A college student worst fear

Parents Forum
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<p>Please excuse my grammar. </p>

<p>Hi parents, my former user name is collegeboi99. I had to make a new account because I forgot my password and couldn't remember what email I use to registers. </p>

<p>Things are looking so dim for me, I wonder if I can ever get out of this mess. I couldn't find my last thread I made on here, so I'm hoping for those parents who help me on my last thread know exactly what I am talking about. Here is a quick run-down of what I am facing. </p>

<p>I been in college for two years now but I am in danger of being bar this coming fall. I am anxiously waiting the result of the education board of committee, and their decision. I wasn't able to sleep for 4 days, but since then I manage some sleep. The most stressful thing I do everyday is checking my email in the morning and at night, and sometime I feel like my heart is going too fast.</p>

<p>Today might be the earliest day if I know my results. I don't want to do at this point. If I can't get back, I would have to go to a community college, and it would suck. I don't like the community I live in, and I can't live with my parents for a whole year. I would have to sleep early and wake up early, and go to school and the whole process repeat itself all over again. I'll be 21 soon, yet it would be meaningless, I wouldn't be drinking or partying, I would be sitting at home probably crying and thinking. I will probably go back into my 6 month isolation and depression state, which took a lot of therapy to get me out off in the first place. </p>

<p>This might sound too dramatic but this email will determine my future, and my hands are tied. I can't do anything, it is out of my control. I still have so many plans for next year, and given this chance, I can make something of myself. I just don't know how things can get any worst. I finally feel optimistic and hopeful, and then this happen, and I don't even know why I bother trying, or why I bother living?</p>

<p>I wonder if I have any sort of future, and if so look like it will be a lonely one.</p>

<p>Please help me, I feel there is no justice left in this world at least how I view it.</p>

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<p>Sounds to me like going to community college is the least of your worries. Your previous stint at a 4 year college wasn’t exactly a happy or successful time, so you might benefit from going to CC, and motivating yourself to turn things around. The source of your poor grades and lack of friends is your depressed mental state, and until you get that under control you won’t be able to succeed at any kind of college.</p>

<p>A lot of good advice was given to you in your earlier threads, but did you take any of it seriously? You talked about your inability to make close friends, your loneliness, your inability to show up at your classes–whose fault was that? It wasn’t your parents, and it wasn’t your friends.</p>

<p>Please find a good therapist and get your downbeat mood under control. Don’t skip sessions or look for excuses not to follow through. Once you get out of your funk the rest will follow.</p>

<p>By the way, a lot of very successful people have attended community college. Arnold Schwarzeneggar went to Santa Monica City College, Jim Morrison of the Doors started at CC and then graduated from UCLA, Jim Lehrer of PBS News, UN Ambassador Jeanne Kirkpatrick, Billy Crystal, Walt Disney, Clint Eastwood, Tom Hanks, and Ross Perot. You will do better there if you have a positive attitude.</p>

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<p>I just read some of your old posts as “collegeboi99”.</p>

<p>Yes, you definitely sound depressed. Please, PLEASE speak with someone. Think about someone you trust who might be:</p>

<ul>
<li> a parent</li>
<li> someone else’s parent</li>
<li> an old high school teacher</li>
<li> a counselor at your current or previous school</li>
<li> a priest or minister</li>
<li> a grandparent, aunt, or uncle</li>
<li> a wise person you have worked with, volunteered with, etc.</li>
</ul>

<p>Tell this person you need help, and ask them to make a little time to hear about your situation. Tell them you don’t know where to start, and let them guide you.</p>

<p>That is the most important thing! Do it first!</p>

<p>But next…</p>

<p>Consider the possibility that the traditional college path may not be right for you. Community college is becoming much more popular, because it is an affordable way to become qualified for a career you may really enjoy. Auto mechanics, computer technicians, maintenance technicians, tool and die makers, police officers, paramedics, dental hygienists, nurses, teachers’ aides, daycare operators, website designers, graphic artists, bookkeepers…these are all popular jobs that don’t require a four-year degree, and which make many people very happy with their work. Just think about it.</p>

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<p>UCLA Band Mom</p>

<p>I don’t think you quite understand the situation that I am dealing with. It is perhaps that things have change more quickly than I am able to make a new thread. Despite the facts that my last two year in university has end up in total failure, I am quite optimistic about my future there. I got into a Theatre Art class that I been dying to get in since Freshman year, and I have found other mean to cope with my depression and lack of friendship and relationship. One such mean is volunteering at my local animal shelter, where I find it to be fun, rewarding, and engaging. I took up skateboarding as a hobbies I have wanted to pursue ever since I saw Tony Hawk. I just wanted to add, I would never in my life imagine I would take up skateboarding at my age. Nevertheless it is not just me, but even my parents see that I am more social, happy, and just last week I manage to talk to this girl near my house who I had a crush on for two years. As you can see, my emotional self is improving, and I’m coming out of my shell, and because of this dramatic improvement in my life, I feel that next year I will be able to turn my college experiences around. I still want that college experiences, and I have been known to do incredible things when I’m happy which does not happen often. More example, I was hit by a car going 30mph running the red light near my house. It was my senior year, and the SAT and college essay were coming up. I was in the hospital for three days, and when I got out I was on a huge cast for over 6 months. I couldn’t go to school for 3 three weeks and my grade were dropping, but I manage to turn it around by working after school and attending every tutoring services that was available to me. Bear in mind I did this while on crutches for the remaining semester of my Senior year. I did so well that in the end I got 4 A’s and 2 B’s and got into a good university with good SAT score, and got a 3.6 GPA overall despite doing poorly in my first two years in high school. It is no surprise for me to turn things around despite my college experience thus far. As you can see, my college grades are closely reflected of that off high school, yet I did extremely well in the last two years of high school, and I will do the same for college. Everything I work so hard for, all the obstacle I overcame will be nothing if I go from a good university down to a community college. I just don’t see the point of hoping that things will shape up when I just haven’t witness any. It just seem that I just have horrible luck and a pre-serious disorders to boost to my overall crappy life.</p>

<p>All I am saying is I know I will succeeded in college just like in high school. I need this one extra chance to further my horizon, because I know I am capable of many things, including a natural talent with public speaking, and I don’t know half the things I am capable off.</p>

<p>Also I would like to add that I did listen to the parents suggestion on here and that why my social anxiety is close to non-existence at this point. I took it upon myself to get help via off-campus therapy and various SSRI meds. Please don’t assume something about me when not all the facts are presented.</p>

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<p>Well, I’m going to community college. I graduated with a 3.66 GPA and 21 ACT. I’m quite hopeful. Don’t be so depressed. There might be better things for you at CC. And life isn’t all about social partying and drinking.</p>

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<p>
[QUOTE=collegeboi99]

my emotional self is improving, and I’m coming out of my shell, and because of this dramatic improvement in my life, I feel that next year I will be able to turn my college experiences around.

[/quote]

I hope you communicated all this to the college board. And signed up for GPA-boosting summer classes if grades and academic probation are part of the issue. The good thing is, most of the changes you described aren’t dependent on remaining at your college… for example, there are animal shelters all over, and skateboarding can be done just about anywhere. Hang in there! I believe you can keep the positive changes going, whether your college plans are interrupted or not.</p>

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<p>You appear to have made great progress; congratulations.</p>

<p>Going to community college isn’t the end of the world as you think it is. Your emotional health is far more important. Good luck to you and keep us posted.</p>

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<p>" I took it upon myself to get help via off-campus therapy and various SSRI meds. "</p>

<p>I’m glad to hear how you’ve been follow-up on the advice here by getting professional help. Looks like your life is turning around.</p>

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<p>I don’t know about anyone else but what works for me when I am facing a situation that is out of my control is I try to think of the worst that could happen and how to turn it around. Going to a community college is NOT the end of the world, it’s just not what you want right now. Why not assume that you are going to get kicked out your University and see what classes you can take at the CC? You may well be surprised at the choices of classes.</p>

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<p>NO. Part of your depression is that you are overdramatizing community college as being the end of everything. It’s not. It’s just another type of college. Really. That’s all.</p>

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<p>Yeah, what Pizzagirl said.
I :rolleyes: a lot when I hear people diss the community colleges, or when students tell me apologetically that their college plans include one. Community colleges rock!</p>

<p>Our community college system offers some awesome programs, including some that you can’t get at all in the local university system. The biggest differences are class sizes (smaller in the CCs) and residence (the CCs don’t have dorms).</p>

<p>Community college isn’t the place where losers go to die. It’s the home of faculty who love teaching and would rather work with you than publish an article on some esoteric subject. A CC campus is often a vibrant community with interesting (and often career-friendly) programs in technology, language, and visual/performing arts – and usually a great relationship with the local university system. People who study there include Ivy-bound 16-year-olds, adults pursuing career advancement, and university students taking courses not offered when they need them. Also, of course, plenty of super-bright students who got admitted to four-year colleges, then looked at the price tag and figured they could do better with their money. Especially in the first two years, it’s hard to argue with them on that!</p>

<p>One of my college seniors last year was co-enrolled in our university and a nearby CC, taking a full load at each. He will graduate with an Engineering degree and Cisco certifications, solidly grounded in the theoretical and practical aspects of his career choice.</p>

<p>A group of my son’s classmates are enrolling together at their local CC. They plan to spend a lot of great times together, rehearsing and performing in its excellent musical theatre program (although only one of them actually plans on majoring in something to do with music or theatre). That theatre arts class that was so hard for you to get into at your university? They all got into it at the CC as incoming freshmen. And dance and music and drumming too.</p>

<p>If you do end up spending time at a CC next year, you might find it’s the best thing that’s happened to you in your college career.</p>

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<p>Our local CC brings nationally known speakers to campus and the community.
A friend of mine, with a PhD from Northwestern, is the provost at another CC in her home state – she’s no dummy, that’s for sure.</p>

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<p>One of the best writers I know works at a community college. </p>

<p>And I’m so glad your life is going better for you. Good for you that you got the help you needed.</p>

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<p>I just wanted to say that I got my result and I will be able to return back to my university this fall! I am at a lost for words right now! </p>

<p>I like to thanks all the parents for lending me a hand, and I just hope I never have to post on here again next fall, which would mean things are actually going better for me.</p>

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<p>I’m glad that things worked out for you. Thanks for taking the time to update us.</p>

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<p>That’s great news! Now, keep your positive momentum going – get out on that skateboard and have some fun on the way to the animal shelter! I hope you’ll love your theatre arts class next semester. :)</p>

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<p>Here’s a thought experiment. Poll 1000 over 30 year old successful people- choose engineers, teachers, doctors, lawyers, any field. Or poll the entire graduating class of an elite college, medical or law school. Find out how they got where they are now. You will find that most of them probably got their bachelor’s degree at 22, followed by any further degrees if applicable. You will also find people who did NOT graduate from college 4 years after HS, yet became doctors, lawyers, teachers, just to name a few occupations. Your future is not over, you can still meet your career goals. Also, the same diploma is given to transfer students- your path to that degree is not on it.</p>

<p>The key is hard work. Everyone has to do the work, even getting up early, giving up fun things, whatever it takes. There aren’t shortcuts. Do get needed help with depression et al- you will find people get where they are using resources available to them. Some need different ones. </p>

<p>Just referred back to the thread and see where you are able to continue- congratulations! Take the lessons learned to heart and you will be successful. PS- polish your writing skills- spelling…</p>