Look…you can’t have it both ways. If you choose NOT to take the standardized tests (SAT or ACT) there are many colleges that will simply have to NOT be in your application list. Even some of the test optional schools require these tests for homeschooled kids.
So…either take the test…or go someplace where they aren’t required. Bard is one school. Hampshire would be another option.
Or go to a community college for two years…and get an associates degree. Then apply to a four year college to get your bachelors.
You HAVE options…but you also seem to have reasons why they won’t work for you. You will need to put those things aside IF you really want to or need to attend college.