He cried for half an hour and now is quietly reading a book. I hope he feels better tomorrow. Yes I take it pretty hard on myself too. But I will take your advice of doing nothing. Let time flush the frustration away.
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4th grade is intake year for both Milton and Meadowbrook. With that said, they only have 8 and 8 spots. Based on our observations, the acceptance rate is probably around 15-20% give or take. I think thatâs inline with their upper grade admission. But I think I neglected the fact that legacies and siblings easily take up half of these spots, because the base number is so low.
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Go out for ice cream and celebrate all the work you did. You can tell him that you know heâs amazing and didnât appreciate that amazing might not get him one of the few spaces there were. Itâs impossible to say one kid is better than another but one might be a better fit, even at this age. I always like to think of it like assembling a team - if youâre putting together a soccer team, Michael Phelps isnât going to make the cut.
And congratulate him for putting himself out there. I agree that one of the best paths to prep schools is through K-8 private schools. Placement is part of their mandate. And they will also help you with fit beyond best names.
Enjoy your sundae!
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How you take it/frame it will heavily influence how your son takes it.
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Absolutely. If the OP brushes off the rejection, and says âweâll try it again a few years from now if we feel like itâ, and genuinely moves on and doesnât bring it up again, the kid is likely to think âhmm, thatâs ok. not a big dealâ.
Unsure if kids that age truly internalize what it is to go away from home.
It took my college age kid time to adjust going away to college.
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@BeHonest Iâm sorry you did not get the result you were hoping for. What I know for fact is that you having no connections, etc was not seen as a strike against you in admissions. We were in a similar position five years ago and my public school educated daughter was invited to 6th grade at Milton. Through the years in middle school, I served as a parent tour guide who showed prospective families around campus before interview â I can tell you that I met SO many wonderful families, with amazing children during this time! There simply isnât a spot for all of them, obviously. Sometimes there is just something that clicks, or doesnât. Other times it could simply be a âyes, wonderfulâŠbut do we really need another______â And then, factor in siblings possibly trying to moving into the grade. All this to say, you canât ask any more of your child â wherever he actually ends up, be it Milton or elsewhere, itâs likely that thatâs where heâs âsupposedâ to land! My daughter actually had her heart dead set on a different school, where she was waitlisted yet it was Milton that wanted her. Five years later, we couldnât imagine a better fit and also couldnât imagine actually attending the waitlisted school!
We used to live in Boston, but live in CA now. Iâm so glad that Iâm not there to put my kids through all that. Your son sounds like he is doing well and is happy where he is. A little perspective: None of these schools matter. They cost a fortune, and heâs getting a great education and thriving, for free. Consider it a blessing-- you can save the money for college, or something else, and he can stay with the friends he has. Why add the pressure cooker, the competition, etc.? Itâs sometimes better to be a big fish in a small pond, anyway. Your kid sounds nice, and Iâd let him keep blooming where he is. I truly believe youâre better off.
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I was going to comment something similar here; we have children at one of the schools you mentioned and I know that this particular year was extremely competitive at both the Lower and Upper School because of so few spots. I know itâs frustrating! Iâm going to send you a PM with some other details that might be helpful.
@SkysTheLimit2007 thank you so much for your unique perspective as a Milton parent. I totally agree with you that sometimes itâs chemistry, or they just simply already have kids with similar profile. But then I thought, how is this principle reflected into specifics? Are they looking for kids with different skillsets? Does it really make a difference if a kid playing hockey well vs playing violin really well at this age? Then maybe itâs personality. Maybe some personality is what they are looking for, and not the others? I guess I am looking for examples of âuniquenessâ. And i know itâs really hard to interpret that.
Yes I did reflect on this decision to help him apply at this age. We were initially just looking around going to different open houses. Then my son fell in love with Milton Academy, so we applied. He also likes Meadowbrook and Fay. So we thought we would only apply to schools that we want. No backups, no preparation for rejections. Thatâs why we were caught off-guard. With that said, he is back to normal now, but I can definitely feel that this is still going through his head. He already said he wanted to apply again for 6th grade, I think we will open our options much wider then.
Did you look at Fessenden?
That poor kid. Makes me want to scream, a nine year old crying because he got rejected by private schools. You need to make him realize that this rejection has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with who had older siblings already in the schools, or was a legacy. Please understand that if youâre in a good district in the Boston suburbs, he can get a fantastic education in your public schools, and get into top colleges from them. The over half a million youâre going to spend on private schools through high school might be better invested in real estate or the market.
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Interestingly, we did think about that - investing the tuition and fees we are going to save for the next two years in real estate maybe:)
Back on our track - initially it was us parents driving private school selection. But towards the end, it was really him driving the selection and process. We wanted to help him however he feels happy. I think he gets hooked on private schools now. I guess itâs really a mix of wanting to experience something new and proofing himself. Will just let him be for a while. Time helps. And this experience may not all be bad.
Wow ur 9yo is awesome. To have enough sense to understand whats going on at that age. You got nothing to worry about.
I applied my 8yo. When I told her you got rejected by all, her response was âwait so. Are we getting pizza tonite or not?â Just had no care.
In perspective, I applied to private school my whole life. KG to 7th grade. Applied every yr. Rejected every yr. Every year! Colleges, i applied to over 15 colleges. Rejected by all. But got into one. One even returned my application money and said dont bother. I applied to over 32 medical schools. All rejected. Except one. I applied to 15 residency programs. Matched my last choice. Last. When i applied to jobs, market was poor. Sent resumes all over the nation. Every state. 100s resumes. Got one call back. And finally got one job.
In the end. It works out. I got a reasonably fair career. strong enough to afford private for all kids and live comfortable.
Ur kid will do the same at a minimum. I suspect he will go much much higher
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I have an older child in a day prep school who is only a year older than your son. He got in on the first try but one of his friends had to try twice. Now many of them are applying onward and upward to other prep schools. Some get in on the first try, second try, or never. It never ends, this chase for the most prestigious, the most elite, etc. Youâll drive yourself and your child crazy if you play this game too much.
Why do you want him to go to this school if he is doing so well in public? Are you looking for more of a challenge for him? Is he unhappy where he is? It certainly doesnât sound like you need to âask himâ for anything else. Is he happy doing all of his activities where he is now?
He didnât fail you unless you choose to look at it that way and tell him so.
I always let my child drive the process. He has zero interest in applying out of his current day school so we havenât even tried, but he often brings up his friends doing it. Some of them talk to him about it a lot, I think because they know he isnât actively interviewing. I confirm that heâs still getting an excellent education, which he is, so I donât worry or feel the need to try anything new.
I donât know where you live in Mass, but I will share that we almost moved up there for work in Boston a few years ago. It got very close before we decided against it. I had decided to send him to public in a great community there because I was so impressed with the public schools in that district.
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