I’m curious if those whose kids are at least a few years past graduating from college with MT training would try to sum up what has mattered the most to your kids about where they went to college given the perspective of some time passing. Mine is only a few months past college and I’m already starting to form thoughts, but I suspect those may change after a few more years.
Any thoughts from those with older kids (either still working in theatre or not)?
Oooh - yes please! Great idea for a thread @MomCares !
Funny you should start this MomCares, I was thinking about exactly this last night! My daughter graduated from Northwestern just over two years ago (not the five you suggested but I doubt they’d still be on here unless they have another kid, which is why I’m still on here) and it’s been quite a journey. She had a bit of success her first year out, performing in musicals off-Bwy, some readings, a few online productions, etc. She also became very involved with NY Improv, continuing her involvement from Chicago. By the end of her first year out she realized she hated almost everything about the acting profession. Everything from the people, the attitudes, many of the scripts, the subservient behavior necessary by most, and the overall lack of intelligence that she found. She also really disliked not have a daily schedule and routine, she sort of had developed one for herself but it wasn’t “real.” She used to say she wanted a lunch hour. She was always one of those over scheduled kid and loved it but couldn’t make that happen professionally - lots of waiting and boredom often followed by a bit of crazy busy.
She came home one weekend and told us she was going back to school, Columbia, to take classes to pursue an advanced degree in Astrophysics. She had given up so much in her life for acting, now she wanted to live and do more “typical” things. She’s done this for a year and absolutely LOVES it, more than I’ve ever seen her love anything with acting. She feels she still needs two more years for a total of three in order to apply for Graduate programs, and will begin working on some research projects for professors in January. She realized this was the only summer that she would be able to travel, so many of her friend either studied abroad (which NU strongly discourages for MT kids) or in the summers (when she was doing summer stock or working in some other acting capacity) so she has traveled most of Europe and right now is in China, hiking the Great Wall. She continues with her Improv groups and one of her teams has won competitions throughout the city, gaining some notoriety.
That’s a quick rundown of where she’s at right now. Since she turned Yale down, the big question we asked last summer was, are you sorry you went to NU instead of Yale? “Absolutely not!” was her reply. Other than the friends she made the two biggest things she got from Northwestern? The first is more Chicago since she had nothing to do with the Improv teams on campus but Northwestern did allow her access to Chicago and the professional Improv world there. The second - Big 10 Football! I’m not kidding, she’s only looking at Graduate programs with big football teams. Fortunately, many of the best Astrophysics PhD programs are at big football schools. Every weekend during the college football season she meets up with many of her NU friends, both theatre and non-theatre, often at her apartment to watch the game on her big screen tv.
Not sure this is the answer you were looking for MomCares, but this is the two plus year recap. She loved Chicago, Improv, friends, and college football.
Love this thread , hope others post their child’s experience after graduating! Even 2 yrs out this is so enlightening. I am curious @amtc if you ever saw hints of that coming so to speak with her total turn around onto something else?
I’m interested in this, too, although I think that amtc is right that most people will not be on this board five years after graduation. Too bad there’s no PCC (post-college confidential).
My older D is a dancer not MT but the experiences and jobs are pretty much the same( she will be in West Side Story this Fall). I must agree with @amtc the no schedule thing is what is getting to her also. It is difficult to maintain a schedule with training(voice lessons,gym,yoga, dance classes etc…) auditioning, odd gigs,regular work etc… Fitting it all in makes for marathon days often, especially living in Manhattan where the temp is run, run, run. LA is a different vibe, a little less pressure do it all in one day. But the lure of a “real” job becomes enticing, especially in-between gigs.
Love this thread. Keep it coming.
@Joyfulmama - any thoughts about what matters most about her college (or not-college if she didn’t go) days now that they are a bit behind her? Which aspects of those years does she now most value, and which does she wish had been different?
If hindsight is 20/20, I’d love to know what those looking back can see!
@amtc - Thanks for sharing! I take 4 key things from your D’s story. 1) Friends - many studies say peers shape our lives more than any other aspect, and certainly the types of friends you’ll make can vary widely at different colleges. 2) Contacts - the professional contacts made at some schools are invaluable, particularly in the first few years after college. 3) Outside interests - college is a great time to develop a broad array of outside lifelong interests and hobbies, which may be especially important with MT kids, since realistically a high % of them may not be performers 10 years from now. 4) Debt - your D couldn’t switch directions as easily if she graduated with a lot of student debt.
Thanks to all who are sharing. I know there are more old-timers who visit at least occassionally. If you know some, encourage them to share. @soozievt, @alwaysamom, etc…
PART ONE:
OK, well, I’ll contribute. True, I’ve been on CC a LONG time…13 years, and so I guess I am an “old-timer,” but not as long as @alwaysamom. I’ve stayed due to my interest in the topics discussed, since I am an independent college counselor, but also because there are a LOT of old-timers that still participate on CC on some of the other forums like the Parent Cafe, whom I have gotten to know over the years.
The only thing is, while this is a great topic, the prompt is “try to sum up what has mattered the most to your kids about where they went to college given the perspective of some time passing,” and it is hard for me to speak to what my 26 year old daughter thinks mattered the most about having attended her college now that she has been out for 6 years (NYU/Tisch, class of 2009). So, I’m just going to have to infer it, and think she could answer better than I can.
In my D’s case, she had dreamt of going to NYU since she was 12 years old. That said, when she did apply to college, she definitely broadened her search and we visited all 8 of her schools, though NYU was still a favorite. So, for starters, she went to a school she REALLY wanted to attend. And it did not disappoint. I don’t believe NYU is the best school, but it really fit my kid well and I think she took full advantage of the opportunities there. It helps when a school fits what you wanted in a college to begin with and this is true in her case.
My daughter liked the mix of demanding studio training with taking some academics. She enjoyed both. In studio, she was happy with her training in CAP21 (the MT studio at Tisch at the time) and learned a lot. It was well balanced between voice, acting, and dance. I think she liked that there were plenty of students in the program so that she could pick and choose her core group of friends. I think if she had to spend most of four years with just 10 people, she may not have liked that as much. Another thing about her program was the flexibility. She wouldn’t have known or predicted this when she began college, but after 5 semesters, she switched into the Experimental Theater Wing studio for 3 semesters. She felt she had gotten everything she could out of the MT training in CAP21 and she liked what she was seeing of the kids who were in ETW studio. Also, CAP21 is a lock step curriculum but the upper (advanced) studio years at ETW involve choosing the classes within the studio training and she liked that. She still was involved in singing, dance, and acting. But she also wanted more acting training in an acting studio because she came into college with the least training in that area and had already a lot of voice and dance and then 5 semesters of that in the MT studio. Another thing was that in senior year at ETW, you can do a big independent project and she wanted to try her hand at creating an original musical and being in it before she graduated and that would not have been possible in CAP21. Frankly, that one experience alone has led to SO much more post-graduation! The musical she created in senior year led to a theater literary agent and commissions to write musicals for theaters, and that first musical was also produced in NYC, among other things.
Another huge thing for my D in college was being in a coed a cappella group all four years. Not only did she participate, but she was the musical director and wrote original arrangements, in addition to performing. This group competed and the group (as well as herself) won many awards. But most of all, there was a deep friendship bond formed with this group and to this day, some of her best friends are from her a cappella group and she performs and works in various capacities with many of them professionally (and frankly, many of them have achieved to the highest levels in music and theater…a huge talented group). My D is even going all the way to India for one of the past member’s wedding later this year! I’m not saying that a cappella is crucial to the college experience, but I do think belonging to a small group of some kind in college has benefits. In this case, besides the friendships formed, she learned a great deal about song arrangements and harmonies and so forth, that she utilizes in her career currently.
While she did summer stock the first college summer, she chose to work in NYC the rest of her college summers and worked on a show she was paid to perform in, help write, and musically direct, called NYU Reality Show. I think she learned a great deal in that experience that has carried over to her professional life today. She also was in various productions in college and I think some of these involved risk taking which is a good thing. She also worked on student productions, and the level of organizing and directing and everything like that was good to experience as part of learning before you hit the real world.
Another big aspect of college was being in NYC. I do NOT believe that one NEEDS to be in NYC for college. NYU was the only school my D applied to that was in or near NYC, in fact. However, since she did attend college in NYC, there were some benefits that came with it. She certainly has seen and continues to see a TON of theater at all levels. She also grew familiar and comfortable with living in NYC and loves it (she has never left living there since arriving at age 16!!). Of course, anyone can acclimate themselves once they arrive post graduation. My D did not need to do that as a new graduate, as she already lived there and was well ensconced there by the time she graduated college. She was already performing in venues off campus before graduating too. My D was obsessed with NYC as a kid and let me just mention that it is the most opposite extreme to where she grew up…on a dirt road in the mountains in rural Vermont where you cannot walk to anything and there is no public transportation and the town’s population is 1700!
Another thing about college is the network of PEERS with whom you attend. This is a big part of what mattered about her experience at NYU, if you ask me (and you did, ha ha). She met and befriended a huge number of peers at Tisch both in and out of MT. The number of talented kids she met was great and they are involved in all different aspects of the theater or performing arts world and so they tend to connect professionally once out of college, hire one another, refer one another, collaborate, etc. I would say that a large percentage of my D’s current friends and professional peers are fellow Tisch alum.
A big thing that I think also mattered about having attended NYU is the networking with professionals both affiliated with her school and outside the school. The faculty are working professionals. Even while in college and shortly afterward, these faculty members have hired my D in various performing arts capacities. But during her four years of college and particularly in her six years out of college, she has met a slew of professionals in the field, including numerous very famous ones and even calls some of them her friends these days. Maybe some of that is due to the school she attended and maybe some of it to the fact that she was involved in NYC from the start, or just one thing has led to another and so this professional network keeps building and building (again, that happens even with kids who go to school outside of NYC of course).
Certainly, my D came out of college more learned, more worldly, more talented, more mature, and with many new and developed skills and a lot of experiences. She did participate in a MT showcase and did sign an agent but has a different agent now for talent. I think when she graduated, she was ready to tackle the real world and had already dipped her toes into it while in college.
While she did not go to college for this, she also met her fiancé in college. 
TO BE CONTINUED…
PART TWO: (CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS POST)…
Since graduating, she has fully supported herself in NYC completely in the music and theater fields. In the first few years, she had survival jobs in addition but those were ALL in theater and music too (such as teaching and musically directing, etc). She no longer takes those jobs as she doesn’t have time. She doesn’t audition often (but she does audition) and does not attend any open calls, and just does agent submitted appointments. Sometimes productions or casting directors simply contact her to come in. But she has not put all her eggs in the performing in musicals basket (but surely loves that and is in them regularly!). I think her career is taking off but it does take time to build up and so don’t expect it all to happen the first year or two out or sum it all up based on what you have achieved or not right away.
My daughter has a three prong career. Honestly, any one of these prongs could be a full time “job” and so her life is very busy as all three are going on simultaneously. But if she is not cast in a show for a few months, she has plenty of other work going on! She performs in musicals, mostly in NYC, but has been in some signifiant regional theaters in the country. She has been in Off Broadway shows and has more coming up next season. She’s come very close on some major roles and that can be affirming that one is in the ballpark. Another career she has is as a singer-songwriter that is not MT but more like pop/rock/folk/soul/jazz music. She performs regularly at venues in concert in NYC and in some other cities too, all original music and has a band. She even had her own concert at Lincoln Center. She is about to go into the studio to record her next full length CD of original songs. She also performs regularly on stage with other singer/songwriters and in MT cabarets and/or benefits, with some very well known artists, and so even if not in a regular musical at some points, she is regularly performing on stage in NYC in some fashion. She has a music studio room in her apartment. Her third occupation is writer/composer/lyricist of original musicals. This was not something she trained to do or expected to do necessarily when in college. She created that one original musical in college and didn’t plan to do more but that one musical led to a lot more…commissions to write musicals for theaters, write songs for Disney and Sesame Street, and she has won some significant awards and fellowships in this area. She has been selected to attend numerous retreats and is at one this week right now. Her network in this area is vast. She is beginning a fresh new musical this week. She has been asked to write all the songs for a major thing in NYC next year (and perform a part in the show) that I can’t mention, and in fact, she also wrote all the songs in the Off Broadway show she will be in next season too. This wasn’t predicted when she went to college, though she has always been a creative type of person, but I think many seeds were planted in the projects she was involved in at college and so it is not shocking she would be doing any of this, even though she wasn’t trained as a composer/lyricist or songwriter.
Who knows where things will be a year from now, but so far so good. She is happy doing the things she loves to do and truly loved her college experience and that is all that matters, and not the name of your school. If you love attending your college and get a lot of out of it, then that is all very positive. If you can make a career of your passion, even better. My D is not rich, but she is doing just fine and she is doing exactly what she wants to be doing. It is not a life for everyone. There is not one constant ongoing job. You don’t always know what will be next. In fact, there are even conflicts that arise and my D has turned down two significant opportunities this coming year. In any case, I believe that a degree in MT is a good thing whether or not you end up with a career in the field or not. My D does have a career in the field and is not leaving it. But I do think the fact that she has a varied skill set and is not just waiting to be cast and is involved in more than one facet of theater and music and performing, that she is able to stay busy and to work and earn her living in the field and not having to look outside of it.
@soozievt - Thanks for sharing your D’s always-inspiring story! I take some similar things from her story. 1) Friends - it seems she’s especially valued the large group of friends who have stayed in NYC (fiance is a nice fringe benefit!), and has stayed especially close to her a cappella group, which I can imagine being true for our D as well. 2) Contacts - sounds like she’d say proximity to NYC has helped here as well. 3) Outside interests - it sounds like her ability to hone skills in writing and composing have really paid big dividends post-college in ways that a more restricted MT curriculum might not have. 4) Debt - it doesn’t sound like your D was constrained by big post-college debts she needed to repay. Hearing both you and @amtc makes another thing jump out… 5) Roots in the market where college is located.
I don’t mean to start a fight…but are we all really going to let the comment “overall lack of intelligence” slip by? I know tons of these kids are in highly academic programs, honor colleges, came in with amazing SAT scores etc. Not sure who amtc’s kid is hanging out with but I have found that the theater world is filled with highly intelligent, gifted people. wow…
@MomCares …thanks. Just to clarify, while my D has no constraints of post-college debts, I do!
By the way, @bisouu , I think my D’s peers in the professional theater world and from college include some highly intelligent people which I think accounts for some of their professional success beyond mere talent. Beyond that, she herself is a high academic and intelligent achiever who could have applied to some very selective colleges outside of MT but only wanted a BFA in MT degree. She is not unique in that way! So, I agree with you on that.
@amtc, I’m assuming your post was well-intentioned and your goal was to show what CAN happen with these starry-eyed kids after being exposed to the real world after graduation, and yes, there are really really AWFUL aspects of this business, but since most of our kids are actors, you may want to re-word your message. ^#(^
It’s funny, but my experience parallelled @amtc’s D in many respects (I lasted 10 years in pro theate) EXCEPT one of the things I missed most when I changed careers from Theatre to Engineering was that I felt the theatre folks I knew were overall MORE intelligent than most of the engineers I worked with.
One thing I expect very few people with older MT kids will say mattered most 5 years after college was how they were cast in high school OR college. 
Two exceptions that come to mnd are one actress who said she learned to tap because she was cast as an ensemble member in a student-directed college show that required it, which got her through the audition that landed her first national tour, and our D whose first professional contract in college came through a director she’d done a college show with.
I think one would find in musical theatre like any profession including engineering, astrophysics, teaching, plumbing, one’s happiness and enchantment with the profession is directly proportional to the meaningful work that one is fortunate to secure. Absent that, it gets old.
^^^I’m gearing up to be grumpy about it too but hope to be pleasantly surprised.
I’m certain that’s often the case, but am not sure that’s been my experience. I consistently landed fantastic work in theatre, but didn’t want the lifestyle over the long haul. Auditioning and performing 8x a week may be exciting when you’re young, but as an older person was not something I wanted. And many successful female actors tire of endlessly playing the roles commonly written for females (keep writing, @soozievt’s D!!), while others tire of being chronically underpaid (often even relative too male coworkers).
I also held terrific jobs as an engineer and engineering manager but honestly never loved it.
So maybe I was just destined for the glamorous life of a stay-at-home mom?