90 percent of parents choose their kids' colleges on the web

Parent Cafe
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<p>Kids with parents that can help are lucky :frowning: I have had to do everything by myself since I was little since my parents don’t really speak english. I guess I can’t really complain since a lot of other kids probably have to do this too, but I wish I didn’t have to fill out FAFSA froms out by myself, write all the “parent” essays, etc. No one in my family knows anything about schools or tests =/</p>

<p>And I think most kids can make their own choices since we are clearly not going to choose schools that do not offer significant financial aid or are otherwise unaffordable for our families. (Which is most of the private universities T.T)</p>

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<p>^
What schools require “parent essays”? The only one I know of is Smith, and that’s optional.</p>

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<p>I was talking about forms we fill out for teacher + guidance recs (they have a parent essay section)</p>

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<p>If you’re child picked a different school that was a better fit, without merit aid, I don’t think that is an indication of a “spoiled, entitled brat”. Those are pretty harsh words. </p>

<p>A kid who stomps his feet and whines to attend Expensive U when mom and dad say they can only afford State U is a spoiled brat.</p>

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<p>I will absolutely play a big role in picking DD’s college. Her personality is such that it would be a few weeks after high school graduation before she started thinking about choosing a college!</p>

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<p>Our choosing was more of the subject than the college. We steered all three to STEM fields from a very early age, but didn’t insist on anything specific. We were lucky that tuition and aid were not issues, and they picked their own colleges - one we were very happy with, and two were neutral, but the important thing was all three went to majors both parties liked.</p>

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<p>Sneaking in here. I think parents should play a more background role and not leave everything completely to the student. Like a student want to apply to college that are expensive or hard to get into. Parents should persuade them to apply to cheaper or lower level school.
But I would leave most of the colleges stuffs to the students anyway. The parents should enter the field of visits, scholarships, FAFSA, payments and making sure students meet deadlines. That’s all!</p>

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<p>I was surprised to see people guessing the 17% were rich families. My guess is that those are more likely to be 1st generation college kids whose families perhaps have no experience or background to help with the decision.</p>

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<p>I’m in the same boat… Although my daughter has a dream school and she worked hard for that one application. But, if I did not do all the research myself and try to find matches and safeties, she would have done nothing. In fact, she is still doing nothing about the other applications that are upcoming.</p>

<p>If it was left up to her, she would be sitting around in late January with a 50/50 chance of even having any college to go to.</p>

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<p>"Nearly all parents (90 percent) researching colleges and universities for their kids are turning to the web for information, according to a recent survey from a number of market research groups. "</p>

<p>Atrociously framed question. Duh, they’re turning to the web. That’s where information is these days on pretty much everything. This isn’t remotely insightful. That’s like saying that often, people use phones to communicate with others.</p>

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<p>Twenty years ago I was in your shoes, having to do all my financial aid paperwork, applications for school and scholarships, make sure everything was in on time, make sure SAT scores sent, etc </p>

<p>But I learned a lot! My parents even gave me the money for only ONE application fee! So I chose very wisely and applied to a great state school that was affordable, I was 75% sure I would get into and I liked for the most part. (I liked it much better once enrolled and I actively searched out my peer group)</p>

<p>It really all came down to money at my house. My parents wanted me to stay within a certain distance and go to a state school. I did. My important thing was getting a college education, and I found a quality school in my backyard, which I wouldn’t have considered had parents said “Do whatever.” </p>

<p>I saved money, they saved money, and I went to a top 10 Graduate school.</p>

<p>And with doing all of my college paperwork, financial aid, etc I think it really made me appreciate “Hey, this costs a lot of money!” It made me keep my grades very near a 4.0 and helped me get my Grad school payed for with merit money. </p>

<p>And people still come to me for financial advise, much I learned on my own because of my
college years!</p>

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<p>What a misleading title for that article. Sure people turn to the web for information. Who wouldn’t in this day and age? But that doesn’t mean the “choose their college on the web”. Good grief.</p>

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<p>My parents and I are very close and I turn to them for advice on a lot of things. However, things like what’s best about a college is just over their heads. It’s not something they’re knowledgeable about. They did then, and do now, tell me that I’ll make the right decision and that’s the end of the advice on that, so I stopped going to them long ago. </p>

<p>My parents still have very little clue about what I’m studying (they couldn’t name my degrees if you asked) and they have no idea how I’m funding college (they turn over their tax info to me and then sign the FAFSA). That’s why I don’t consult them about school specifically. It’s just not really something they can help me with. </p>

<p>OTOH, I stayed in state because of my parents. So they had a role in my decision, but not on purpose. And they still have no idea I stayed in state because of them. </p>

<p>My parents are definitely the 17%, and I did 100% of my research online. How else was I supposed to do it? I certainly didn’t have the money to visit any of the schools!</p>

<p>Terrible title though and completely misleading in so many ways.</p>

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<p>Coming soon: buy your Harvard education through Amazon and save 30% off list price! Just stick Harvard in your shopping cart and hit one-click purchase!</p>

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<p>Does it come in a podcast version, LoremIpsum?</p>

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<p>Honestly, I wonder how many of that 17percent are first generation immigrants OR parents who have not attended themselves, so don’t know that parents need to help. I do have a few friends who mentioned that their kid did “all the work” but these were uber kids who often took the school that sent them the best unsolicited scholarship. </p>

<p>Let’s do an informal poll of our own? Parents…

  1. What percent of the research did you do?..For us, I would say that I did 70 percent. I framed myself as an admin assistant: you tell me what to research and I will. For example, find me schools that have x,y,and z in states r,s,or t and are in urban or suburban areas that are interesting. She then reviewed my data, researched her favorites, and gave me my next assignment. None of the decisions were mine, but I controlled the amount of time that we spent in the office working.
  2. When you toured, whose opinion was weighted higher? For us, 80 percent student. I asked lots of questions on the tour, but never commented on my impressions until we were in the car with a notebook and all her pros cons had been written up. Then I would add in.
  3. What percentage of the paperwork/deadline did you manage? I proofread apps and essays and made suggestions. I helped her write the brag sheet our school requires before you can request recommendations.
  4. When the results were in, how hard did you push your opinion? …for dd, we didn’t push at all. We did a pros and cons chart and weighted factors, but 100 percent her decision. (We definitely had reservations, but who doesn’t???)
  5. Was you relationship better, more strained, or the same when you were done with the process?    Much, much stronger.....it was amazing to see what she did with the data I gave her, and the maturity she demonstrated.  Plus, the tours were FUN!&lt;/p&gt;

<p>How do the rest of you compare?</p>

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<p>I think it also depends on the student, the resources available (including at student’s HS), student’s access to kids attending various colleges, ability to travel to visit Us of interest, other demands on student’s time, etc.</p>

<p>From the time kiddo entered HS, S & I asked the GC to recommend Us that were likely to award merit aid to kids similar to S. When we were planning vacations, we would ask GC to recommend Us in the area that MIGHT award merit aid to kids like S. Whenever we went on vacations from the time S was in 9th grade, as a family we would at least drive past some of the Us in the area, just to get a “feel” for the areas. None of us stepped foot on the campus where S ended up attending until we were all there for move-in day (though we had driven around the campus).</p>

<p>Neither of our kids allowed us to read any of their essays or materials they were submitting to Us. S and D made their own choices about which Us they wanted to apply to and were responsible for handling all aspects of their testing and applications. </p>

<p>I DID work with the College Board and HS to get them medical accommodations while taking testing as needed, but that and paying for any application fees was the extent of parental involvement in application process. I also contacted each of the Us where S applied to confirm whether FAFSA or any other forms were required if S was only seeking merit awards and was told that NO other paperwork was needed. Once S was admitted, I did contact each U to determine their policies regarding accommodating S’s medical health issues. I also asked S’s 1st choice U whether they could increase their merit award to match the award offered by it’s rival U (which they did). I did ask S why we kept getting correspondence from Us asking for more parts of his apps as well. I did also keep and file all the materials various Us sent us, tho neither kiddo seemed particularly interested in most of it. (I ended up donating the materials to the local public HS.)</p>

<p>S chose his U and we were all very happy with his choice. The process was even easier for D. All we did was pay for her application fee, as she had already sent her scores to the U. She only applied to one U–the one her brother happily matriculated at. We would have been happy to have a role in the process of either kiddo but were fine with them handling everything.</p>

<p>In my sister’s household, she & her oldest and youngest D visited each of the Us where she was accepted before she decided which U she would attend. The middle D decided she would thrive where planted & did at OOS U.</p>

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<p>Back 30+ years ago, I did everything myself, even though my parents were both college grads. I applied to and matriculated at flagship U & then got information & application to go on an exchange program to OOS public U. I attended and while there applied to transfer to that U, got LOTS of merit & FAid. I also did all my law school applications & scholarship apps myself. It worked out very well and I have no regrets. I only applied to a total of two Us and five law schools (I think). The first time I saw my OOS U was when the airport shuttle dropped me off on the campus. The first time I saw my law school campus was again when the airport shuttle dropped me off on campus.</p>

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<p>Let’s do an informal poll of our own? Parents…
“1. What percent of the research did you do?”</p>

<p>I gave them a “starter list” of places that I thought might appeal to them for various reasons, to which they could add or subtract as they saw fit based on their own research. I deliberately did this because their peers were going to be very Midwestern based and I wanted them to hear about schools that wouldn’t necessarily be highly known in this area. Most of the suggestions they liked and wanted to tour; we reserved the right to add a “indulge your parent in this one” option. Ones they didn’t tour that I would have liked included W&Mary and the Maine LACs of Bates/Colby/Bowdoin. </p>

<p>We followed the principle that after tours, they would give their opinions before H and I would say anything. Generally speaking, we tended to agree on observations, but we focused our observations on trying to get a handle on the ethos, spirit and vibe, rather than concrete details. </p>

<p>At the end of the day, there was only one place where a kid wanted to go where one parent had a serious reservation (American U), but it all worked out fine.</p>

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<ol>
<li><p>I did 90% of the research with all three kids. One of my kids complained that he couldn’t tell much from the “viewbooks” sent out by colleges. I completely agree. Many college web sites aren’t very helpful, either. College fairs seemed to confuse them, more than help them. Another one of my kids wanted a certain major. I literally went to the web sites of all 200 accredited programs to find the admission requirements. That took hours. That kid ended up at school we had never even heard of before. He’ll be graduating, with his masters, from that same school in August. </p></li>
<li><p>Tour opinions were 100% student. We were lucky in that each of my three kids got to see at least a dozen schools. You use their responses from the first tour to choose the second tour.</p></li>
<li><p>I reviewed the apps and essays before they were submitted. </p></li>
<li><p>When the results were in, we didn’t push at all. We did talk, but seemed to be in agreement. </p></li>
<li><p>I think the time spent together while touring brought us closer together. Dad did some tours and I did some tours.</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>That may be, but I also think there is a different contingent: The set of parents where it’s just all assumed by everyone that the kid will attend an in-state school, particularly the directional universities where there isn’t really a question whether the kid will get in or not … So there just isn’t a need to start researching on either the parents’ or the student’s part, as they just don’t have any interest in looking elsewhere. Going more expensive isn’t of interest. Getting the very bestest elite school isn’t of interest. Going out of the comfort zone of familiarity isn’t of interest. (“Why would you send your kid all the way to Massachusetts when we have colleges here …”)</p>

<p>I mean, it’s kind of like - if you know for vacation you’re going to go to the place where you’ve always thought about going and know how to get to, what do you need to research? That’s what you’re going to do.</p>