Most of my clothes are black. When DS2 and DIL got married I did some frantic digging for a not-black sweater (City Hall wedding, MOB and I both wore jeans), found my one grayish-blue one. Love black, and for everything, but we’re not in an area that considers it chic for weddings, and I certainly wasn’t going to make a mourning statement at the kids’ ceremony.
When a close friend’s daughter got married I had to buy a dress (ice blue). MOG wore black and meant it. 
MOG with a dark navy blue dress here, and I did worry a little about it being mistaken for black, but I have bright red bows on my shoes so I think I’m okay. FDIL was puzzled by my concerns, as was mentioned her peers wear black to weddings all the time. Black, and lace on tiny, tiny “dresses” which read to my old eyes as “shirt”.
^^^ Navy blue outfit, especially with bright red bows, reads classy to me, not somber, and wouldn’t be interpreted the same way as a black dress around here. It sounds adorable!
@fretfulmother my apologies, I was thinking of Emily Post. Judith Martin (“Miss Manners” ) appears to be alive and not wearing white to weddings.
“Getting Married in Alabama Changing Aug 29” - new law ends requirement for a marriage to be “solemnized” by a minister or someone else licensed to perform a ceremony. Couple completes a state provided form and has it notarized, then to probate judge within 30 days. Fees vary by county. No waiting periods, blood tests or residency requirements. Must be 16 (with parental consent) or 18 (without parental consent).
Our clergy guy signed our stuff the many years ago in WI, but commented that he got into trouble by not making sure to sign another couple’s marriage document.
I worked with a guy whose wife had run away from AL to MS and gotten married at 16 to her first H - she wouldn’t have sex with him before marriage. But when they got back, her parents had the marriage annulled - she got pg on that short trip. She is quite beautiful, and her 2nd H is raising the child like his own.
How much does one spend on a wedding? I am sure there’s a wide range of answers for this one, but still in shock after meeting with friends this weekend. Their daughter got married a few months ago and this was a big wedding (3 days of events, 300+ guests). Cost was in the range of a quarter of a million dollars. !!!
Wedding of about 125 guests this year was roughly 32000. This didn’t include the dress, alterations, MOB dress but did include a rehearsal for about 75 people. The actual cost was probably a bit higher as the grooms family contributed some additional funds. This did include bridesmaids gifts.
We would have liked to have spent less but as hard as we tried we went over budget by a lot. My H hopes the next one elopes.
Wedding last year of 130 people I think was 35,000. I don’t know all the details of that wedding but that would be a good guess.
Another wedding I know of was around a similar amount. 125 people with no rehearsal dinner.
All three were weddings in Ca but three different areas of the state. All were in coastal cities which I think adds to the cost. None of them were over the top events.
I think the best money spent for my D’s wedding was the planner. I think in the long run she saved us money.
@arisamp where in the country is the wedding? We are dong one for about 100 in the Dominican Republic and it will be around $25,000 plus travel. DD and FSIL are contributing to what we can give them to make the total for what they want. We have a wedding planner included.
I don’t know my kids budget, but they mention making choices based on price. When it came to flowers, it was my son who said let the pros do it, we’ll be so busy
I have no idea what the brides family contributed. Is this normal?
@bookworm I’m sure that the grooms family had no idea what we contributed. I know that the grooms dad and his Mom who are divorced each contributed a few thousand. I only know this because my D told me. They did not offer to pay for the rehearsal figuring they had already made a monetary contribution. The dad did contribute part of the meal for Friday night. The Mom brought beer and soda.
For my S I don’t know what her Mom contributed and I doubt she knew what we contributed.
I’m quite sure my son in-law and family have no idea what we contributed towards the wedding costs. They did the rehearsal dinner, invitations, favors, and really that’s all we expected them to do. Frankly, I’m not sure my daughter knows how much the wedding cost…and I’m really sure my husband doesn’t know! All DH asked was “do we have the money to cover the wedding?”…and the answer was YES. He never asked how much that amount was.
I appreciate the responses. I know never to ask.
Earlier in this thread I posted some details about the cost of D’s June wedding in Italy. Still haven’t gotten a check from the groom’s family–who said they would contribute a total of 5K…Minus what they paid for DJ, photographer, and church musicians, I think they owe me 2-3K toward the reception, which we paid 100% of the food/drinks/venue. Groom’s dad mentioned it to me (the fact that he would “settle-up” later) before he left the reception, so I think he did intend to contribute. (I assume he has the $–their family appears better off than ours.) What would you do in this situation? Should I just text him a reminder with my mailing address?? (jk) My thought was to have my daughter ask her husband to remind his dad about it. We are on polite terms, but pretty much strangers (have met only twice. We are from different regions/cultures and will never be close.) I don’t want to seem rude, but I was expecting his contribution. Would you just keep waiting/forget about it?
I appreciate folks that responded with prices. Those do look more in line with my expectations. This couple did tell us that they split costs with the groom’s family. It still seems like a “way over the top” wedding for us. @Singersmom07 - this wedding was in the MD/VA area.
I would go through your daughter/SIL instead of going to the father directly.
@atomom I would have your daughter ask her husband to ask his dad. I think that’s the least awkward approach under the circumstances.
MD/DC is a very expensive area. Average in MD was almost $35,000.Check out this article from USA TODAY:
The average wedding costs more than $25,000. What’s the price tag in your state?
The average cost of a wedding in our area is just over $20K. D’s will be over 30 when everything is totaled. I think the costs will end up pretty evenly split between in-laws and us.
We each gave them a check for the wedding itself, but extras for us include her dress, shower, morning after brunch, formal wear for all our kids and DIL, hotel for our kids.
48 hours to go. She’s anxious, I’m calm. Everything is going smoothly so far.
That article included the cost of a wedding ring in the total costs - I don’t consider the ring when totaling a wedding, do you??
Ohio is listed as an average of $22,000. I still think these averages are not worth much in value because I think a big city wedding can increase costs over a small town wedding. (higher venue costs, pricier food, etc.)
For those who are fainting over the fact that they may need 25-35K for a wedding should know that many couples are doing a wedding for much less. Make a budget and that will be your wedding costs! Whether it’s $1000 or $40K, the cost of ACTUALLY marrying is not very much - it’s all the extras you decide on.
S and DIL probably spent $10,000 outside of the ring for their 2016 wedding for 125 people. It was very “them” and fun, we ate well and had a beautiful unique venue.
Atomom, I would send a polite email to the father and mother. Some people try to get away with everything. Good to set boundaries from the start