I’d ask your daughter what kind of event she’d like. She may want it simple like a tea or snacks and visiting or she may want party games and such!
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will do of course! I am inclined not to do too much in the way of cutesy games. But a consultation is definitely in order!
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Our bridal showers were very simple. Just a bunch of young adults hanging out at someone’s place eating bbq and having fun. No gifts or games. Just plain good time.
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Today my son bought a tuxedo in Lviv for the wedding. It cost $19. That is the correct # of digits. It looks fabulous on him (and not super tuxedo-ish – it’s cut more like a suit.) He was planning to get a suit, but couldn’t find what he wanted. He had planned to wear a vyshyvanka with the suit, but isn’t sure that would work with the tux.
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He looks so handsome in his new outfit! What a bargain! Hemming costs more than $19 here!
My guess is that there’s not much need for suits/tuxes these days in Lviv, so the shop would be glad to sell existing stock. This pic also tells me he’s lost weight, because he’s usually hard to fit off the rack.
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S2 now says he’s not sure he’s going to wear the tux. Is still looking for a suit because he really wants to wear the vyshyvanka.
And in even more exciting news, FDIL found her dress!!! She sent me a picture (unsolicited) and it is gorgeous. Simple, very elegant, looks fabulous on her. It’s not what I expected, but it’s perfect. S is gonna cry. Would love to post, but she really doesn’t want S to see it in advance, so I will keep the secret.
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D1 got engaged this weekend! 
She and her fiancé have dated for 6 years and are in their 30’s so no need for a long (by today’s standards) engagement. They are “hoping” for a spring 2024 wedding.
This will be my first MOB experience after a previous MOG experience. But we were quite involved for son’s wedding too.
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I won’t tell!
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So after six months of S2 and FDIL telling me the color is burgundy (but never showing me a sample), S2 went out with the person who’s going to make his vyshyvanka to get fabric and embroidery thread. It’s deep berry – the DMC color chart calls it “very dark grape.” Now I get to find a different dress. The deep berry looks better on me, so it’s not a total disaster.
Happily, the graphics I’m using for their evites has burgundy and deep berry, so that was not a waste of time.
He decided against getting a custom suit (there’s nothing off-the-rack in his size there) after learning it would be $2k. Is sticking with the $19 tux. Needs the waist taken in and would like to get belt loops added. Apparently loops are not a thing with a tux, but wearing suspenders with a vyshyvanka would just be weird.
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Normally with a tux, one merely wears a cummerbund and no need for a belt. In any case, belt loops and taking in a waist are both pretty easy and $19 for a tux is an amazing deal!
Hope you can find a great new dress of the color you prefer. I’m puzzled why your dress needs to match your S’s. It sounds like it would be fine as is.
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It is a hard choice but if that is what she really wants all you can do is point out the possible downfalls. At least the cost is a plus. My son and his fiancee wanted a destination wedding and considered Cabo but after a lot of concern from older family members on traveling there they ended up with a Colorado wedding in late August (6 weeks from now). They know a lot of people won’t travel there. They kept the invitations to about 100 people and would like 50 - 75 to come. It will be small but elegant. I know they feel bad some people aren’t coming but overall they are happy with their choice. Her parents had to give up on their Cabo wedding dreams for their daughter! Good luck with it!
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We are in the beginning phase of choosing venues. Either our town (cheaper, not as fancy, easier for grandparents), or her current metro area one hour away (expensive, aesthetic venues, more hotel options for guests). Most guests live within 2-3 hours of either place. I cannot afford the fancy locations so that would fall to them unless his parents help. DD is frugal but I feel like she might be tempted to overspend. She is going to tour a couple places this week. Last night we talked prices and I found a quote for catering at one that kind of blew her mind so she may just need to dream a little bit and then come to reality.
Our other daughter’s wedding will probably be one year after, so I also have to be careful with setting precedent and expectations. She’s the one that normally has the big dreams.
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i think this thread will support the approach of deciding what the priorities are, and then spend the budget accordingly. If they want to save moneyfor food or flowers or whatever, spending less on the venue (which aesthetically doesn’t end up mattering as much as brides think) makes sense.
My S/DiL did not care at. all. about flowers or a bar, so they bought flowers at thefarmer’s market and there was no bar at all. They are foodies and photograph-takers and saved most of their budget for a broad menu and lots of munchies and photographs from a veryspecific list of shots they curated. Music was provided by wireless speakers and a playlist running off the Best Man’s iPhone. Stuff like that. Modern couples are lucky in the lack of “must do” items most of us faced back in the day.
3 years later, they don’t really look at most of the photos but a couple, framed, are stunners. But everyone is still talking about the food!!
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Yes, in some ways, but now there is the social media aspect and all the cute Pinterest ideas lol!
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D1 who just got engaged…they have yet to share with us many details of what they hope for their wedding (and we very much feel the choices are theirs to make) but if I had to guess where they will or won’t put their $$$…
Will: venue that is NOT a hotel type or anything country/rustic-ish, FOOD, drink, honeymoon or post-wedding trip.
Won’t: over abundance of people, music, decor.
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For my son it was all about the view, the food, the photographs with an open bar and transportation to/from the venue (since it is up a dangerous road in the mountains). A nice honeymoon trip
For his fiancee it was the same with a nice dress and a wedding coordinator local to the event so she can work on her studying.
For her parents it was a nice cake. A string quartet for the ceremony and pre wedding happy hour, and candles/decor. They would have spent way less on those things but the parents chose to break the budget on them so they didn’t argue.
There will be no band, just a dj, no party favors, no escape limo (unless her parents decide on that too), no extravagant flowers, no diy stuff.
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We are invited to a couples bridal shower for my niece.
The couple is registered for a honeymoon fund for “experiences”. They are staying at her grandparents condo on a tropical island.
If we don’t contribute to the honeymoon fund, it says to not wrap the gift so that the couple can have more time “to visit with you”!
Not sure how I feel about this? Why not save money and just do a virtual shower.
I guess I’m ok with showers. But if you are going to the trouble, I guess it would feel better if there was a registry.
I’m sure the bridal couples here will set their priorities well.
We had a number of things.
DD wanted a ballroom. It didn’t have to be swanky but she wanted this…with good food and a nice decor. She was happy with her choice. And so were we.
I wanted a band, and I was willing to float the money for it. We are a family of musicians, and a band just seemed like the right thing. I’m sure a DJ would have been very good too…but the band really was good, and fun.
We all wanted someplace convenient to lodging as most of the family and friends were traveling here for the wedding…and needed a convenient place to stay. That worked out fine too.
Things that were not important…favors. We wouldn’t have had them except the grooms mother made some. Invites would have been ordered from Shutterfly or someplace…but the MOG is extremely talented and made custom invitations for them. Those were very special. Flowers were done by the florist at a local grocery store.
The photographer was our big ticket item. DD figured at the end of the day, all that is left are the memories…and pictures. She wanted good ones. Again, we were pleased.
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Do they have a registry at all?