Some neighbors would be thrilled to know their lights create a problem and would be happy to add more. Not all people are nice or neighborly.
Well you are right about that. But I typically find the best way to encourage niceness and neighborliness is to start by doling it out 
âŠ.a beautiful dinner and nice conversation can go a long way!
1 Like
We are definitely not ever inviting these particular neighbors over for dinner. Hereâs some âfunâ reasons why:
- in the past, has repeatedly commented about how much she just LOVES to look into my yard from her 2nd story window so she can see what weâre up to
- then repeatedly asks how come my DH doesnât do any yard work (huh, funnyâŠher DH doesnât do any yard work either)
- repeated questioning asking me/demanding to know why she never sees my kids playing out front
- said that she was installing a pool and then repeatedly asked why am I not installing a pool, too. UmâŠthereâs a community pool.
- said that she was installing astroturf in her front yard and then repeatedly demands to know why I am not installing astroturf in MY yard.
- complained to the HOA about my âbamboo trees.â HOA even sent me a love noteâŠI argued my way out of that because bamboo isnât a treeâŠitâs a grassâŠand the CC&Rs do not prohibit planting of grasses within 5â of the fence.
- 6 month of continual backyard construction, complete with regular 6:00 am jack hammering
- was divorced for a few years and dating/engaged to a weird guy who she told to go walk up to my desert willow tree in the front yard a few times in the winter to make sure itâs not dead. Told her that itâs a deciduous tree. She said, âWhatâs that?â It means that it loses its leaves in the winter.
- When the Indian family on the other side of her put up Holi lights one early December, thought that they were Christmas decorations. Then when I explained that theyâre Hindu, she said, âWhatâs Hindu?â Sheâd never heard of it. Thought that everybody celebrated Christmas. Had never heard of Buddhism either.
- later stopped seeing weird fiance and then remarried the original husband. That was weird.
- once her construction of Caesarâs Palace next door concluded, she wanted us to come over so we could âoooâ and âaahâ over it all. It was fine. not my style, but thatâs ok. She had a big gray concrete ugly fountain installed in backâŠand saidâŠget this, âNow our fountains can compete with each other!â UmâŠwhat?
- couple of years ago, I went out for a walk. She cornered me out front and asked to come along. I said sure. It was getting dark. On our walk, she asked, âHow can your husband let you walk outside like this by yourself?â
- for awhile, kept bragging about her brothers who run a chain of car dealerships in another state. Iâve only been to that state twice and only in the airport to change planes. She could not understand that I hadnât ever heard of her brothersâ car dealership chain name.
- when I was in my neighborly phase for 3 yr (that ended 2 yr ago), whenever she was out of town (which was often), sheâd order big things from Pottery Barn, Amazon, Crate and Barrel, etc., etc. Huge heavy boxes of things. Theyâd ALWAYS get delivered while she was out of town. She would then text me and order me to go pick it up from her front door and store it at my houseâŠto the tune of âA package was just delivered to my door. Go get it and keep it at your house. Iâll be home in 3 weeks.â Sometimes, it took both DH & I to carry it. I finally started saying no and she finally stopped asking.
Oops. I only occasionally pop onto this thread. I now recall some of your earlier comments on this issue. Did not realize I was commenting on this particularly difficult neighbor situation!!! Best of luck. The bamboo sounds like an excellent idea!!!
2 Likes
No sweat!
In a normal situation, your suggestion is a really good one. But this neighbor isâŠdifferent. 
2 Likes
That list was good for a few laughs. But how difficult! She needs to be gifted a timer for those lights. Only because you are concerned for her electric bill of course.
1 Like
Anyone ordered plants from Costco? Was looking at the site today and they have some tempting offers. A 4 pack of butterfly bushes for 45$, a 25 pack of bare root shade loving perennials for 40$. Even if some of the plants made it, I think it would be worth it.
Trying to see if any of my friends here are interested - I definitely donât want to be planting all these in my garden!
1 Like
Have not ordered any of their plants online but their in-store outdoor (and indoor!) plants are usually of high quality that I have seen or purchased.
1 Like
I havenât bought bareroots from Costco, but I wouldnât hesitate. Iâve bought bareroots from all over the place and theyâve always been fine. The only exception is this year I bought some from Home Depot and Lowes and they were mislabeledâthey said 3 plants but there was only 1 inside the opaque bag. This happened on several packages. Obviously a problem with their supplier. But the plant that was there was healthy!
1 Like
Depending on where you are, butterfly bushes may be invasive and not recommended. They are for me - I love them and have planted them for two decades but I ripped them all out in the last couple of years because I started seeing volunteer plants popping up. Itâs not that theyâd take over my woods - hardly - but the winds carry the seeds elsewhere, where they have become a real problem.
Also, theyâre not particularly âhealthyâ for butterflies, despite us seeing them flocking to them âŠ
Butterfly bush is considered invasive here in WA! We regularly pull these suckers out together with ivy and Himalayan blackberries when we volunteer in local urban forest cleanups.
definitely a lot of regional differences. Butterfly bush is sold in nurseries here in AZâŠneeds not that much water. But we donât get that much rain here, so it doesnât spread around.
Itâs invasive in my area (MA). I generally do my best to stick to native plants in my garden or non-invasives. I do have an area with an invasive ground cover (pachysandra) and have tried to convince my husband to pull it out. He argues that because we keep it very contained that itâs not harmful. Like BB, my town has a clean up dayâvolunteers get assigned sections of the roads in town to clean up. I usually volunteer, and pull up lots of garlic mustard (extremely invasive) and trash, which surprises me because thereâs usually more trash than garlic mustard on the side of the road.
3 Likes
We have sooo many invasives on our 6 acres. Itâs really depressing. The woodland natives - the jack in the pulpit and trout lilies, things like that - itâs a red-letter day when I see one. Meanwhile, thereâs lesser celandine and garlic mustard and Japanese stilt-grass and barberries choking out everything.
One thing on the garlic mustard, though - in spring when it comes up, before it flowers, you can take the leaves and make a really amazing pesto. We look forward to it every spring!
1 Like
My mother always claimed her gardening hobby kept her in shape in the summer. (Not so much for her winter hobbies - garden catalogs, - vintage pin buying/selling and marketing greeting cards with her flower photos).
3 Likes
I stopped by our gardening store to look at Bleeding Heart plants today. They said traditional variety not in yet. Iâm consider this type, which at the store has quite yellow leaves. Any experience with these?
1 Like
I have had bleeding heart before but have never seen the yellow leaf one. I guess I tend to lean towards a green leaf on most plants - to me looks more healthy somehow!
But if you like this one you should give it a try! Remember youâll have the leaf long after you have the flower.
I may give it a try. I like the green leaves better, but on my existing bleeding hearts (one new last year; one a few decades old that my mother planted⊠special to the whole family). Their leaves do go yellow/dead as the season progresses. It seems like it blossoms earlier, and I do pine for color in the springtime. Either way, Iâll likely get the green leaf variety too when available.
2 Likes
Iâm growing tomatoes from seed for the first time this year. Theyâre inside now under grow lights (for ~14hours/day). So far so good. True leaves are just showing. Will trim them to one per cell in the next few days.
Challenge is that Iâll be out of town for more than a week and H needs to take care of the babies. So not in his skill set. Will give him instructions and hope for the best.
Any advice? Iâm in coastal southern California, so thinking once theyâre ready to be moved outside the weather will be fine to plant in my raised bed.
2 Likes