69 things I learned first semester freshman year at Michigan

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Michigan
1

<p>As I procrastinate going to sleep tonight/studying for my insanely late final on Thursday, I decided to compile a list of things I learned this semester at Michigan. This list includes absolutely nothing I learned in class and generally would probably apply to most people that go here. This list has no regard for political correctness and tells it like it is. So hopefully you enjoy. Here are the top 69 things I learned in my first semester in Ann Arbor (this is a very comprehensive list):</p>

<ol>
<li><p>The honeybadger doesn’t give a s*t.</p></li>
<li><p>Calc 1 here is remarkably similar to the honeybadger. The average for the final was 49%.</p></li>
<li><p>Pledge a fraternity or sorority if you have a social fiber in your body. I don’t know if you’d regret being a geed (GDI…Gamma Delta Iota…God Damn Independent), but you certainly won’t know what you’re missing. You’re VERY limited party wise in Ann Arbor as a freshman and sophomore if you’re not in Greek life.</p></li>
<li><p>For the love of god live on central campus. Join any learning community you can to assure yourself a bed on the real campus cause trust me, you don’t want to live up in the bur-lodge or baits. They suck. You can’t go home all day long and the busses don’t start running till 8:45 on the weekends. That means all my north campus friends missed a solid hour of every football tailgate.</p></li>
<li><p>On that note, honors sucks, but its worth it to live in south quad cause squad is the st. The reason honors sucks is because of great books.</p></li>
<li><p>Honors did not suck for anyone that made the correct decision to take classic civ instead of great books. Do honors and take classic civ, no matter what the peer advisors at orientation tell you (I swear they must have been paid off). You get to live in squad with no repercussions. </p></li>
<li><p>Half of the incoming freshman class is pre-med. The other half is applying to Ross. There are no other choices at the start of the year.</p></li>
<li><p>After half the school fails their first orgo, econ, or calc midterm, freshman tend to start exploring other options.</p></li>
<li><p>The ugli sucks at 5 am.</p></li>
<li><p>The ugli sucks in general, trust me you will learn to hate it.</p></li>
<li><p>So does the study lounge in whatever dorm you end up in.</p></li>
<li><p>On the topic of things that suck, fall break in Ann Arbor sucks. Nobody stays (except me) and you have no fun. Go home for fall break.</p></li>
<li><p>Dress nice to go to the ref room (main study room in the grad library). Nobody talks in there but it’s definitely the place to make a fashion statement. You think I’m kidding but you just wait, you’ll be embarrassed the first time you walk in there in sweatpants.</p></li>
<li><p>Btw you won’t have a social lounge on your floor because it will be filled with “overflow housing” which is actually four lucky bastards on your floor that get to live in a huge ass room. Don’t freak out if it takes a while for you to hear about housing this summer cause you might well be one of these people. Be happy if you get overflow housing. Very happy.</p></li>
<li><p>Dennison is a soul-sucking stack of classrooms that will take your GPA and not give it back.</p></li>
<li><p>Note at this point in the list: keep reading…most things in Ann Arbor actually don’t suck.</p></li>
<li><p>There is never a dull moment in this town…except over fall break and finals week.</p></li>
<li><p>Your English grade = your GSI’s mood/ability to speak English.</p></li>
<li><p>CVS doesn’t actually carry anything you need when you need it. But the liquor store on state has fking everything. Seriously though.</p></li>
<li><p>Half the school lives in Westchester. If you don’t know where that is now, don’t worry, you will. Shoutout to the pursuit of jappiness.</p></li>
<li><p>Blue bucks will disappear faster than your chances of getting into med school.</p></li>
<li><p>University dining has one special “theme” meal a month and then its all downhill from there. Seriously thanksgiving dinner in squad was fking fantastic and now I literally can’t
get myself to swipe into that place.</p></li>
<li><p>Panchero’s is better than Chipotle. If you don’t agree with me than you’re wrong.</p></li>
<li><p>The amount of fks one can learn not to give at this place is astonishing.</p></li>
<li><p>Michigan vs. Notre Dame 2011 was the best football game to ever happen.</p></li>
<li><p>Check that, Michigan vs. Ohio State 2011 was definitely the best football game to ever happen.</p></li>
<li><p>On third thought, after conducting a rational analysis on the pros and cons of each game, I have made the decision that the Michigan vs. Notre Dame 2011 game was, undoubtedly, the best football game to ever happen.</p></li>
<li><p>If you don’t get season football tickets you suck.</p></li>
<li><p>If you’re already a fat, lazy, dirty alcoholic afflicted with insomnia, you won’t gain the freshman 15. If you do not consider yourself to be that already, hit the gym at least once a week.</p></li>
<li><p>You’re never gonna check your mailbox. But that’s ok cause you won’t get any mail.</p></li>
<li><p>You probably don’t know the world of touring dj’s and dubstep yet, but you will… ohhhh you will.</p></li>
<li><p>If you don’t use ratemyprofessor you will die.</p></li>
<li><p>Schedulizer.com. Write it down now and thank me later.</p></li>
<li><p>Just accept that at least one of your GSI’s won’t speak English. Pro tip: find another section that meets at the same time that has an American GSI and just go to that one. Nobody actually cares (see thing learned number 24).</p></li>
<li><p>Accept that you will simply shift your sleep schedule back 2-3 hours. So if you were comfortable waking up at 7 during the school year in high school, at Michigan you will be comfortable waking up at 9 or 10. And consistently going to bed at midnight easily turns into consistently going to bed at 2. Adjust schedule accordingly.</p></li>
<li><p>8:30 am class is the biggest freshman mistake at this school. Especially on a Friday.</p></li>
<li><p>Pizza House is open till 4, but don’t go there cause it costs way too much. Here is the
drunk pizza guide to Ann Arbor:</p></li>
<li><p>Back Room Pizza: Also open till 4 I think and right across the street from Pizza House. Barely qualifies as pizza but at a price of $1.25 a slice it tastes like heaven when you’re drunk.</p></li>
<li><p>South U Pizza: I think it tastes as good as pizza house and it’s 2 bucks a slice. Good enough for me to even consider grabbing it for lunch when I’m in the area. Long lines around 2-3 am though, so when you’re drunk and really anything will do you’re probably better off walking another block up to back room. Open till 3 or 4.</p></li>
<li><p>Pizza Bob’s: Pretty good pizza, average price. Sometimes they decide not to sell by the slice though which is really annoying. Also closes ridiculously early, something like 1 am. So unless you’re turning it in early for the night you may not get the chance. When PBob’s closes you head down to…</p></li>
<li><p>Bell’s Pizza: Like a block and a half south of PBob’s, slightly less good and slightly more expensive, but open way later. I think it’s till 4. So after PBob’s closes you really have no other option if you’re on state street for pizza.</p></li>
<li><p>Other places for late night food (burrito places, I think they’re both open till 3):</p></li>
<li><p>BTB: Classic A2 joint. Right next to PBob’s so it’s another option after that closes.
Pretty good burrito’s I guess.</p></li>
<li><p>Panchero’s: Go here a lot. It’s unbelievable, I seriously crave this place all the time. Panch is probably my favorite student friendly restaurant here, it’s actually realllllly good.</p></li>
<li><p>Now leaving the topic of food…DPS thinks they’re the NYPD. It’s really annoying but it’s easy to work around them if you’re smart.</p></li>
<li><p>DPS is essentially the drinking police. You should get plenty of drinking in first semester freshman year cause you’ll never have this much free time again. I was able to go out 3-4 times a week and still pull a 3.8 this semester. It’s not at all impossible, it’s all about managing your time.</p></li>
<li><p>Denard is god even though he can’t throw half the time. Just love him unconditionally.</p></li>
<li><p>Make sure you transfer all your AP credits right away. You don’t think it matters if you get those to admissions now or later, so you wait, but then you don’t get into any classes you want cause of your late ass registration date for second semester. Send em in, you want to register early as a freshman cause it’s a bloodbath.</p></li>
<li><p>Go to the earliest orientation you can because, again, registration kinda sucks. If they are holding classes you want for later dates just ask someone if they can give you the dates more spots will open up. They know them and if they give them to you it’s really easy to get into whatever class you need.</p></li>
<li><p>You’re gonna want a fake. Just trust me, get one before you come if you can cause it’s just better to have one. Places that accept fake ID’s:</p></li>
<li><p>Campus Corner. It’s real easy there, they give me the gentleman’s nod all the time and I don’t look any older than what I am, which is 18. Seriously my fake really sucks, I got it for free passed down from an older guy in my fraternity, but campus definitely is similar to the honeybadger when it comes to fakes.</p></li>
<li><p>Skeeps on Tuesdays: Don’t have early Wednesday classes? Go to skeeps (Scorekeeper’s bar and grill) on Tuesday nights. It’s a blast and they’ll take any piece of plastic that says you’re 21. It’s definitely harder there on other nights but Tuesdays is a shoe in and everyone knows it, which makes it great. The joke is you stop going to skeeps when you turn 21.</p></li>
<li><p>Rick’s: Rick’s is actually a little tougher, but a good fake should do the trick and even if you don’t get in they will definitely give it back to you. Rick’s is a little better than skeeps probably but definitely has a slightly older clientele. Mostly juniors and seniors whereas skeeps is mostly freshman, sophomores, and juniors.</p></li>
<li><p>Keep your door open in your dorm and make an effort to meet as many people, both in and out of your immediate hall, as you can. It’s seriously so easy to meet people here and it’s nobody’s fault but your own if you’re not making friends.</p></li>
<li><p>The bathrooms in the dorms are cleaned at the most infuriating times and you will have to pee literally every time they decide to clean them. At Michigan you need a key to get into the bathroom and you can only get into the one closest to you and one other one so figure out where that other one is.</p></li>
<li><p>Care packages are the best. If my parents didn’t send them so consistently I’d consider sending them to myself.</p></li>
<li><p>Online shopping is the absolute st, trust me you don’t want to always make the trip to the one place in A2 that sells that one random thing you’re gonna need next week. Amazon is the king of online shopping, they have everything and you can get free 2 day shipping with a .edu email address for a full year. So use that.</p></li>
<li><p>Get the 125 meal plan. I touched on meals a little earlier but by the end of the semester you’re just not gonna want to hit the dining hall and the 125 plan gives you 300 dining dollars which are actually the greatest. You can get smoothies with them before class, enough said.</p></li>
<li><p>Keep protein bars in your room. Not cause you want to get ripped or anything but cause it’s literally impossible to eat healthy on the university dining plan and those fill you up very well and are a somewhat healthy snack.</p></li>
<li><p>Go to class. You’re fked if you don’t. Plenty of people say it doesn’t matter if you go or not and then they get their first semester grades back.</p></li>
<li><p>Everything is free during welcome week so don’t pay for anything. Seriously I bet you could find free food every night.</p></li>
<li><p>Clubs kinda suck. Yeah there’s a ton of them but most of them aren’t that organized and it’s tough to get all that involved with them. Sure there are a few good ones but I would try to stick to club sports and greek life as you will get a ton out of both and meet far more people.</p></li>
<li><p>UROP SUCKS!!!!! Yes you get research experience but the bi-weekly seminars will literally make you suicidal. It’s the biggest waste of time anyone’s ever come up with and the homework is very inconvenient. Just search out projects on your own if you’re interested in research, professors don’t actually care if they have a UROP student or not.</p></li>
<li><p>Write s*t down somewhere. For me it wasn’t a planner, I just had my two most urgent things at any point written on 1. a whiteboard in my room and 2. the personal banner on my phone. If you’re always working on one of the two most urgent things in your life you will survive.</p></li>
<li><p>Laundry is not urgent. You’d be surprised at how long you can milk clothes for.</p></li>
<li><p>The NFL is also not urgent. College football is all you need and Sundays are for homework in college.</p></li>
<li><p>Try and get a four-day a week schedule. If you have 5 days of classes you will undoubtedly not care about one of those days and it will just make you mad.</p></li>
<li><p>You gotta bring your laptop plug in adaptor thing everywhere cause the thing’s always
gonna run out of battery. A laptop is completely necessary.</p></li>
<li><p>I feel it’s appropriate to end the list here. Stock up on free condoms. I had a blast first semester and hopefully this list helps make it better for all you freshmen next year. Go Blue!</p></li>
</ol>

2

<p>I am glad to see not much has changed in 20 years! Great list.</p>

3

<p>23, 27, 32, 33, 35 are by far the MOST true on this list. Also I’m assuming the list creator lives in Markley based off the smoothie comment.</p>

<p>Seriously though, 35 is SO true. I’ve met so many people that are like “well I wake up at 6 for high school so I can handle 8am classes.” NO NO NO, I’m still kicking myself for the one 9am class I had. Next semester my schedule starts at 1pm because I stay up till 4 every night no matter when my class starts the next morning.</p>

<p>Pancheros is about 30x better than Chipotle, and at the exact same price. </p>

<p>I must add, </p>

<ol>
<li><p>If you want an extremely cheap snack between classes go to Five Guys. You pay $2.39 for a medium fry and free cup and they give you a boatload of delicious fries that is easily big enough to count as a meal within itself.</p></li>
<li><p>Jimmy Johns is more busy at 2am on Friday nights than any other time of the week. Also there is a phenomenon known as day old bread that’s sold there. Day old bread only costs $0.49, you get an entire 8 inch loaf of bread, and it is the BEST drunk food that exists anywhere.</p></li>
</ol>

4

<p>Great list. I agree with #3. Greek life is way bigger here than I realized, so I’ll be pledging during winter.</p>

5

<p>Enjoy your stint in rehab.</p>

6

<p>^Oh the concerned parents. Yes freshmen you will deal with them too, not to worry though because as long as you can pull yourself together by noonish after a night out you’ll be fine. At the end of the day I got a good GPA this semester, met a lot of people, and had a lot of fun without becoming an alcoholic. What more could you really ask for?</p>

7

<p>@ #8: Cmon, every (engineer) knows that econ is a joke.</p>

8

<p>As a sophomore, I want to commend you on your list. It is extraordinarily accurate, and made me chuckle while reading it. Seems like you really know what it means to be a wolverine. =P</p>

9

<p>I really enjoyed reading your list, and getting a glimpse into the experiences of the current UM undergrad. It made me think about the things that had changed from my own experience as an LSA grad in '78, and the many things that had not. Here are my notes on some of the items in your list (they were bold in my word document, but the bold doesn’t show up here)–fire up the time machine!: </p>

<ol>
<li><p>The honeybadger doesn’t give a s**t.<br>
Honeybadger hasn’t changed a bit.</p>

<ol>
<li>Calc 1 here is remarkably similar to the honeybadger. The average for the final was 49%.<br>
Took “Math for Life Scientists”—calc with real-world applications = easier to understand.</li>
<li>Pledge a fraternity or sorority if you have a social fiber in your body. I don’t know if you’d regret being a geed (GDI…Gamma Delta Iota…God Damn Independent), but you certainly won’t know what you’re missing. You’re VERY limited party wise in Ann Arbor as a freshman and sophomore if you’re not in Greek life.<br>
Knew very few people in Greek life back then—it was much less popular in the “counter-culture” days. We had rockin’ house parties back in the day.</li>
<li>For the love of god live on central campus. Join any learning community you can to assure yourself a bed on the real campus cause trust me, you don’t want to live up in the bur-lodge or baits. They suck. You can’t go home all day long and the busses don’t start running till 8:45 on the weekends. That means all my north campus friends missed a solid hour of every football tailgate.<br>
Agree with this point. Bursley sucked in the late 70s, too. After the first semester, I pretty much hung out at my boyfriend’s apartment—across from Pizza Bobs. Tailgates start early in the morning??</li>
<li>Half of the incoming freshman class is pre-med. The other half is applying to Ross. There are no other choices at the start of the year.<br>
In my era, half were pre-med, half were pre-law—very few in business (again, “counter-culture” related). I was in the pre-med half, and later switched to aquatic ecology, etc. Ended up a Microbiology major.</li>
<li>The ugli sucks in general, trust me you will learn to hate it.<br>
Agreed, although we got to like the 3rd floor Engineering Library—more room, and opportunity to make jokes about the “Wang room.”</li>
<li>So does the study lounge in whatever dorm you end up in.<br>
Our favorite places to study were the rooms in the League. Largely undiscovered, and had a nice gift shop/snack bar on the main floor.</li>
<li>Dress nice to go to the ref room (main study room in the grad library). Nobody talks in there but it’s definitely the place to make a fashion statement. You think I’m kidding but you just wait, you’ll be embarrassed the first time you walk in there in sweatpants. Seriously?? Fashion statement?</li>
<li>Half the school lives in Westchester. If you don’t know where that is now, don’t worry, you will. Shoutout to the pursuit of jappiness.<br>
True back then, too.</li>
<li>Michigan vs. Notre Dame 2011 was the best football game to ever happen. Witnessed the Bo and Rick Leach era—nuff said.</li>
<li>If you don’t get season football tickets you suck.<br>
We used to camp out for 2-3 days (taking turns holding the spot) to get better assigned seats; they were better each year, and senior year they were near the 40-yard line. Don’t think that’s still the case (are they still assigned?).</li>
<li>Just accept that at least one of your GSI’s won’t speak English. Pro tip: find another section that meets at the same time that has an American GSI and just go to that one. Nobody actually cares (see thing learned number 24).<br>
Now you tell me! Organic chemistry “TA” (as we called them) was unintelligible.</li>
<li>Accept that you will simply shift your sleep schedule back 2-3 hours. So if you were comfortable waking up at 7 during the school year in high school, at Michigan you will be comfortable waking up at 9 or 10. And consistently going to bed at midnight easily turns into consistently going to bed at 2. Adjust schedule accordingly.<br>
Would have been impossible for me—many 8-9am lectures, to make room for afternoon science labs; very jealous of my liberal arts friends.</li>
<li>Pizza Bob’s: Pretty good pizza, average price. Sometimes they decide not to sell by the slice though which is really annoying. Also closes ridiculously early, something like 1 am. So unless you’re turning it in early for the night you may not get the chance. When PBob’s closes you head down to…<br>
Glad to see PB’s is still in existence!</li>
<li>DPS is essentially the drinking police. You should get plenty of drinking in first semester freshman year cause you’ll never have this much free time again. I was able to go out 3-4 times a week and still pull a 3.8 this semester. It’s not at all impossible, it’s all about managing your time.<br>
Drinking age was 18. Not a problem. No “fakes” needed.</li>
<li>Denard is god even though he can’t throw half the time. Just love him unconditionally.<br>
Love Denard!!</li>
<li>Keep your door open in your dorm and make an effort to meet as many people, both in and out of your immediate hall, as you can. It’s seriously so easy to meet people here and it’s nobody’s fault but your own if you’re not making friends.<br>
Made friends on my Bursley dorm floor that I still keep in touch with today.</li>
<li>Go to class. You’re fked if you don’t. Plenty of people say it doesn’t matter if you go or not and then they get their first semester grades back.<br>
A timeless truth!</li>
<li>Write st down somewhere. For me it wasn’t a planner, I just had my two most urgent things at any point written on 1. a whiteboard in my room and 2. the personal banner on my phone. If you’re always working on one of the two most urgent things in your life you will survive.<br>
Also true—I had a planner book that was a key to my academic survival.</li>
<li>You gotta bring your laptop plug in adaptor thing everywhere cause the thing’s always gonna run out of battery. A laptop is completely necessary.<br>
What’s a laptop? Did entire undergrad degree with no computer whatsoever—imagine that!</li>
</ol></li>
</ol>

<p>Go Blue!!!</p>

10

<p>Idk what you’re talking about, fall break was a hell of a time. Just have to know the right people, parties did exist, although small they were crazy. </p>

<h1>71 - free time no longer exists</h1>

11

<p>Not going to lie, the person behind this list know what they’re talking about. And, yes, you know what it means to be a true wolverine. </p>

<p>However, I have to disagree with a one “fact” you learned. </p>

<p>Half the freshman class isn’t pre-med with the other half trying to get into ROSS, if that were true I’d be the only engineer registered for the class of 2015, LOL.</p>

12

<p>I don’t think he meant it literally, but to me it seems like everyone you meet is trying to get into Ross or is an engineer.</p>

13

<p>Engineers are 20% of the student body, as are pre-Ross Freshmen. Altogether, fewer than 25% of undergrads belong to those two groups.</p>

14

<p>I’m assuming those statistics are referencing Ross pre-admits, not those freshman who are planning on applying to Ross in the winter. Still, numbers are misleading. I think also something like 18% of guys are in Greek life. At the same time, almost everyone I know joined a frat.</p>

15

<p>Okay obviously not half the freshman class is actually trying to get into ross but not half the school is actually from Westchester either. And you barely even meet the engineers cause they study so much. Plus I’m in honors housing in squad so no engineers live with me.</p>

16

<p>Your future just might be in writing comedy. Lots of well known comedy has midwestern roots starting with Second City.</p>

17

<p>this is incredible. go blue.</p>

18

<p>You have a lot of time on your hands, but thanks, and beat VT</p>

19

<p>this deserves to be bumped</p>

20

<p>By the way if you’re interested, this is a pretty solid representation of football saturday in Ann Arbor: [I&#39;m&lt;/a&gt; Shmacked The Movie : Trailer #5 - University of Michigan - YouTube](<a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube)</p>