<p>We looked at colleges on the web but we also visited each college in person. I did not chose the college my dd picked. She wanted and got it to a tune of tens of thousand more out of my pocket.</p>
<ol>
<li>What percent of the research did you do?..I did 85% of the research. DS gave me a list of requirements, and I went looking. He fell in love with a school his sophomore year of school that I knew had good aid and I was tasked to find a school he could love more that we could afford. </li>
<li>When you toured, whose opinion was weighted higher? His. He really needed a tour to get a feel for things. He saw things very differently from me and so all I would do is ask if he wanted to buy a shirt from the campus store. If it was a “yes” it went to the final list. </li>
<li>What percentage of the paperwork/deadline did you manage? I proofread the apps, and organized the mailings to give to gc. I helped him with a brag sheet and kept the spreadsheet. We were on a money hunt, so he applied to a lot of schools. </li>
<li>When the results were in, how hard did you push your opinion? No decision was made until all aid packages came in. He had a basically full-ride at one school and full-tuition at his favorite. He chose his favorite with our blessing. </li>
<li>Was you relationship better, more strained, or the same when you were done with the process? It was stronger-I knew him better.
After all that, of course, the financial aid office assured me that since he was such a desirable candidate that he would have received the same aid packet if he had gone ED and we wouldn’t have spent the year stressing out! But I wouldn’t have had such good company on CC.</li>
</ol>
<p>Given the amount of “parental helicoptering” evident at our kids’ selective-enrollment HS, I can’t imagine that these same parents are hands-off in regards to college selection, nor on college applications. A fair number of parents admit to hiring a “college counselor”, in addition to the excellent college counseling services that the HS provides.</p>
<p>But I concur with parents who feel that they wouldn’t allow their teen free reign on college selections. It’s not logical to allow a teen to make a $30,000 to $60,000/year decision without parental input, without college counselor’s input, etc.</p>
<p>90% of the people USING the internet to do research (whether parents or the student) is different from implying that 90% of the parents CHOOSE the college for their child. The original post seems to be mixing up these two.</p>
<p>I mad the list based on information from internet. I let my D. to decide to use list or not. She liked it and used it. She actually like it so much that she asked me to compile similar list of Med. Schools. This was much much easier, I clearly knew her major and minor preferences and she needed very short list anyway.<br>
So, yes, I am among those who compiled list based on info from internet.<br>
However, when it was time to decide, D. visited a lot, each school under consideration was visited several times, including overnights and staying with potential sport team at one of them. The final decision was definitely based on her visits, not on any information from internet.</p>
<p>annasdad, we did similarly. Had to be an engineering school. Had to be within 6 hours, had to be public. We made the short-list of 5 universities, and she picked from them based on web information, campus visits, cost comparison, and just what we know about them each from living in the area. I think the poll is pretty messed up. No way 90% of parents choose their kids’ college on the web, or based on web information alone.</p>
<p>An alternative title for this article might be “10 Percent of Parents Researching College for Kids Still Not Using the Internet!”</p>
<p>We are just in the middle of the process as S is a HS junior, so I can just speak to items 1 and 2:
- I have been doing 90+ percent of the early research, using the Internet almost exclusively. I print out all relevant info on schools and S and W read it, then the three of us discuss and decide which schools we will visit.
- After we have visited a school, S takes ownership of the evaluation of the school and determines whether it stays on his list, with the exception that W demands that he apply to at least one school from her own list, regardless of his evalutions.</p>
<p>I question both the 17% where the decision will be completely up to the student, and the 1% who make the decision for the student. I suspect by the time the final decision is being made, the parents have already had significant input in most cases. If the parents have already told the student that they will be providing no financial support, then the parents have influenced the decision - either in terms of where the student ended up applying in the first place, or in where the student can afford to attend in the end. That type of decision is not completely up to the student.</p>
<p>For the 1%, I suspect that is actually low, given the conversations I’ve had with D’s classmates. One of her friends has little to no interest in the application process. Her mother guided her to the school of her choice, arranged for a home visit, and then visited the campus. She took an admissions exam, and was apparently told she’s in at the end of August, though she does have to go through the formal application process. I don’t quite understand how it works at this particular school, but she has apparently already made a housing deposit. About the only thing the student is doing is writing the application essay. Mom asked for letters of recommendation (and later discovered they need to be from teachers), and did all the other paperwork. Since student won’t get off her butt and apply anywhere, Mom is making the decision for her.</p>
<p>Other classmates have parents who are only willing to pay for one application, and only to a school the student is guaranteed to get in - and that is affordable. One who is in top 5%, but with lousy SAT scores can’t apply to schools that are test optional, because his parents believe they can’t possibly be good schools. He’s stuck looking at 2nd and 3rd tier state school, and community college. For all intents and purposes, his father is making the decision for him. I suspect 1% is low.</p>
<p>As for the impact of the internet, I would expect that a significan’t percentage of students and their families are getting at least some information online. But I seriously doubt 90% choose on the web - unless they mean 90% of that 1% making the decision for their kids.</p>
<p>Some kids have very specific criteria, there is no general solution.</p>
<p>I am 17, currently applying to colleges, and I have no help whatsoever from my parents regarding applications and decisions. For one, they are both immigrants from India, and don’t really understand much of anything about the admissions process. Also, I have always just been a VERY independent person. In doing all of my extra curriculars, in keeping on top of my school and domestic obligation, and in just going about my day to day life, my parents have never really had to aid me in many ways beyond financial.</p>
<p>Selecting what college I go to will not be a difficult decision simply because I am young. The financial strain of college is greatly mitigated as I am applying to mostly private universities which offer upwards of 80% tuition in financial aid for typical middle class students. </p>
<p>On top of that, I’ve done my fair share of research (yes, children can do this without being told to do so by their parents) and quite frankly, this whole “best fit” idea is not all that complex. I’m not saying that students are so one dimensional that any school can fit their needs - what I am saying is that certain types of schools have certain environments which are appropriate for different students. For example, tech schools like MIT are great for kids with analytic and experimental natures - nerds, geeks, quirkatrons. Without a doubt, large state schools with undergraduate populations greater than 10,000 are going to be so large, that it will be practically impossible for the student to not find his/her niche. </p>
<p>Beyond that, considerations such as the size of the city, distance from home, and whatever other factors you want to consider are of varying significance from person to person. Also, they shouldn’t be very hard decisions to make, as the student should know what he or she would prefer…and if they don’t, they can always do research to figure it out.</p>
<p>My point is not to say that parental consulation is for coddled, helicopter-parented children, but rather that it is by all means possible for an adolescent to independently make his/her college decision. The Internet is a wonderful place, and as sites like CC will attest, information is one thing you will find all too abundantly.</p>
<p>I did a ton of research on colleges (as a homeschooled mom), but in the end, my son chose the school that I never wanted him to apply to and certainly didn’t want him attending. You know what? He chose well and I can’t imagine him at any other school. </p>
<p>Oh yeah, it helped that he got significant need-based aid and a hefty yearly NM Corporate scholarship, but we didn’t know the NM amount until after he chose his school. Let’s just say there were some tense moments in the house. We knew <em>we</em> didn’t have the means to pay the balance and we weren’t happy about him taking out loans. In the end, he most likely will graduate debt free. We are a grateful family.</p>
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<p>We also assumed at the beginning that our younger son would attend a state university because we certainly couldn’t afford full freight at the elite schools. It turns out that the way financial aid has been reallocated at these top schools, since maybe 2006, made these colleges viable options. When I discovered this information, on CC and across the Internet, it made a huge difference in our college selection process. So I ended up changing the type and range of colleges that we considered, while my son narrowed the possibilities down to schools that matched his interests.</p>
<p>Interesting how many parents do most of the research… Wouldn’t it be interesting to hear the “I loved my school”. “I transferred/dropped out of my school” and the " I wish I had put more effort in myself" statistics…</p>
<p>Our dd is ecstatic at her chosen school. I would say that left to her own devices ( and budget of time) she would have not had the data to choose so wisely… I considered an excellent investment of my time to be her research assistant… However, the gal above whose mom did all the work? Bet you a Starbucks she transfers or moves home. Not enough independence to succeed!</p>
<p>I was involved when she asked for my input. Well, I was a little more involved than that initially. She was really set on Columbia initially. I told her if she was thinking about NYC then she had to go there for a week for a pre-college program. I also encouraged her to consider Barnard because it sounded like a perfect fit for her given her passion for feminism and NYC. She went to a one week pre-college Young Women’s Leadership Institute at Barnard and fell completely and totally in love. “Everybody is so passionate about women’s issues!” She applied to 9 schools total and I did give her my opinion on some of them. I could tell though, all along, the one that REALLY mattered was Barnard. That was the school that, if she was rejected, could break her heart. </p>
<p>After she was accepted there and Michigan (she pretty quickly ruled out her other two admissions), she waffled back and forth. Her father pushed hard for Michigan. I told her to follow her heart and live her dream. She’s living her dream at Barnard with no regrets and loving every minute of it. It was, and is, the perfect fit 
</p>
<p>Guidance is different than choosing for them. Talking about the finances of it is different also.</p>
<p>After going on a no-parent college tour during spring break of sophomore year, DD concluded (much to my relief) that large universities did not fit her learning style and that she preferred the LAC environment. I reviewed the CTCL web site and read the book. I also had her read the book, and we discussed her criteria and what she would not consider. I also reviewed the Colleges of Distinction web site. We attended college fairs together.</p>
<p>She had a big say in what schools we saw on Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving week and where we would go during Spring Break of junior year. </p>
<p>Ultimately, she rejected a ton of schools. One called her several times a month for months on end. She was afraid to apply because she felt they might offer her so much merit and financial aid that it would be hard to turn down. I agreed with that assessment and that she would have been miserable there due to the school’s isolation. In the end, she only applied to a small group of schools. I made her apply to two CSUs as financial and academic safeties in case her chosen LACs made attendance financially unfeasible.</p>
<p>She was accepted into the school that was the best match for her in a multitude of ways that she and I identified. They also offered her the most money, and she is very, very happy there. I think we reached a good balance in the process. Neither she nor I am interested in prestige/name, so it wasn’t a matter of attending the highest ranked school to which she would be accepted. She also didn’t feel that others needed to know the school or that she needed to know others who attended or would be attending. I am a bit sad that she is too far away to come home for Thanksgiving and that she may not even be home this summer if she finds a summer job out there – but that is a risk one takes when kiddo attends school far away and I knew that. I would rather have DD be independent that overly dependent and never want to leave the nest.</p>
<p>^Not to mention the lists of clubs and organizations, available scholarships, maps of campuses, even cafeteria menus!</p>
<p>I am the 17%.</p>
<p>“Interesting how many parents do most of the research… Wouldn’t it be interesting to hear the “I loved my school”. “I transferred/dropped out of my school” and the " I wish I had put more effort in myself” statistics…-</p>
<p>-D. was very satisfied, looking back (she graduated 1.5 years ago), she cannot imagine better place for her UG. As I mentioned, she was so happy with my help that she has asked me to compile list of her Med. Schools. But this one was much easier. I never asked her if she needed help, I researched out of my own curiousity, it took at least couple of years, I had a huge spread that I had to print on several pages and stick them together. I presented her with the list as an alternative for her search, but she basically was very happy with it. D. would have no time to compile so much of very detailed info. However, when time was to decide, she visited a lot, each school several times.</p>
<p>-D. was very satisfied, looking back (she graduated 1.5 years ago), she cannot imagine better place for her UG. As I mentioned, she was so happy with my help that she has asked me to compile list of her Med. Schools. But this one was much easier. I never asked her if she needed help, I researched out of my own curiousity,** it took at least couple of years, **I had a huge spread that I had to print on several pages and stick them together. I presented her with the list as an alternative for her search, but she basically was very happy with it. D. would have no time to compile so much of very detailed info. However, when time was to decide, she visited a lot, each school several times.</p>
<p>It took YEARS of research? And there are fewer Med schools than UG, and I would think the criteria would be fewer (i.e. no need to see if major is offered, etc etc). That sounds like making the process way more complicated than it needs to be. I am sure most prospective med students don’t have parents who can devote these resources to their application.</p>