Our rehearsal dinner for S1 was similar to @shellfell. We are 3 hours from DIL’s hometown. I also researched venues that could hold 50, vetoed S’s preference for Mexican (we don’t eat those foods and didn’t want to deal with stomach issues the next day), and let the couple choose the place (Italian fare) and entrees (chicken, beef, vegetarian). DH and I decided on the final menu, alcohol for toast only, guest list. I kept S and DIL in the loop, but they had enough to do without adding this major detail to their list. We were very pleased with how it all turned out.
I sent invites to all the guests and asked for RSVP. We included my B and S, plus their children and SOs; H’s brother and family were coming the wedding day only. I asked my sibs in advance who would be coming because we were limited to 50 people. S followed up with emails to those who had not responded. We ended up with 43. Bride’s aunts and uncles are from the west coats and were pleased to be included. They enjoyed the time without the bustle of the reception.
“They enjoyed the time without the bustle of the reception.”
One of the most enjoyable parts of one niece’s wedding was when the bride’s parents invited close family/friends by the house on Thursday for drinks and visiting. Most brides family in town and a few of grooms. It was nice and got to talk to couple without all the stress of actual wedding events. Especially nice for older family members who could sit on comfy couches and have people come to them. This was a wedding where rehearsal dinner was pretty large and so not all that laid back.
Now if I was MOB, having people at my house at that point would have been very stressful! But worked out for them.
We also consulted with the bride and groom for the rehearsal dinner guest list. We couldn’t invite all the out of town guests, since that would’ve been everyone but bride’s immediate family (who’d be at the rehearsal dinner anyway). We didn’t want a rehearsal dinner that would feel like another wedding reception.
In consultation with the bride and groom, we cut off the guest list for the rehearsal dinner at aunts, uncles, and first cousins of the bride and groom. Our venue seated 40, and we had 38 invited. DH’s first cousins were probably annoyed that they weren’t invited, but the bride didn’t even invite all of her aunts, uncles and cousins (her choice).
True Rehearsal dinner…I was MOG …invitees were parents, grandparents, sibs and large bridal party. No aunts/uncles or cousins. Had to include the SOs of bridal party. 48 in a private room in an upscale restaurant.
For my S’s June 2016 wedding we hosted the night before dinner - it was after rehearsal at the church, but we didn’t call it a “rehearsal dinner”. We did want to include more than the bridal party and very immediate family…so we called it the “Wedding Eve Bash”. It was a casual event (some people wore shorts, some people sun dresses, some khaki’s…) with indoor and outdoor space overlooking the water. BBQ was the food and we had a pie bar for dessert. Huge success!
“Wedding Eve Bash” theme was highlighted in the invitation we created and was used in some of our homemade decor - D2 is a crafter extraordinaire - including a black and gold banner above the stone fireplace that said “Almost Married”.
The wedding was attended by about 125 people. Our wedding eve bash, around 40ish.
In my experience, the groom’s family plan and host it, as well as paying for it. Especially in a situation where the B&G are familiar with the area and the groom’s parents are not, there will be advice/collaboration on choosing the venue. For example, my H’s parents were interested in having the rehearsal dinner at a particular steakhouse, and asked us to check it out. We were underwhelmed by our dinner there. We suggested another place–The Silvermine Tavern, for any old time denizens of the area --and that is where we ultimately had it. We spoke to the manager and gathered some info for them, but the menu was chosen by my MIL/FIL.
abasket, that sounds like fun.
Our rehearsal dinner was just parents (no living grandparents), two groomsmen/siblings plus one wife, two bridesmaids with husbands, one of whom was my sister. Very small.
Time is amovin’ on so quickly! We are 2 months away, and counting down. Rehearsal dinner will be at my house, and should be about 30 people or so. I am not sure yet what we will serve, but it will be easy and homey. Maybe barbeque and brownies/ice cream. Or make it yourself tacos with Vegetarian options (might need to do that; lots of vegetarians coming…). Beer, fizzy water, grilled vegetables. Boy, I hope the weather will be nice! (Last wedding was in a monsoon, and had to change from an outdoor wedding to an indoor one.)
MOG here, and the wedding was yesterday. Overall things went well, but there were a few crazy moments.
6 days before the wedding, a bridesmaid backed out. Bride’s cousin filled in and girls switched dresses between them so cousin could get the best fit.
2 days before the wedding, the bride’s mother called to say my son hadn’t done his job of buying matching bow ties for the groomsmen. H and I went to every Kohl’s in town and were able to purchase 8 matching silver bow ties. Son and groomsmen were at an amusement park as part of the bachelor party. The bride also asked if we could pick up sparklers for 200 wedding guests.
The bride ordered a ring for my son on Etsy. It never arrived. They found another ring to use.
After arriving at the wedding reception location (an old log lodge), the bride’s mother noticed a sign posted, “No Sparklers Allowed on the Grounds”. Are there any other events that might call for sparklers?
No alcohol was served at any wedding festivities and it didn’t seem to impact the fun.
Congrats Toledo! Wow what a whirlwind of a wedding - you and your H were gems to do all that running! Sounds like you’ll be hosting a July 4th party next year for 200 people so they can each have a sparkler!!!
And thunder cake? The Thunder cake I know has heath bars in it - I’ll have to look at that recipe! I see it is from a famous children’s author - Patricia Polaccos - was her book special to the bride???
Ok, time to start planning! My daughter’s fiancee was finally approved for a K-1 visa!!!
For those who are unfamiliar with a K-1 visa (also called a fiancee visa), this visa is specific for those who want to come here to marry someone. The background checks are far more extensive than what is required for other visas. Once in the US, that person has 3 months to either get married or return to their home country. As a result, these tend to be quickly planned weddings.
He will arrive next month and the wedding will be in mid Nov. As soon as my daughter heard that he got the visa, we started looking at wedding venues. Chose one and put down a deposit yesterday. The date was chosen around when her brother, who is at a Service Academy could get leave to come home. Today she is looking for someone to marry them as Plan A fell through. Plan B is looking very promising.
Sadly, his parents won’t be able to be at the wedding, so he won’t have any family in attendance. A few very dear friends of his are hoping to attend, so they are looking into that right now. Fingers crossed that travel plans work out for them.
@bookreader, I hope all work out and your daughter’s fiancee has some friends that can make the trip. My daughter and her fiancee live in London and let everyone know the wedding date 15 months in advance so they could make plans to travel. The ones that are coming are spending a couple of weeks in the US, but many that said they would come, decided not to for multiple reason. My future SIL was quite disappointed that several people with the means, chose not to come. While he does have some family and friends coming, most of the guest are our family and the brides friends. I think once the weekend starts, he will feel better, but I was sad he was so upset by the lack of Brits that were coming.
Harp players transport their harps all the time, I can’t imagine that tuning would be a problem. If it was, they would play their smaller harps but they usually don’t.
I think for musicians who play large instruments, it comes with the territory. Bass players, cellists. We stopped at a a deli on our road trip this weekend and a family came in with cello in tow so it didn’t sit in the baking hot car.
This was a wedding where rehearsal dinner was pretty large and so not all that laid back.
--and that is where we ultimately had it. We spoke to the manager and gathered some info for them, but the menu was chosen by my MIL/FIL.
