<p>i know this is your area of expertise-- and not mine, but do his ADHD meds meet his needs? Does the math class come at a time when they may not be working as well?</p>
<p>The most recent double-blinded studies on ADHD meds suggest strongly that they are only effective in improving academics for two years, allowing time for changes in the environment that will allow for more effective learning. </p>
<p>I’m not a psychiatrist, but it may be that his meds are working against him.</p>
<p>Yes mini, and while that study is hotly debated on other forums, I am not expecting any miracles from medicine. FWIW, his current problems are more behavioral than academic, but then they have always been. It wasn’t until his behavior improved some in elemntary school, that we realized he might ALSO be having trouble completing assignments and the like. It COULD be working against him, as he has said it makes him “depressed” ( when younger he used to say “he couldn’t have any fun”, and i suspected that meant he wasn’t falling out of his chair…), but when I asked him if he wanted to stop it it this year, he said no. I suppose it’s because he is doing relatively well this year, and trials off of meds in recent years have been associated with significant consequences, including a “suspension” for impulsively “pantsing” some kid. He wasn’t the first, but he picked the wrong kid. Parents pressed charges ( or said they did). This was a kid he had befriended and stood up for, when other kids where bullying him. Really shook my son up. Sent the kid an apology with a picture of the two at my sons birthday party.</p>
<p>I was actually not suggesting that the teacher ask Shrinkrap’s son specifically. Perhaps it’s a bit too much for 11th grade, perhaps not. But if the teacher waits until everyone is present and asks for the homework, then that would be a reminder to her son to look for it in his knapsack. She could check whether all have been turned in than ask for the missing ones. Just a suggestion. It might work better in elementary school. But a newbie teacher needs help coping with ADHD students, too.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap, I can’t add much to what others have posted, but I do encourage you to work with the teacher to come up with some kind of accommodation to help your son succeed. It sounds like the teacher is a conscientious newbie who doesn’t want to be perceived as lenient or taken advantage of by the students–and, of course, that’s reasonable. I’m guessing your son feels crummy about himself every time he fails to control an impulse to say or do something he knows he shouldn’t. Maybe the two could benefit from regular meetings–say once a week before school–during which the teacher can accept missed assignments (perhaps for reduced credit) when other kids are not around to know about the “special treatment” and your son can offer apologies, experience redemption and ask about upcoming assignments. In return, the teacher can perhaps gain some insight into your son as a struggling kid, not just a disruptive PITA. As for those who would say this sort of accommodation will not help him in college, I don’t think that’s true. It could actually teach him the benefit of attending professors’ office hours. And he’s not in college–he’s trying hard to get there. Also, it’s been my experience–and my daughter’s thusfar–that college professors do tend to put out syllabi and don’t tend to have 20+ little assignments during the course of a semester, but rather longer-term projects and papers, both of which work better for an ADHD kid.</p>
<p>My son has undergone a remarkable turnaround since starting on an ADHD drug in the Fall and I can relate to much of what you have experienced with your son. Mine never had the propensity to shout out in class or be otherwise disruptive, but his friends have remarked “it’s so strange not to hear every thought as it occurs to you” to him (and I have noticed same). Is it possible your son would benefit from a review of his meds or dosages? In your field of expertise you no doubt know more than I, but I believe I’ve read about serotonin levels being important to impulse control–do you think this could be a factor for your son?</p>
<p>You mention that he’s been on medication since he was five, so this may be something you’ve never experienced (or not for a long time): My son’s grades first quarter were something like B, B-, C+, B, D+. He started medication on the first day of second quarter. His second quarter grades were a little better except the D+ (in a class where homework collection was sporadic, the teacher didn’t believe he was doing it, the class was noisy and DS sat in the back. Long story short, we pulled him and put him in JHU CTY online honors version of class.) Third quarter grades were better still, and currently he has 3 A’s and two B’s (in AP Lang and the JHU CTY class) and has been student of the month one month in each of the A classes (Spanish, AP Lang, and Physics). He remarked that he “worked way harder first semester and got nowhere”. My point being the meds (presumably the right meds) made a huge difference.</p>
<p>My 2cents on the community college thing… I think that depends on the kid and the circumstances a lot. For many reasons that are difficult to articulate, I would fear my son would be far more likely to experience utter failure. If the OP sees a CSU as a good option for her son, it probably is.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone, and I have a great update! I couldn’t resist, and emailed the teacher about the F over the weekend. Turns out he got the F because he didn’t turn in test corrections…because he got 100 percent on the test… He had to give her a note so he could be excused from the assignment. She fixed it.</p>
<p>I put my kids in charge of their teachers and the on-line grading thing and they do quite willingly, I rarely watch anymore. If your kiddo’s teacher was my kids’ teacher that F would never have gotten deleted without a prompt from either a student or a parent. I’m glad that this hurdle appears to be crossed.</p>
<p>"I’m glad that this hurdle appears to be crossed. "</p>
<p>Amen to that!</p>
<p>Hmmm…so to keep looking, or to stop looking…that is the question. Perhaps the solution is to have the grades sent to HIM every day. I have talked to him about this before, and will need to re-state that. </p>
<p>Again, thanks everyone!</p>
<p>Wow! Great news! And the teacher has learned that she is not infallible and perhaps needs to make accommodations for your son, too.</p>
<p>Ah…so much angst for naught! Congrats to him for having THAT particular problem!</p>
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<p>You can put him in charge and peek once in a while until you’ve got trust. Our smallish public school will also e-mail the grades on whatever frequency a parent requests…daily, weekly, monthly for anyone, whether or not you have an internet sign-in password. Perhaps you can put him in charge and change your frequency. Putting my kids in charge also made them feel responsible for talking to the teacher if they saw an incorrect grade, a missing grade, a grade they questioned. In the beginning they knew the “mom” was watching and I think they would quite willingly absolve themselves of the responsibility feeling they didn’t need to “watch” and fix stuff. I learned that lesson pretty quickly with son number 1.</p>
<p>My son has executive function issues and other LDs. What I found helped was getting him an executive function tutor, where he was taught strategies and techniques in organization. </p>
<p>We got him a electronic organizer, a Palm Pilot (any brand will do) and he uses it religiously. It helped him a lot in college. </p>
<p>I think for parents with LD kids, we have to be cognizant that we probably have to be more involved with them than with neuro-typical kids. We won’t ask a vision impaired kid to “grow up” and take responsibility to see better so we shouldn’t expect executive function deficit kids to take responsibility to “get more organized”. IMHO. This is not to say we should make excuses or coddle them but for myself I try to remember that my kid is not lazy or immature. He is trying, but is just no good at this.</p>
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<p>Ahem…it’s the law that they follow these IEPs.</p>
<p>One of the local principals said “So? Sue me”.</p>
<p>Funny he said that, I know a family that did sue over a district not following laws pertaining to IEP’s and special needs kids. They won and the school district is now spending a fortune to meet the needs of their child and others, much more than the family was asking for in the first place. A close reading of the law let these attorney parents see that you could demand all sorts of things from one-on-one teaching to computer equipment.</p>
<p>i think the key word there is “attorney parents”</p>
<p>For reasons I wont go into here, I found that most really good attorney or law practices have relationships with the many public schools in the area. It was hugely difficult to find an attorney with that kind of instinct that didn’t have a conflict of interest. And what was also surprising is that even if they don’t represent YOUR school, their connections through the boards or other entities also muddle the picture. You can go through the EEOC, but the wheels of govt justice take so long you will still be arguing when the kid is old enough to graduate from college!</p>
<p>Shrink,</p>
<p>I don’t have any great solutions, but I just wanted to offer some support. Lord knows that I struggled with some similar issues with one of my kids, and it just broke my heart sometimes.</p>
<p>However, the good news is that kids do grow up and they do turn things around. In the meantime, hang in there and continue to be the good dad that you undoubtedly are.</p>
<p>"continue to be the good dad that you undoubtedly are. "</p>
<p>Thank you!..He really has come far in the last year or so. That’s what makes me wonder what the next few years will bring, and how sad it would be if in a few years he WAS “ready”, and it was too late. And I’m a mom…</p>
<p>shrinkwrap … I was avoiding the chime in “just like my S” with your original post. Mine moved schools and is doing better, but last year I could have written your original post.</p>
<p>But NOW I have to offer advice (despite missypi’s thread on keeping your mouth shut!)</p>
<p>“What if he is ready in a few years and it is too late” NONSENSE! DO NOT WORRY!</p>
<p>It is never too late and really! there is more than one path through life!</p>
<p>And MANY more than one path to and through college. </p>
<p>Count your blessings that he is a good kid (mine, too) and believe in him and in your good parenting. If he doesn’t go to college at 18, what does that matter? There are a LOT of 20 something freshmen !! </p>
<p>Hugs to you and him and breathe lady!</p>
<p>You are right, and I THINK I would be fine with this. Him? Not sure. He REALLY wants to keep playing soccer, and there are not many venues in the US for kids over 18. Not a reason to go to college though. He’s mentioned a two year degree, and I think some “tech degree” ( is that what it’s called? ) would be great. My brother was very much like my son. Went to college a few years, then dropped out. Went back to finish (deathbed promise to my mom), and I think he’s glad he did, but not sure if it was relevant to his ambitions. He was nominated for a Grammy last year! I’d love to hear your sons story. Is it here somewhere?</p>