<p>Haaaayyyy.. ^_^''</p>
<p>okay I always ALWAYS whine about how ppl over dramatize their issues. but we are teenagers airights?! We are meant to dramatize some stuff!
So here's my "issue".
You see, the thing is I have always been the shy person until I managed to get over it, go out there and participate in the talent show and History play (which I wrote the script of and directed) in Freshmen year. and in the Students' Council in sophomore year.. And I actually won! I won 2nd place (after a senior) so I became Vice President. Until that girl couldn't take the pressure and I became President that year eventually! I hosted a whole show that year on my own in front of the whole school and got A LOT of good feedback...
So you see, I sort of made the decision starting high school to take more leading roles and become more outgoing.. and it all went smoothly..</p>
<p>until Today. </p>
<p>Because of my reputation as a "confident" speaker, i was chosen to host an event the school is hosting for some really important ppl coming over. I was pretty excited, especially that I haven't really done anything worthwhile lately.. I wrote the speech and all I was supposed to say as an intro to every "performance" or what's not. My teacher really liked it and today I found her dragging me from class to the "rehearsal" which I knew nothing about.</p>
<p>Now, I was okay with that until I found the one person I absolutely.. I dunno.. hate? no I don't hate them.. I dunno what to say abt them.. But the thing is.. before I became all confident and all, they were the one to take all the leadership positions and tended to always look down on me. When the audience roared with laughter at my play in the talent show, they got EXTREMELY disturbed by it.. especially in the History play since theirs was a fail. I became sort of a threat to them.. And in sophomore year, I became president while they came near last in the elections.</p>
<p>While I am aware of all that, I still can't fight being somehow.. alright I'll say it.. intimidated by them. I don't know</p>
<p>So when I saw them today (apparently they had a play/ experiment to perform) , I sorta freaked out and f***ed the whole speech up. I found the coordinator who was responsible of the thing talking to me about self confidence and eye contact and all that. My teacher told me she knew I had an "off" day and that tomorrow, she wanted it to be perfect.</p>
<p>That person's play went REALLY well though! I felt really bad. and I could see the victory in their eyes..
I honestly don't care if they do well or not.. I am not like that.. But the happiness in their face that I failed. It was awful. </p>
<p>I know it's just a stupid rehearsal and that I should get over it. But tomorrow they'll be there too, waiting for me to mess up. And I wanna know how to learn to ignore such sh**
I know I'm such a whinee now. lol..
I am week again. I haven't felt that in quite some time.. And I can't believe a person's childhood experience can hunt them like that forever</p>
<p>I am REALLY SORRY for the rambling.. the very detailed rambling.. But it feels good to get it out. I don't exactly feel comfortable talking to a friend saying "hey u know, this person I've been in class with since grade 8? u know, the one who was all "the boss" and look down to me till I stood up and took my chance at being a leader at last and proved them wrong? yeah, today I felt like a baby who just wet his bed when I saw them in rehearsal. They intimidate me. Imagine!"
^Not exactly the best statement to open a convo with..</p>
<p>thank you so much, if you made it this far XD
and my 2nd rehearsal is in hours, so any advice NOW would be helpful the most</p>
I completely failed my elections my freshman year, but wanted to stay involved, so I started to get involved in smaller roles throughout my school by joining clubs, cheerleading, and leadership class. I eventually was able to hold elected office after having others realize I genuinely care about my school and help others. I have had someone like this person you consider a “rival.” As time went on and I learned a lot more about myself and leadership, I realized that having leadership roles isn’t about having that title, but about service. My advice to you is to remember your role as a leader isn’t to be the best OF a group, but the best FOR a group. Thus, kill your rival with kindness. Concern your self with how you can impact your community through your leadership roles. Find success. Achieve great things. Reach your goals. But seriously, don’t worry about them. Ask yourself this, will what happened today matter in five years? Are they part of the picture then? If you don’t want them to be, leave it behind.</p>