<p>Needs more personality/anecdotes imo</p>
<p>I agree...and this is the kind of essay which would be best told very simply, without "smart" sounding words...try to make it flow, and show - don't just tell.</p>
<p>Needs more personality/anecdotes imo</p>
<p>I agree...and this is the kind of essay which would be best told very simply, without "smart" sounding words...try to make it flow, and show - don't just tell.</p>