<p>My daughter seems a little more stressed and a little less enthusiastic this 2nd semester of her freshman year. </p>
<p>Every time I talk to her she is tired and just seems kind of frazzled. Texted me today with "I got an 89 on my honors paper and I can't read the professors writing so I don't know what I did wrong" . </p>
<p>Is a bit of the blues normal at this stage?</p>
<p>I think it's normal. The "newness" has worn off, and it's the time of stress of getting to know new profs and their grading/teaching schemes. D is still happy, but not euphoric any more.... I think that is to be expected, and now she's stressing about what to do over the summer, with lots of options up in the air.</p>
<p>Very normal, especially if she's in a Northern climate and coping with cold weather or gray days.</p>
<p>There was a thread a year ago at this time on this same subject. I forget what it was called, but I posted a lot in it. Search on Second Semester and see what you can find. My son and his friend were so miserable 2nd semester freshman year that they ran away from college!</p>
<p>Here it is.</p>
<p>No one's story can compare to MomofWildChild's, but I do remember an additional source of stress for my son around this time freshman year was making plans for roomate/living situation for sophomore year. I sensed a musical chairs kind of tension (will I be the one left without a place to be?). Of all those people you met first semester, which were friendly, and which were really friends. Don't know if this could be a factor for your D.</p>
<p>Some students also start chatting up about their Spring Break plans, including trips to warm climates rather than to home. For some students, that presents a real conflict -- should they go, too? funding? should they ask their parents if it's okay not to come home this time? etc.</p>
<p>I think it's pretty typical to feel a little down at the beginning of second semester every year. Your daughter probably spent the break home with you, realizing all the things she had been missing and all the things she had taken for granted while at school. Even though I moved out five years ago I still always miss my mom's really good dinners and sitting down to chat with the family. While making my favorite recipes does cheer me up a little, TV's no substitute for family conversation.</p>
<p>For the first 2 weeks of this semester all our daughter seemed to do was go to class and sleep. Every time I spoke to her she was either getting up from a nap or getting ready to take one. I was getting worried but then tests and papers started being due and she got back into her normal routine.</p>
<p>She also has to apply for housing lottery by Monday and she does not have a group she wants to apply with. She wanted to "squat" her present room but it is being renovated so no one will live there next year. She said the worst case scenario is that she will be in 6 person non A/C attic room. I do not want to be anywhere near her if that is her assignment.</p>
<p>Everybody seems right on so far!!! </p>
<p>My D is still very happy, but also has the option of coming home a bit more frequently (or us going there) cause she is only 75 minutes away...but, she did call me a week or so ago and said "Mom, you gotta give me some mojo" - motivation! They work SO hard! It can be tougher at college to get away from the whole school thing - it's everywhere they look and guides everything they do! Plus, yeah, the thinking of next year, what am I going to do this summer, how am I going to live without my college friends this summer, yada, yada, yada! </p>
<p>Maybe this is a good time for her to try something new - a simple EC activity, exercise time (my D and her friends have been doing some crazy DVD called "hip hop abs" a couple of times a week and having a riot!". </p>
<p>And of course, be there for her. Offer the support, keep bringing up the positives - but yeah, usually the honeymoon does seem to wind down....!</p>
<p>
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For the first 2 weeks of this semester all our daughter seemed to do was go to class and sleep. Every time I spoke to her she was either getting up from a nap or getting ready to take one.
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Sounds like a clone of my daughter!</p>
<p>
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Maybe this is a good time for her to try something new - a simple EC activity, exercise time
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I have been telling her to do this. Funnily as I was about to type this she texted to say she just went swimming - smiley faces in the text.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the responses. I am being a worrywart as usual. About a month ago she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. They were joined at the hip the 1st few months so she has not made other close friends which was exactly what we were afraid would happen. She has not made close friends to move off campus with so she is staying in her current dorm. They (she and ex) are still close friends and hang out together a lot which is odd. Although She seems relieved about the break up (he is very very moody - by the way any girls reading this the romanticized dark and moody male in novels is a pain in the a$$ in real life - and bad tempered). I am sure that is a part of her current angst.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I do remember an additional source of stress for my son around this time freshman year was making plans for roomate/living situation for sophomore year. I sensed a musical chairs kind of tension (will I be the one left without a place to be?)
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</p>
<p>Oh, yes.</p>
<p>I think this is a major source of stress for second-semester freshmen. </p>
<p>An additional source of stress for many is trying to find something appropriate to do with the upcoming summer. Not everyone has a long-established summer job that they can go back to. Some people are applying for multiple summer jobs and internships, knowing that they are competing with older students and therefore have rather low chances of getting any of them. And applying for all those things is time-consuming.</p>
<p>The other stress for my d is "alone time". She's an only child, so never had to share a room (or a bathroom!). She loves her roommate, and they're planning to live together next year too. But she's now longing for some "alone time", and there really isn't any place for her to find it comfortably. (A cubicle in the library doesn't count!)</p>
<p>I remember talking about this with other parents of freshman last year at this time (kids are now sophomores) and we all felt that our kids were more stressed, seemed to want a little more input from home on even little decisions, and were just a little bit needier. I am happy to say that it does wear off...and they all found their place.</p>
<p>Housing, harder courses, grade stress, (hopefully) a little less partying and a little more reality, social shifts, and finding their "place" on campus all seem to play a part in all of this. Don't ignore your gut though if you really think something is wrong - encourage your child to find someone to talk to (professional at student health or otherwise). </p>
<p>Our son started to meet new friends through the fraternity he was pledging and the projects he became involved with there; he also sought out other activities where he might meet like-minded kids...other than only those kids on his floor.</p>
<p>Hope that things look up for your kids soon.</p>
<p>S seems to be doing fine. But, I am missing him much more now than after I dropped him off in August. It was hard to put him on the plane to go back to California.</p>
<p>I can so relate! As can my daughter. I was way more emotional bringing her back to school last month than in August. Neither of us wanted to part but held tears back until the drive home. She has called so many times this semester. Mostly depressed, fearful of money, worries of everything! Every phone call and I was fall to pieces as what can I do? Finally, the weather has broken and she seems happier. I wondered if housing was an issue. When she decided who she wanted to room with next year, much of the stress left.</p>
<p>I am really glad to be reading about this. My D was going through the Second Semester Blues a couple of weeks ago. She came home for one day and went back much happier than when she came home. It does seem to be common and normal, which is what we told her. I totally relate to the folks who mentioned Sophomore housing and lotteries as a big source of stress for their kids. D was feeling that too. I guess we can just tell them that so many of them are feeling the exact same things. This doesn't make it go away, but at least they know they are not alone. It's great that they are reaching out to us-- our jobs as parents are not done, are they!!</p>
<p>Why is it that I have the kid who ran away?</p>
<p>I guess my child got out her rebellion attending the Sex Workers Art Show! (smiles)</p>
<p>MOWC, were you a WC yourself? Maybe it's payback :) j/k</p>