<p>Okay there is this girl in my class that I really like since the beginning of this school year; I talked to her and managed to become one of her closer friend. I was planning to advance further sometimes this month, but she told me about her affection to another guy! To my relief, she said she doesn't like the guy anymore. My question is am I totally hopeless? Should I give up on the pursuit? She obviously isn't attracted by me yet!</p>
<p>I suggest trying again freshman year of college to be honest. Not worth starting relationships senior year.</p>
<p>You should not give up.</p>
<p>I’m just going to imply a whole bunch of stuff which may or may not be true, but likely is true.</p>
<p>You are trying to get her by being very nice and trying to please her every demand. Don’t do this. She will only see you as a friend if you do this. You should go out, have your own life, do your own things. Not to say you should be a jerk to her, but you should not let her take over your life. You need swagger. Try to get her to think that she needs to go out of her way to spend time with you, not the other way around, which is probably happening right now.</p>
<p>You are her friend, and this isn’t bad. What is bad is that you are friend-zoned for now, and you are probably acting too much like a wimp around her.</p>
<p>Go for it, or else you’ll be plagued with “what-ifs” and regrets (unfortunately, I know what this is like, and it sucks). Right now it sounds like you’ve lost your momentum of getting her to like you. You became friends, but you just kind of stopped there, so she thinks of you as just a friend (and telling you about a guy she likes is definitely a sign that you’re her FRIEND). But it’s not too late to try to become more than that. You’re NOT totally hopeless! Try doing sweet/thoughtful things for her, like visiting her at work or going to one of her sports games (or whatever else she does, or whatever you can think of).</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>You are right lastchance, I was actually being with nice to her; So how would you advice me on the future? How can I avoid being friend-zoned?</p>
<p>If you become one of a girl’s closer friends, chances are you will remain one of that girl’s closer friends. We can all agree it’s really sweet when two close friends decide they kinda like each other and start going out, but that very rarely actually happens, and making it your plan of attack is a bad idea.</p>
<p>Basically, make sure a girl is actually aware that you’re attracted to her. Sneaking in through getting close to her doesn’t work.</p>
<p>You should be more of a dbag.</p>
<p>Don’t actually be a ******, but start making fun of her, teasing her a lot, don’t do whatever she wants. Say “no” a lot, especially if she says to do something that you don’t really want to do. Laugh at her for being silly. Hit on other girls. </p>
<p>I mean, treat her like a friend, but more like someone you hang out with and rib a lot, instead of trying to be so close.</p>
<p>I actually have the same exact problem as you. Like this girl over a year, got close couple time and go on a couple date, but however, i never managed to get the courage to tell her my feeling toward her. Now, after few months later, I have a feeling she lost that sparks for me and feel like she pushing me away. If I can be like a dbag, I could, but I can’t because I’m really a nice guy and I’m not that type of guy through :(,</p>
<p>Friend zoned FTL.</p>
<p>u are basically screwed bro.
exactly same situation happened to me. I was into a girl that treat me as friend and tell me everything including how she liked another guy etc. Later she start saying that she doesnt like him anymore, i told her i like her, and i almost screw our friendship.
good thing is, we manage to become really good friends anyways, so i didnt lose to much.</p>
<p>Maybe u wanna to speak to her about this issue. regardless the outcome, u can stop thinking about “what-ifs”.</p>
<p>The problem here is thinking that doing anything but being sickeningly sweet to a girl is the same thing as being a dbag. It really isn’t.</p>
<p>One a girl friendzones you like that, your place is totally firmly planted. Sorry but you should’ve been more aggressive in getting her to see you as a potential bf rather than the “nice guy friend” type right off the bat. There’s a HUUUUGE difference between the two.</p>
<p>Once a girl friendzones you like that, your place is totally firmly planted. Sorry but you should’ve been more aggressive in getting her to see you as a potential bf rather than the “nice guy friend” type right off the bat. There’s a HUUUUGE difference between the two.</p>
<p>Do I really have to be a dbag? The problem is I can be a dbag when I am around a girl that likes me; However when it’s the other way around, I can’t!</p>
<p>It’s not that you need to be a dbag. Girls don’t really like jerks.</p>
<p>However, like amarkov says, you want to avoid being too sweet, too nice, too much of a nice guy. There’s a healthy balance.</p>
<p>You need to act more confident, more like the guy you are around girls that like you. I’m not saying it’s easy. But it’s very, very important not to give the girl everything she wants (or everything you/she think she wants). You need to blow her off, you need to treat her like she’s not the most important thing in the world to you, which she isn’t.</p>
<p>ironically, once you marry a chick if you don’t treat her like the most important thing in the world you’ll never hear the end of it!</p>
<p>@ Lastchance: Man, should I tell her my feeling now and hope for the best? Or should I be a dbag starting now and wait?</p>
<p>Can we make a new section called “mating tips?” I’m just sayin, the sex talk is kind of taking over college-life</p>
<p>
Do the first part only if you want to just move on and date different girls. For getting her, it’s an absolutely terrible idea. Telling her your feelings is good if you want her to stop treating like a friend and you just want out of this spot.</p>
<p>You should try being a dbag now. Note, I’m not advocating actually being a dbag or rude or mean. I’m just advocating being less nice and more of a dbag. Don’t go too far. </p>
<p>You want her to say things like “That sucks, sorry you have other plans” or “That’s really mean, raezin.”</p>
<p>You don’t want, “raezin, you’re a jerk.”</p>
<p>ahhh, wow but that girl says “you’re a *******” or “you’re jerk” regularly to me though; but I think she’s meant it in a playful tone.</p>