A Hard Test in College Finances

<p>I found this column interesting because it does show how a lot of people approach college applications -- NOT people on CC who have done their research. CCers can be critical of her approach because we know its problems. As a writer who should know about financial aid, she should have known, too. But humans are fallible, and her column certainly shows that.</p>

<p>Her situation is not at all unique. Many people don't know about merit aid, don't know how the system works. Her story sounds similar to the conflict faced by some of my daughter's friends last year. Newspaper articles are as much about the unique as they are about issues that average people deal with.</p>

<p>In my view, having been largely responsible for creating the problem, Kristof should suck it up and come up with the money at this point. She's the adult (and putative expert). She should know better.</p>

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It will be interesting to read in coming columns how she resolves it.

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<p>Well, if it turns out that reading Newsweek is insufficient preparation for gaining admission to Tufts, Georgetown, etc., we probably won't be reading any more about it. Poor daughter; now EVERYONE knows where she is planning to apply and is waiting to hear if she gets in.</p>

<p>sly, no doubt many people don't know about merit aid, or how the system works, but this person authored a book about the subject. She has succeeded in making herself look foolish, in my opinion, with this article.</p>

<p>Given the excerpts posted my calmom above, I think anyone who bought a book by someone who advises attending community college rather than going into debt, and who then contemplates going into debt for her own child (if indeed she is), should ask for a refund.</p>

<p>mafool: Thank you for reminding us of her willingness to publicly reevaluate her position. These are very difficult decisions for many of us, and it's such a shame that they are. I'm with weenie, just go grateful that things have worked out for me to send my kids to their dream schools. I thought it was curtains when my husband's business took a serious down turn post 9/11. Only strong resolve pulled it through.</p>

<p>I also agree with anxiousmom that this mom will find the money aand not lay that debt burden on her D.</p>

<p>read this article in the Star-Ledger. Why did this woman spend her money on east coast college visits? Tufts and Georgetown wouldn't hold it against her daughter if she applied without visiting first. Also NYU has a reputation of being super-stingy with need-based aid - she should have skipped it if she can't pay.</p>

<p>Kinda agree with Mombot. How do people get these great jobs and hold on to them showing such a level of journalistic incompetence? </p>

<p>To have written a book, yet not know how merit aid works, which colleges offer it and to whom and why.......it's unbelievable. To bring her daughter on a trip to look at colleges out of their known discussed range....what was that about? I suspect it's not really beyond the author's or her ex's actual ability to pay and they'll probably end up allowing the D to take on a modest debt for the college of her dreams and footing the bill between them for the rest, which to me just makes the article that much more disingenous. I doubt she is not in the same boat as millions of middle-class families.</p>

<p>Just shows you "buyer beware" when it comes to advice books. Seems any moron can write a book if the publisher agrees to publish it.</p>

<p>So the Da was very happy with UCLA which was affordable, and then the mom takes on a tour of NE colleges, none of which are? </p>

<p>This link worked for me (afaik I am not subscribed to LATimes)
<a href="http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-collegetrek9sep09,0,5010777.story%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-collegetrek9sep09,0,5010777.story&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm...
after they've seen G-T?</p>

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<p>I agree that this is the BEST way to handle the financial end of the college search--everyone understanding the ground rules and no one expects Mom and Dad to pony up any more funds from somewhere.</p>

<p>What I have seen most often in practice is the following: </p>

<p>"Junior wants to apply to HYPS, and I don't want to seem like I don't have faith in him, and I don't want for him to think that he worked so hard in high school for "nothing"--so we're letting him apply to HYPS. </p>

<p>But we really can't afford it and if he gets in we'll have to tell him that he can't go unless he gets a big scholarship. But luckily, HYPS have single digit acceptance rates, so we are really praying that he doesn't get in. If the school says no, we don't have to be the bad guy."</p>

<p>Seriously--a lot of people I have met say this to me. Luckily, Junior has yet to get into HYPS. The latest acquaintance to say this breathed a sigh of relief when her D went happily off to UC Berkeley.</p>

<p>Just used new link to read article. I did have some sympathy with the author who does discover that other people's kids and your own are two very different things.</p>

<p>I think some of the comments about Newsweek missed the author's point that she uses her own money. She also reads the New Yorker, which I would stack up alongside most mags.</p>

<p>Journalists often write of that which they know little of. (How's that for a sentence with awkward prepositions?) She's not a professional financial planner. </p>

<p>For me, as for many of other posters, the one murky things remains the question of why the trip? Perhaps the premise exists just for the sake of the article, and the author planned to finance education all along. The "discover as you go" methodology of the article is an engaging strategy. Writers (I am one) can be disingenuous.</p>

<p>My last question: Washington a vibrant, world capital? Huh?</p>

<p>I just read this with the new link as well. (Thanks for that!) I hate the author's tone in this article and her recounting of what makes perfect financial sense, followed by some starry-eyed comments about Georgetown based on the info session, for God's sake.
Georgetown is a mixed bag. Every school is a mixed bag. Children need to make their own experiences at whichever school they choose. Financial fit is part of fit.
Amen.</p>

<p>I think the whole thing is basically a cautionary tale that it is a lot easier to give advice than it is to follow it.</p>

<p>^^Isn't it true! I do it all the time.</p>

<p>If the kid is paying for a Newsweek sub, she's too dumb for G-Town. Everybody knows you can access all Newsweek content for free online. </p>

<p>As I was saying, the woman is horrible. For a journalist, demonstrating she's incompetent to do basic research before flying across the country is appalling. She's either using her kid to create content for her column, which is unethical in my opinion, or she's an incompetent journalist because she didn't do the basic research before embarking on the trip. If she DID know what the deal was with most selective east coast colleges (e.g. no merit aid) then she's just cruel. Whoever said it's no different than touring a house you can't afford is wrong--this is like touring a house with your kids and then taunting them saying "too bad we can't live here because we can't afford it." </p>

<p>Bee-yot**.</p>

<p>i read a wise comment on CC that said while there are people who can lend you money for education, there is no one to lend you money for retirement! </p>

<p>it sure is hard to separate emotions, children and education as i have learned to my astonishment. when i was child-less, it seemed to be a no-brainer that my 'shadow child' would work hard and put him/her self through a nice public college. then when my oh so perfect real child came along i truly beleived that only the very most expensive private education was the minimun acceptable option for him! after coughing up $150K for private elementary education i came to my senses and now he is getting an amazing education at a science/math charter school (public). however, i realize that while the education may be even better at the 'free' school ,those items like sports and the library and equipment are less pristine... it will be interesting to observe myself as i make choices between a private and public colleges for my kids! the atmosphere! the cost! the name! the sports! the cost!! i can't wait ! haha!!</p>

<p>Kristof says that financial aid is out of the question because she makes a "reasonable" salary and is an "avid" saver. Well, even she is an avid enough saver to have have her liquid assets make a substantial difference in her EFC, she must have at least a couple hundred thousand saved outside of her retirement accounts. So please don't tell me that she is going to have to "start skrimping" (her words) to come up with the additional $30,000 per year for her daughter's education.</p>

<p>Mind you, I'm not denying that there is a lot of money at stake here, or claiming that the extra investment is worth it. But this woman is an ignorant fool masquerading as an expert.</p>

<p>I agree, EMM1. </p>

<p>It's the worst sort of journalism that delivers a writer's "musings" (trying to convey a sneer in print) about their personal situation without any solid information that actually helps a reader lured in by a headline about college and paying for it. Worthless, but worse because it adds confusion and fails to inform instead of shining a light on a path for others to follow. And there's an annoyingly blithe silly-me tone underneath the ruefulness --- clearly it'll be all right bec they actually can afford the private college if they want it --- that belies the painful dilemma that other families face when they find they went about the search the wrong way and really cannot afford to send S or D to the college they fell in love with.</p>

<p>another thought - she may be trying to guilt trip the ex into ponying up more money</p>

<p>Big warning that I have not read even the cited article. However, I don't entirely agree that financial reaches should never even be visited. I just don't think the idea of those visits should necessarily be initiated by the parents: the act of doing so implies, to the dependent, an indirect sponsorship of the concept of attending, which in turn implies financial sponsorship on the part of the parents. I remember these implications very much from my own childhood. When my parents brought me some place on their own initiative, I had reason to assume that they could afford to pay the current or future admission price.</p>

<p>If a student wants desperately to visit a financial reach (one or two, maybe), because of established attraction or out of curiosity, I think that the parent should agree to be the escort, as long as full disclosure is made. Sometimes the visit produces an effect different than expected: the student DOESN'T like the campus, or is less in love than previously. A surprising number of students are quite sensible about cost themselves, & will often on their own come to the conclusion that a slight or even much greater appeal of Private College X (even after a visit) is not worth the cost differential vs. public college Y. What's bad about that life lesson?</p>

<p>Also, reversals of fortune (upward) are possible, if not likely. I've read of them here on CC, heard about them among experiences of friends & acquaintances. Sometimes, between the time of application to a college & Decision Date, a parent's disposable income increases, or something else happens.</p>

<p>But even that is not my biggest reason for supporting visits, within reason. Visiting a variety of colleges -- in size, in location, in emphasis, in culture -- is part of the decision process & both directly & indirectly aids that process. It's just as important to know what you don't like in a college, or factors that you can least tolerate, as it is to know what's most realistically affordable. Sometimes a student has no concept of what is even involved in college life, until one visits. One of the most often-overlooked factors is dormitory life & its choices (or lack thereof). For many students, that would not be a deciding factor, but it is for many more students than some parents realize. You can love your classes, but if you hate your living environment & the library has limited hours or is far from your dorm, We Have a Problem, Houston. Another example: some students do not realize how essential a 'campus life' may be to them until they visit one without much of a campus life. Others may find a campus way too "activist" for their taste, & cannot experience that prior to a visit. Etc. Not everything in life is about book knowledge. So the result of visits may have less to do in some cases with the particular campuses as with providing concrete reference points to utilize as guides.</p>

<p>[editing for further clarification: visiting dissimilar colleges (including moderate to expensive privates) can help even a student looking at dissimilar colleges within a narrow affordability range -- such as a variety of UC campuses, etc. It can make the decision process more efficient & clearer.]</p>