K1 has straight A’s in Freshman and Sophomore year. Best friend committed suicide end of Soph year. Junior year grades are either A’s or C’s - depending on the classroom she was in - the memories were tough for her. Academic recovery as the year went on but not enough to offset the C’s.
35 in ACT - single sitting in July 2023. A’s in her senior year first quarter - we’re hoping.
Scholastic national writing awards and good music based extracurriculars.
How does one explain this to colleges and more importantly is this a valid explanation of academically low grades? Worried parent!
First thought is the school counselors letter is the best place for this information. I am so sorry for your daughter - what a terrible loss for all.
17 Likes
Thanks. It was terrible for all of us in the small community where we live. In terms of EA, we were thinking a selective college like UMich OOS. Should she even try? Or are the admissions officers truly able to disregard academics in such circumstances.
I’m so sorry for your/your D’s loss.
Your D should absolutely apply to selective schools. It is hard to predict how these things will go, so make sure she has a handful of target/match schools, as well as at least one affordable safety that she would be happy to attend.
Does she by any chance of good AP scores in the two classes she received C’s in? I assume two different classes, or is it 2 semesters of the same class?
I agree with coffeeat3 that the HS counselor should cover the friend’s suicide and impact on your D in their LoR. I would lean towards your D not writing about it in her essays or the additional info section.
3 Likes
It is terrible.
Yes, you should try and no you shouldn’t try to explain it because no one can say with certainty the student wouldn’t have gotten the same grade otherwise.
Yes to a counselor writing it - and if teachers are aware, they might include as well. Counselors don 't always write vs. simply giving the profile as they often don’t know the students.
I know the student doesn’t want to relive it so this may be so not worth it but many schools have an adversity essay and it could work although if having to think about it and write about it would be traumatic, it would absolutely not be worth it.
There are 20 common app spots so applying to a college is always worth it if you can afford it (U of M is well over $300K for four years out of state and you’re unlikely to get money).
Use your 20 spots - as long as you have one, preferably 2-3 schools you know you’ll get into, you know you can afford or are willing to pay for, and you’d be excited to attend, the rest of the list can be anything.
Clearly, the student is a possibility for U of M - so it’s worth the app (if you’re again, willing to pay at current prices $76K for the first two years and $80K for the final two…plus inflation.
Best of luck to your daughter. What a horrible thing to happen.
5 Likes
Great idea by @tsbna44 to also ask to have teachers include in their letters - especially if these teachers know your daughter well throughout her HS years and sounds like that would be the case when you mention living in a small community. This should not discourage your daughter from applying to any school that she is interested in and meets your affordability requirements. There are several places in the application process to have this explained - ideally by a trusted adult from her school. The reason for the grade drop is real and her recovery for the short term drop in grades is amazing and show quite a bit of resilience in the face of a terrible loss.
4 Likes
Different classes. She got a 4 in 1 and 3 in another. So not terrible.
2 Likes
I appreciate the positive words regarding resilience. It has come at a big price.
Seconding the option of having the counsellor address the awful situation that your daughter’s friend and family, and your daughter and family, experienced.
Your daughter does not have to write about the situation directly at all if it will be upsetting to her. College essays don’t need to address every impactful event in a person’s life.
This is a situation where the counsellor can address this more fully.
My child, while not in the situation your daughter and her friend unfortunately have been in, has also had to find resilience at a price.
I am very sorry to hear about this.
5 Likes
Rewrite would be traumatic I think. We have worked hard to get her back to a normal. Really afraid that she will return to that mind space. So we are subtly encouraging her to leave it alone. She seems to be of the same mind.
We’ll see if counselor will address.
1 Like
Yes bad thought. Apply to Michigan if you’re ok at $325k plus. If not don’t.
Hopefully there will be no adversity essays at schools she applies to.
What will she study ?
Wishing her good thoughts.
Hopefully she finds the right place for her. No young person or person should have to experience that.
2 Likes
No issues with applying to Michigan. Make sure the counselor writes about this. Your daughter should not. They want a solid essay so they can learn about her. They are about GPA /rigor of classes and senior year classes count and they might want midterm grades. Senior year is for getting ready for college.
More importantly Michigan has great mental health help and a world class hospital. A friend’s of mine kid actually had to admit himself into the hospital for depression. Their treatment etc changed his life. Graduated and doing great years later.
Good luck.
2 Likes
Music +. We think music tech, music + physics etc. Musical, mathy, techy child. Atleast that is how she is applying.
Interesting combo - I think you’ll find some schools that you may not realize exist if you haven’t already - and that her GPA/ACT combo will do her well.
Best of luck.
1 Like
If she hasn’t taken a look at U. of Rochester, I would suggest she check it out.
Wishing your daughter the best.
2 Likes
I confess I saw the title of this thread and did an internal eye roll. Kids have C’s - it happens.
Then I clicked on it anyway and now I feel guilty. I am so so sorry for your daughter, and for you, too, suffering helplessly with her.
If you had worded the title something like “how to explain dip in grades after horrifically traumatic experience” everyone would have gone “wait, what?” and “you just did!”
Seriously, how could a teen not be affected by this tragedy and show it, it wouldn’t have been healthy. Not necessarily in grades, because I guess some kids might, numbly, power through, and fall apart in other ways.
And I wouldn’t word it that she’s learnt resilience at a cost. She’s shown resilience she didn’t know she had, none of you did, because until then she didn’t need it. Resilience, for a teen, a lot of that is on you, so you got a lot right. This could have been so much worse.
I would think this is exactly the type of thing counsellor’s letters were invented for. And absolutely NOT the kind of thing teens should be forced to write about themselves. If a school wants an “adversity letter”, I’d seriously consider stopping my kid from applying - imagine the range of things kids might feel compelled to write about.
2 Likes
I have advised students like this for 24 years. She should absolutely tell her story in the application space dedicated to additional information. No excuses, just context. It has to be a story of recovery rather than simply a story of trauma. No one can tell you where she will get in, but we can tell you that colleges really do read these. Good luck!
2 Likes
Yes. We think it’s an interesting combo and not many apply for it. She has a very solid music resume to back it up. That was one thing she continued doing at a high level despite other issues.
1 Like
This helps! We will make sure it talks about recovery.
Yes. Should have worded it differently. But here we are. Maybe I’ll still do it. Everyone writing this has been great.
Spoke with counselor. They wrote something about this they said.
4 Likes