I have no engaged kids (yet), but I think I’ve read every page of this thread over the years. My son will likely propose to his girlfriend this summer.
Question - who pays for the engagement ring these days?
Do brides typically get grooms some kind of expensive present also?
I told him HE should pay for the entire thing, and not expect anything in return. But then I came home and did some research, and it seems there are “new rules” for that also (basically “anything goes” and if they are already living together and splitting expenses then it’s perfectly reasonable to split the ring too).
Thoughts? What are you experiencing?
My SIL paid for the ring. However, I have known couples who split the cost - I started seeing it among college students in the late 80’s. My thought on this is that the couple should probably have had some discussion about engagement ring expectations before an engagement actually happens. It’s a communication issue - one partner should not be worried about the other’s expectations. They should discuss in advance.
My son paid for the engagement ring himself. They exchanged very nice gifts on their wedding day in October.
Ds paid for the ring, but it was complicated. She wanted to use a stone that had belonged to her grandmother but was on a pendant so the raw materials were free (they melted down a bunch of old family jewelry no one wanted for the metal). Getting a jewelry designer to create the ring was a good chunk of change anyway, and ds paid for that. It was really cool to see the process on her Instagram! Her ring is one of a kind, and I love his, too.
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My now SIL also paid for the ring. (Or I should say, “is paying for.”) D1 offered to help (she earns more and felt this was fair,) but he declined. When she and I talked of this, I suggested she could help him financially in other ways, paying down some other bill or somesuch.
A number of their friends have family rings or stones they reset.
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My son paid for the ring and used my mother’s diamond. My SIL paid for the ring. My other sons longtime gf has very expensive tastes so we will see what happens.
I have a smaller engagement ring (1/2 karat with smaller stones surrounding) and my husband paid cash for it. His brother bought a much bigger diamond (and his wife didn’t like the setting and has had it remade at least 2x since then) that he borrowed the money for. She paid for her ring for many years.
I think I got the better bargain 
My son bought the engagement ring for his wife. I am positive my daughter is not expecting to help pay for her engagement ring. Although she says she is happy to have a less expensive option if it means he proposes soon lol!
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We had a family ring which we gave to our future son in law. It needed some jewelers work and he paid to have all of that done. Plus a cleaning and appraisal. It was not cheap.
DD and SIL did not exchange engagement presents.
For their wedding, the presents they gave each other were their wedding rings.
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Yeah, an expensive present on top of rings and a wedding??? That sounds like the Marriage Industrial Complex right there.
My son paid for the ring himself. They had been living together a while and there was never any question that he was going to make that purchase from his account. He did call me to ask if there were any family diamonds he could use. I said if there were, they’d already be on my hand! 
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Couples should do what is best for them. My son and his wife exchanged very nice gifts on their wedding day in October, gifts they will have forever. They were very excited to show us them via Zoom that day. They did not have a big, expensive wedding because of the pandemic. Son got engaged just a couple of weeks before the pandemic really hit. When he told me his budget for an engagement ring, I said wow, that’s alot. But he said I love her (together over 3 years by then) and I want her to have a ring she loves. I knew enough to shut up then as it was not really my business how much he wanted to spend and he wasn’t asking me to help pay! 
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My niece went from May 2020 wedding to August 2020, now it’s August 2021. She’s also on her 3rd job since the first save the dates went out. She quit the first job to take the second, got laid off the day Michigan began lockdown in March with no hope to be called back any time soon, now has third job that will be long term. So now she has new friends and some on her list she hasn’t seen in over a year. I’m pretty sure we will redo the guest list next spring…
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Our nephew was supposed to have a reception in June 2020. It has been postponed to July 4 weekend 2021…but both his parents and the parents of the bride live abroad. At this point…everything is on hold. Plus they both have new jobs and are moving.
Wedding in Denver was postponed to August 2022. The couple wanted the same venue, and a Saturday and there wasn’t one date available in 2021. They also wanted all their same vendors…and even on a Tuesday, they couldn’t get that in 2021.
In both cases, new save the dates and invites are going to be sent…and I am guessing there will be adjustments to the guest lists.
My daughter got married March 28th. Their original wedding/reception for 150 changed at the last minute to immediate family with the rest invited to watch on Instagram or Google Hangout. They are definitely happy that they went ahead and got married. Especially with how long all of this is dragging on. I asked them the other day if they still plan on having a big reception at some point. SIL feels like they owe some sort of party to all the people that sent them presents. My daughter feels like if he wants a party he will need to plan it because she planned the wedding and she is done.
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The groom is expected to pay for the ring and the ring is to be returned if there is no wedding.
D1’s H saved for the ring. When they went shopping for the ring it turned out to be few thousand $ more than what he had budgeted for. He called me up to ask for advice. I said to get the ring she wanted. I told D1 to make up the difference if she really wanted the ring.
D2 may be getting engaged in a year (or 2). I have few nice stones that will go to my girls some day, but I won’t give one to D2 as an engagement ring. I think it should come from her fiance (or his family). We will pay for the wedding.
D1 and her H exchanged gifts when they got married (a necklace and a watch)
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Both my Ss paid for their wives’ engagement rings. I honestly don’t know if they exchanged any kind of wedding presents.
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My son and his wife exchanged gifts on their wedding day in October- earrings and a watch. They are with us now for the holiday and are both wearing the gifts they exchanged.
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My daughter and her fiance are still committed to a May 1, 2021 date in Boston. We just have no idea of how many people we will be allowed to invite, although the reception venue booked has a hard limit of 48. I don’t even know if this will be possible.
It’s kind of freaking me out that this wedding is 4 months away and we have booked nothing but the venues. But we just don’t know how many people will be allowed. No musicians (canned music only–this makes me sad), 1 photographer, a florist for church and reception site (a restaurant with a roofdeck). No point in booking a block of rooms at a hotel now b/c we don’t know how large this wedding is going to be.
My D says she wants to get married on May 1 no matter what. I respect that and I don’t want them to put it off.
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Just received a “change the date” notice for my friend’s S’s May 1, 2021 wedding in Atlanta. They pushed it to August 21, 2021 and are hopeful it will be able to happen then. @NJSue, I think this environment lends itself to last minute planning so I wouldn’t worry about what you haven’t booked, especially since the critical pieces seem to be in place.
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My SIL paid for the engagement ring and my D bought him a nice watch (definitely not as expensive but very nice) when they got engaged. They did not exchange wedding gifts when they had their micro-wedding last summer - but on their “mini-moon” they bought a nice piece of art which is now in their living room.
We’re still in a holding pattern hoping that their large wedding party in Aug. will take place but at this point who knows.