in church’s gym … all desserts that the family made. They had lots of great homemade cookies, cupcakes, and assorted treats. They also had an ice cream sundae bar. The room was filled with large round tables, and people walked around talking to everyone. It was a relaxed atmosphere, and people had a great time.
A neighbor had a reception that was a bit more traditional, but still relatively inexpensive. They had it at a large warehouse-style restaurant (the BOB in Grand Rapids, for those of you who are Michiganders). It was a large, informal room with a bar and a space to dance - and couches along the walls for conversation. They had their own music playing through an iPod hooked up to speakers. The tables were decorated with mason jars filled with pixie sticks and windmills. Bar offerings were limited to beer and wine, to keep costs to a minimum. After dinner, they had a cotton candy machine. Lots of fun!
Yup, 700 for the boss. His D is marrying a young man whose cultural norm is huge, expensive weddings. His parents are splitting the cost, but even half is more than I would want to pay. D’s BF is from the same country, but his family isn’t into the whole big wedding for everyone they have ever met thing (whew!!).
I know that costs can be huge for weddings. If you can do it, that’s cool. If it is a strain financially, though, there are alternatives to expensive weddings, thank goodness.
I totally sympathize with the MOG’s desire to celebrate with her friends and family that won’t be at the wedding, totally, but WHY do they have to make it a gifting event? Why not just throw a party to celebrate the couple, either before or after the wedding, and specify NO GIFTS? That would not prevent someone who wished to send them something from doing so, separate from the party.
That is what I do not get. Is the celebration the point, or are the gifts the point?
I will share my own very recent experience that is similar. H’s cousin is getting married. We were told they are having a very intimate wedding, so we knew we wouldn’t be invited. However, I received an invitation to a wedding shower. I thought, “Guess we will be invited to the wedding.” Wrong … included in the invitation was a printed explanation that the guest list would be very limited, but that there would be a wedding shower so everyone could honor the bride. In other words, you aren’t important enough to share our day, but we want presents from you. BTW, I live a day’s drive away.
I did not send a shower gift. I did send a wedding gift, which I had already planned to do.
@kelsmom Not a Catholic thing here. All the Catholic weddings I’ve attended, including my own, have had receptions immediately after the ceremony. I had my reception in the parish hall, making it even easier.
@Consolation, D requested a no-gifts party, but was over-ruled. I think she indicated this preference twice, but MOB and her friends decided they wanted to go with a shower. I’m pleased that D has learned that it is better to let others win some of the small battles in order to win the war. I adore FSIL and his family seems very nice, but I’ve only met them once as there is a 7 hour difference between where I live and where they live. I’m chalking this up to the norms for his community & his family and friends.
@2VU0609, well, good for your D on both counts. 
My niece had a very fun and inexpensive wedding weekend. She rented a county park shelter and the price was the same for one day or three, so the got it on Friday and cleaned it on Sunday. It was a building like an oversized fire house, with garage door type openings, and some regular doors too. It had a big kitchen with double refrigerators, and several bathrooms, an office type room for people to get ready in.
Most people were from out of town so everyone was invited to everything. “Rehearsal dinner” (there was no rehearsal) was moved into the shelter because of weather (it was supposed to be a beach party). BBQ and games. Wedding was in the field outside the shelter, and they’d set up tables in the shelter for dinner, but plenty of room for dancing. Dinner was catered buffet, desserts were made by MOB. Lots of fun activities - sending Chinese lanterns off, fire dancers (brother of bride is crazy), firework, and bride and groom pinatas (which were a blast). Lots of music. They have a lot of friends who could do the pictures and music as a wedding gift.
Casual and fun.
D’s wedding was in October. Lots of ways to do weddings depending on preferences, budget, regional customs, religion etc. One of my friends describes wedding receptions as" just a big party", so I decided that my goal was that everyone (including me), feel relaxed and have fun. That was the main goal and from the comments we got I think we accomplished that!
^^I’m going to hang onto that thought “just a big party” - I think that’s what S and DIL want - that is what they should get - a happy, not too fancy, FUN party!!!
All the Catholic weddings we have attended on Saturday have had the couple hours break between wedding and reception. Unless you have an afternoon reception, that’s probably going to happen.
I love the idea of a cotton candy machine!
Fiance is having a buffet of good barbeque from a local restaurant, which happens to fit my style perfectly. (Casual, with quality.) However, the type of centerpieces she seems to be drawn to are more of the “elegant” variety. I’m not saying she needs to go with daisies in mason jars, but if the food is going to be super-casual, it seems like the centerpieces should be more young and fun/pretty than elegant. Another area to tip-toe into with great diplomacy.
They can’t afford to fund a full cocktail hour and I feel like I’m funding as much as we comfortably can without it seeming like we are taking over. Tell me if this is tacky or fun: before the buffet opens, having huge bowls of popcorn - white cheddar, caramel, regular, kettle - with cute cups to put it in. I feel like chips & salsa, meat and cheese tray, veggie tray are SO overdone.
I agree that the cheese/cracker/veggie thing is overdone. I personally love your idea of popcorn! But I’m a casual person - to me it seems like it would be a fun start before the bbq.
And I also don’t mind the daisies in a mason jar!
Speaking of flowers, came across this today - anyone ever order bulk flowers from Costco???
DIL wants hydrangeas in a simple way on the reception tables - this could be a good resource!
Are any of you using Pinterest with your brides to gather wedding ideas? D & I have had a private board for several years and I think that’s what made the dress search so easy for her. She was absolutely certain that she didn’t want a strapless dress and had a variety of pictures to share with the bridal consultant which made the search a piece of cake. She added the wedding planner to the board when we hired him and I know it has made it easier for him to zero in on what she wants.
I’m loving reading the variety of plans on this thread and how each fits with the individual couples’ styles. Really love the popcorn idea!
wow----those look great. I’ve bought flowers at Costco but never in bulk. That looks like a viable option.