<p>Ive been here for about 3 weeks and I havent really made many friends. My university is pretty small. (1,500 students I think). I made 1 during orientation. We have been inseparable since. I guess you could say I am friends with my roommate. We do hang out sometimes and get along pretty well. I have always been a shy/quiet person. I really want to change that but its REALLY hard for me. My friend and roommate both went home for the weekend. So Im pretty much all alone in my dorm with no one to hangout with. It just sucks because I see people hanging out in a big group of friends while Im always just hanging out with my one friend or roommate. My friend does have other friends. But I think she only hangs out with them when shes not with me. I did hangout with her other friends before. They were nice to me but I felt kinda awkward because theyre really into partying and drinking. And Im more of a calm person I guess. Im just not good at making friends obviously. </p>
<p>*Btw, I dont mean to sound conceited, but Im a pretty attractive person with good hygiene haha. I know a lot of people are mean (mostly in high school/middle school) and do not befriend someone because of the way they look. But I dont think thats the cause of my problem lol.</p>
<p>I did meet a guy. We went on a nice date last week. But he goes to a different school. Honestly Im REALLY good at catching dates than at making friends haha. Before I moved here I thought it would be easy to find a group of friends. It just feels a lot like high school sometimes. But I do agree that majority of the people are nice in college. I just feel sad because I feel like I have no one. At least in high school (I didnt have many friends in high school either) I had my family to go home to after a bad day. Here I just have an empty room. So far college is not what I expected. Me and my friend did sign up for a club that starts next week. Maybe that will help some. Any thoughts or advice?</p>
<p>It will get better with time, especially if you spend your free time out of your dorm room. Maybe try getting an on-campus job? Even if you don’t need the income, it’s a very easy and natural way to meet people. Just make sure it’s a social job, not shelving library books or something.</p>
<p>Joining a club definately sounds like a step in the right direction, but beyond that, it doesn’t really sound like you’re doing a whole lot to put yourself out there. Making friends, being outgoing, making small talk are like muscles that you have to build up. I think lots of quiet, shy people convince themselves that college is going to be the big golden opportunity to become this outgoing, life-of-the-party person…but if you haven’t flexed those muscles befort than it’s just not gonna be that easy. I think in those first couple of weeks/months of college there’s a lot of “fake it til you make it” going on. Pretend to feel like outgoing social belle of the ball and hopefully in time you won’t have to pretend so much.</p>
<p>Just a gentle suggestion…I’m sure you’re a great friend, and your “bestie” really enjoys spending time with you, but if she’s got a group of friends besides you and you haven’t been embraced by that group I fear that eventually she’s going to feel like she has to choose between you and them and it’s going to start to feel like an obligation. Its terrific that you’re joining a club together but I would really encourage you to do some things on your own so your wonderful friendship doesn’t start to feel “needy”. Have fun!!!</p>
<p>Instead of staying alone in your room - pick up and move yourself to someplace else on campus - the library, the dining hall, the student center , the quad (if the weather permits). Even if you just do what you would do in your room (watch youtube videos, do homework, whatever) you are giving yourself a chance to make connections with other people.</p>
<p>I’m not so antisocial that I never talk to people. I ALWAYS talk to the people who sit next to me in class. (I’m a friendly approachable person but I’m just shy/quiet sometimes.) But it never mounts to anything. </p>
<p>I do have the number of one of the girls who I sit next to in math. We always text each other when we have questions about homework. I really like her but I don’t see her out of class since she lives off campus.</p>