That is great GMT but that is not what OP’s adults were focused on. Which is not shocking given income is reported as $500k. I think when that is the focus it has to be explained to the student early on. Different people have different goals. Merit Money is not always the best deal when there is more than one in college especially if the students are of different abilities. Not relevant to the OP.
The ivies or most of them, not too sure about Brown, give much better financial aid to sub $150k families in most cases. You are much more likely to get a significant package at Harvard than you are at UMichigan OOS or URochester. For the family in the $150k bracket, Harvard would be about the same as attending Tulane on a Presidential Scholarship ($32K).