We paid for D’s wedding, and we did not give an additional gift. I think she would have been upset if we had. She was incredibly grateful for the wedding. I did give her a nice shower gift.
Well, we are now in full swing for the engagement party we’re hosting at our home a week from tomorrow. I love planning parties and, as I told my H this morning, I am looking forward to enjoying this one because we decided to cater it. The pre-planning and baking (I made all the desserts) are fun but what I learned when I did the same for S1 was that not being responsible for everything on the day of a party meant I could enjoy our guests and the celebration. Crossing my fingers that the long term forecast is accurate because the party is planned for outside. I have to fly upstate on Sunday to pick up my mom so she can rest here for the week before the festivities because my sisters can’t make the party. I feel so lucky that my S will have both his grandmothers here, especially since they’re 86 & 87.
The wedding planning is also proceeding quickly since they’re getting married in March (and just got engaged in June). Venue - check, florist - check, dress - check, photographer - check, band - check! Since the venue is closer to me, I’m meeting with the catering people and will keep the MOB, FDIL, and S2 in the loop. We decided to create a Google spreadsheet to keep track of the budget and expenses since the families are sharing the cost of the wedding. MOB was very grateful that I created the document and said she appreciates my willingness to organize. I think this will all be fine as long as we keep talking - all six of us.
Thanks to all who responded. So it sounds like an additional gift now isn’t necessary. The couple is doing pretty well financially but they might appreciate a little help when it comes to furnishing their new home when the time comes, so I think we’ll wait and offer something then.
This was a good question, tCMom. It never occurred to me to give a gift. I gave a good chunk for the wedding. Then I was asked to make the goody bags. The fiancée didn’t want to buy the beer can openers for all the guests (wedding at brewery) so I offered to do so. I also hosted an engagement party at my house. Runnersmom, I did what you did, half catered.
What I saw as my gift was making a photo album for my son, including the fiancée in past few years. This project took months.
We sort of combined wedding and gift money. However it was doled out, it was plenty, and no one cared what was allocated for what.
We are covering the rehearsal picnic, entire reception, and day-after brunch. S & FDIL are covering photographer, cake, gifts and ceremony flowers, and wedding dress. There will be no honeymoon, they want to wait until they can afford one. Their choice, and a good one, imho.
We know they don’t expect a gift, but we wanted them to have something they could always have from the very beginning, to look at years later. There’s a huge art festival near us that they always went to; DH & I got them a piece of functional pottery that is very much their aesthetic, and will give them that.
I gave D1 my old wedding band with diamonds all around. It was the ring I wore when she was growing up and it was during the happier time of my marriage. I upgraded to a different ring later. I paid for the re-setting of ring with few more diamonds because D1’s finger is bigger than mine. It got something old and new.
I may give D2 my newer band. This one fits her and I wore it when she was younger.
I need ideas for a cheap sign that directs guests into the wedding venue. The drive is somewhat hidden due to the trees and we think many will drive right past it. I’m pretty crafty so can make it. I’d like B and G names with an directional arrow underneath, two-sided. Probably 2x3 feet. Needs to be bright enough for people to see. What to use for ground stakes, board, lettering?
How about getting some silver Mylar balloons, and writing their names on them?
And then sticking them into the ground on something like a plant stick?
Or hire a HS kid to dress in some costume (or a tuxedo) and hold/twirl/point with a sign like the “going out of business” sales ones 
How about an easel. You can print out a large sign at Staples and glue it to poster or foam board and decorate the sign and attach some Mylar balloons. Michael’s always has a coupon and the easels are not very expensive.
In my answer above I said you can glue the paper to the foam board but there is also something called Tacky Spray which will leave a smoother finish. Probably can get it on Amazon or Staples.
Venue is in a rural area, surrounded by golf course, trees, farms. Easel and board would not be sturdy enough in wind. We found a sign on Oriental trading for about 20 bucks that has stakes into the ground and is already double-sided. It’s personalized for no extra fee. We will add a few balloons and probably go with that.
Thanks for all the ideas!
For wedding invite, our parents were both married to original spouses, and we included both B and G’s parents in traditional. DD and SIL also have original spouses and included both B and G’s parents on the invitation. DD has two recent wedding invitations on her refrigerator, and both just include the bride’s parents. One interestingly had on the reverse side had “Details” and sub titles “Ceremony” “Reception” “Kindly Respond” and “Wedding Website”.
We gave our DD a fixed sum of money ahead of time, and FSIL and DD did all the arrangements in their city. Groom’s parents had expertise with hotel negotiations, and helped them sign off that one. Groom’s parents hosted a rehearsal dinner that was very reasonable - catered BBQ at a church hall (which due to DD’s involvement with the church did not need to pay to use it) and all out of town people and a table of clergy attended. Both sides had limited out of town family and a few close friends - almost all the guests were local friends or friends in nearby towns.
Their first Christmas, they didn’t have a TV, so on Black Friday H and I bought one for them and delivered it to them. They were very excited about it.
This year, we gave them a new sleeper couch and love seat that they picked out - we didn’t want to have people sleeping on an inflated at their apt.
Now we are putting money into the grandchildren’s college funds. $1000 at a time when we can. We put match in DD2’s Roth IRA.
DD2 may get married down the road. We gave her equivalent in a vehicle already. Try to do equal for both. DD2 will want to do all her own thing if she does get married but will include us in some decisions I am sure.
I give this to people I am close to. It can be engraved . https://www.simonpearce.com/celebration-bowl
I’d like that for myself.
Funny you should post that now! I’m taking my mom to the Simon Pearce retail store in Greenwich tomorrow because she wants to buy my S and FDIL a set of celebration champagne flute as she did for S1 and DIL. Very beautiful things, especially glassware.
S1 & FDIL called tonight to say his company let 14 people go today, and he was one of them. More than half the marketing and media group. So that certainly casts a pall with 6 weeks to go…
I am sorry.