<p>I went to America (from Vietnam) two years ago as an immigrant. That made me get into a public school and study with all the American-born kids (my English before coming to America was good enough for me to follow the Regular and Honors programs here.) In my school (in Virginia), there is only about 3% that just came to America from another country, but none of them can speak Vietnamese.</p>
<p>Therefore, even though my study is going well, I have a hard time getting close friends and a social life in America. It seems like people that do not have the same background as me cannot understand me when I feel down and so we can't be close friends either. I tried to talk to a lot of people and I actually made a lot of friends (even more than some of my American-born friends do). Many people say I'm a nice kid, many people talk to me in class, but none of them can be my close friends.</p>
<p>It seems like the different backgrounds make a culture gap between me and those kids. Most of them have been friends since elementary, so they have already been really close, so no matter how hard I have tried to actually fit in the American life and get close friends, I still failed to do so. </p>
<p>My friends only call me once in 2-3 months (we mostly talk on AIM) and never invite me to their birthday parties or never tell me when they hang out on the weekends. I feel really upset sometimes, especially when I already tried a lot to get things better but it just could not help. </p>
<p>I know peer support is really important thing in study. During the last two years, when there was a time when I felt down and no one supported me through that time, I did not feel like studying for a month and my grade dropped a lot. </p>
<p>I'm taking 2 AP classes next year. I need to try much harder than other people as a student just coming to America two years ago, so I need to consider peer support serious now. </p>
<p>Does anyone have any real-life experiences that can give me some advice to improve my current culture problem? Thanks.</p>
<p>I used to be just like that. Instead of hanging out on weekends, ask people to the library to have study sessions. Eventually, the people I studied with became my closest friends and my grades went up. Of course we didn't just study. Actually, I think we wound up talking more than studying.</p>
<p>Also try inviting people to hang out ie going to movies, mall etc. And basically just do stuff that other people do like playing sports, library etc. You'll find friends real soon!!!</p>
<p>What extracurriculars do you do? That's often the way of getting close friends. If you're in ECs that you like, it's probable that the members of those ECs will have things in common with you.</p>
<p>Do you play an instrument? Starting a music group can be a way of making friends. When I was in h.s., I played violin and piano and had friends whom I was in a string quartet with and whom I also accompanied on the piano.</p>
<p>Since it seems like you're a serious student, inviting other serious students to study sessions also would be, as someone here suggested, a good way of making friends.</p>
<p>And it is OK to invite people to go to the movies with you and to come to your birthday party. Don't just wait for others' invitations: Invite them, too.</p>
<p>Lots of students now don't talk on the phone a lot. Iming and textmessaging and messages on sites like Facebook seem to be how teens stay in touch, so that probably would be your best way of communicating to others, too.</p>
<p>Joining a team is a GREAT way to form a close bond with many people.</p>
<p>thanks for all the advice. I have questions about IMing: do you IM people just to say little stuff, like just talking about a little thing about a teacher or a friend? Or do you only IM them about hw and stuff like that? (Lets just say IMing a normal friend that sits next to you in class.) And how often do you IM your friends? Does IMing everyday somewhat too annoying? (for a normal friend / for a close friend?)</p>
<p>Yup, all of this advice is really good. I'm not really sure about the IMing, but I think that you mostly IM to say little stuff (in my experience). I don't think IMing everyday is too bad if the other person is also on; if they're on, they're planning on IMing.</p>