A Harrowing Tale of Sexual Assault at Amherst College

Parents Forum
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<p>Her story, given that she does not name the name of her assailant, is not about him, and he is not the point. The point of this story is how she felt she was treated by the administration and the “support” staff. Her writing is cogent and, while one sided, is enough of a true account that many young women weighed in on the comments section to corroborate her experience. Don’t take her at her word. There is a critical mass, enough of one that the college itself felt the need to respond, not only to Angie’s story, but to acknowledge the reciept of other, similar stories.</p>

<p>Given what we know about the general level of response to campus rape issues in most university and college settings, at this point, I don’t even know why the details of her particular story would be up for debate. We know this goes on. On so many campuses. And girls and young women are now demanding action and refusing to be stigmatized and silenced. This is good. For everyone. Including all the rest of the students currently enrolled at Amherst.</p>

<p>That said, I really do not believe this is a story about Amherst, per se, it is a story about the general level of negligence when it comes to women’s safety issues on college campuses. The comments are not only from Amherst students. They are from girls at other schools, as well. </p>

<p>Do we really want to go backwards? No. We want our young women to be safe. Given that it is highly unlikely that these young men, with the exception of a few sociopaths, really want to be criminals, my guess would be they would restrain themselves if they 1. really knew the law. and 2. believed it would be enforced. </p>

<p>This goes for all campuses, not just small schools like Wesleyan and Amherst and Williams.</p>

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<p>Perhaps . . . but the essence of it is that a college failed to encourage an alleged rape victim to report the crime. And, frankly, almost no one, including the college president, disputes that this may well have been the case. Students and alumnae from all over the country have responded to this article by reporting similar experiences at their own schools. Regardless of what you think of this young woman’s account of her experiences, it seems clear that she has brought to light an issue that all colleges need to confront: the conflict between the college’s self-interest and the well-being of a member of the college community who has been the victim of a sexual assault.</p>

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<p>Well put, Dodgersmom.</p>

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<p>As a woman it is disturbing to me that we were the generations that abolished the one foot on the floor at all times and single sex dorms - which we had still when I was a freshman. Our mothers fought for the pill. We fought to be released to be strong and make our own decisions. I’m disturbed at the “hook up” society and the cavalier attitude kids have about sex…not that they are sexually active, more the attitude on the parts of boys and girls . I’m disturbed that we have far too much he said, she said. I really hate that we have to teach our boys to be wary and not trusting of girls to cut to the chase. I’m an extremely strong woman so that is doubly painful. There’s plenty of blame to be thrown around. Since when did it become the responsibility of college administrators to become the moral police and decide who was drunk and who said yes and who said no and who was in which room and why? Sad, infinitely sad.</p>

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<p>Ask yourself: if there was a rash of burglaries in college dorms, would it be the responsibility of the university to figure out what could be done to make it safer? If there was mugging going on all over campus, do you think this would be the job of the university or not?</p>

<p>The question really isn’t who was drunk, we always revert back to the drunk story, the question is why so many sexual assaults have been allowed to occur, unpunished on so many campuses for so long. Do you believe this would be the case in the case of the other mentioned crimes? No? Me neither.</p>

<p>Heck, just look at the way they investigate charges of hazing. How is this different?</p>

<p>I, too, am sad that we have to teach our daughters not to trust the men they meet at college, how to keep themselves safe from being ruffied, how to go to parties and get home at night. As a strong woman with two very strong daughters, I know that as sad as I am to have to teach them this, I’d sure as heck rather they know the MO of the creeps than be one of the young women who does not. Maybe mothers of daughters are less saddened, simply because we’ve known we had to teach our girls these things since they were born.</p>

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<p>What’s “infinitely sad” to me is that women of our generation still do not get how incredibly important it is to support one another. Men as a group do a much better job of this. If a woman tells me that she has been raped, my initial instinct is to believe her. What facts come to light afterwards is an entirely different story. She may or may not continue to get my support. But to cast doubt upon a rape allegation at the outset, seems to be very misguided if we as women, are truly interested in making a safer world for our daughters.</p>

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<p>Thank you for bringing this up. It also struck me. Even if she was delusional–and I am not AT ALL saying that this was the case–why not move her? One would think that they have enough students going on leave and so forth to make a switch.</p>

<p>Regarding the unreliable narrator problem:</p>

<p>I once had an employee who seriously failed to perform during his probationary period. He had been interviewed not only by me, but by the development group with whom he would be working. He succeeded in bamboozling us all. I put a remediation plan in place. He failed to follow through. I decided that there was no recourse but to let him go: he simply was not suited to the technical demands of the position and would not take advantage of our efforts to help him. Because i felt sorry for him, I actually gave him SIX weeks notice, and tried to set him up with recruiters who could help him find a more suitable position. </p>

<p>His response? He went to my boss and claimed that I was firing him for no reason. He told all of the other people who reported to me that I was firing him with no notice for no reason. What could I do? I could address the subject openly with my boss. With the rest of the staff I could say nothing, because of confidentiality. After he left, I told them that although I could not get into the specifics, I could assure them that he HAD been given generous notice, and that he HAD been given every chance to improve his performance, and that none of them needed to fear that they would be summarily fired, despite what he had told them.</p>

<p>I later realized that he was a drunk. I was actually glad that I hadn’t realized this before I fired him, because I might have felt obligated to keep him and try to help him.</p>

<p>The moral of the story is that people can and do make stuff up, stuff that normal people would never DREAM of fabricating. Angie’s story has the ring of truth to me, in large part, and I’ve said elsewhere that it was the most powerful account of such a life event and its aftermath that I’ve read since Sebold’s Lucky. Nevertheless, let us not forget, as Hanna says, that each individual may have their own view of what constitutes “truth.” The problem of narrator is one of those things that is addressed in depth in that worthless, despised English major. Maybe more people should be advised to consider it.</p>

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<p>jonri:</p>

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<p>That’s from the piece we are talking about, and I think that’s plenty of predicate for thinking she comes from a troubled background. All the more so if her parents were alive, together, and she was living with them a couple of years before. One way or another, there was a lot going on in this young woman’s life.</p>

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<p>I agree. I didn’t focus enough on what she herself wrote. So mea culpa for that.</p>

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<p>At every job I have been at in the last 10 years, I’ve had sexual harassment and work place violence training on a regular basis. At the point, it is very drilled into me as to what I am allowed to say or do at work - I know it is ok to ask a co-worker out on a date TWICE, third time is considered harassment, assuming if both parties are single. Employers do the training to cover their butt.</p>

<p>I think colleges should have sexual harassment training for their students, with it should be what to do if they were assaulted. Many students probably will roll their eyes, but they’ll at lease know what constitutes a rape, and what to do when it actually happens.</p>

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<p>So, no clarity here. What is clear is that we can’t begin know Ms. Epifano, what issues she may or may not have, or how true her account may or may not be, whether she’s a terribly pitiable victim or a case of borderline personality disorder. I think her decision to flee to California for an extended period of time without reporting her rape to anyone by itself indicates she was not behaving in an entirely rational fashion. Perhaps the way Amherst handled her case was based as much on the school’s knowledge of her condition as on inherent flaws in the system. But of course the Amherst paper wasn’t able to do any fact checking or solicit any responses from those Ms. Epifano vilified because of confidentiality issues, and I question whether it was appropriate pursuant to the applicable standards of journalism to publish a piece like this when its content can’t be substantiated. None of it passes my smell test very easily, so I’m certainly not going to jump on the anti-Amherst bandwagon based on Ms. Epifano’s account alone.</p>

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<p>It is completely understandable when those who suffer the violence, brutality, trauma, and humiliation of rape do not behave according to someone else’s notion of an entirely rational fashion.</p>

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<p>I have not read the entire thread, but just wanted to thank mini for posts #50 and #53.</p>

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<p>And nobody’s asking you to. This ultimately isn’t about Amherst. If the system Amherst has in place to deal with student sexual assault is less than ideal, it certainly isn’t the only school with that problem. The failure to encourage proper reporting of sexual assaults on campus seems to be a systemic problem. A few schools have made an effort to improve their policies, but many more have not. So, the point should not be to place blame, but, rather, to shine light on this problem and to encourage every college that our sons and daughters attend to institute policies that will encourage students to stand up for themselves should they ever be the victims of assault.</p>

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I don’t see how Amherst discouraged Ms. Epifano from reporting the assault. She chose to leave without telling anyone, a decision which made it impossible to bring charges against her assailant. She returned in severe emotional distress and still didn’t disclose the rape for the entire first semester. At that point reporting would be an exercise in futility. Since we don’t know how Amherst would have handled things had she called the police immediately and had a rape kit done, I don’t think we’re in a position to suggest that Amherst’s system is less than ideal or that Amherst failed to encourage proper reporting of sexual assaults on campus. As for Ms. Epifano’s reports of the discussions she had with the counselor and dean, we have no idea how much her admittedly traumatized state may have affected her perception of those conversations, and no idea whether the Amherst personnel would describe their communications with Ms. Epifano quite differently. But of course they never had the opportunity to defend themselves against her published attack. Again, I question the journalistic standards that are in place at this student-run newspaper.</p>

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<p>For whom? For Ms. Epifano? What about for the school? Would disclosure of alleged assaults not, in the long run, make the school a safer place? Reporting a sexual assault is about more than getting a rape kit done.</p>

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<p>You’re right, dodgersmom, that the issue of rape and sexual assault isn’t “about Amherst.” But this particular case isn’t only about rape and sexual assault. It’s also about, echoing MommaJ’s posts, alarming new standards concerning what is and isn’t “news.” Regardless of the facts of the case, I’m with MommaJ on questioning the journalistic standards of the student newspaper. So, no fact checking required because it’s an “opinion” piece? But Angie wasn’t expressing an opinion; she was alleging rather serious abuses on the part of the Amherst administration. If I were an editor and someone came to me with that story I’d absolutely think it warranted investigation. I would not accept it at face value without corroboration. That’s not responsible journalism. And, of course, the story has gone viral, because what’s juicier than a story suggesting that administrators at a respected institution of higher education are self-serving buffoons? But what really happened? I’m not talking about the alleged rape. For what it’s worth, I am inclined to believe she was raped. But Angie’s account of the aftermath sets off alarm bells for me.</p>

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<p>Angie’s account was what happened to her, not what happened to another student. We can choose not to believe her, but she has every right to openly let people know what happened to her. The administration can refute Angie’s account by further investigation and show evidence of it. I am sure the paper will publish a statement from the dean if she would like to share her side of it.</p>

<p>Not long ago, someone wrote about sexual harasssment at Yale while she was a student there. No one said the paper’s editor had to do any verification of that incident.</p>

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<p>I would have to say, if I didn’t have any family support AND had no one tell me what to do if I were raped, I probably would just run away to a place in order to out it behind me. That’s why I think it is important for schools to educate students on this issue - what constitutes a rape, and what to do when it does happen. </p>

<p>How many people were molested when they were young, never reported it or even talked about it until years later? Is it really that irrational of behavior? I am not a psychiatrist, but people often act differently when under stress.</p>

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<p>Everyone knows who the dean in question was, presumably. Was the dean contacted for comment before this was published? Of course, the dean would not be able to offer any specifics, and would therefore come off as waffling and making excuses.</p>

<p>I’m puzzled by her statements about her background: she lived in the “backwoods” and was “abused,” yet she was involved in all of these activities and an IB program? At first I thought that she was orphaned, but now it appears that her parents are alive and probably living in another state. Was she in fact abused, and if she “doesn’t have parents,” is it because she became an emancipated minor?</p>

<p>I have a friend whose brilliant child fabricated a tale of abuse, and sold it to her audience: fellow students, teachers, the family of her BF, and the admissions staff of an elite LAC. (And yes, I KNOW that her story was false. It did not involve sexual abuse. She had fabricated that kind of allegation against other people several years before. And there is absolutely no doubt that she fabricated it. You’ll have to trust me on this, because I am not going to give any detail for fear of identifying the family.) She did this partially because her BF told her that if she were an emancipated minor she could get a full ride to college, rather than being expected to kick in some work-related funds, as her parents wished. And, like many teens, she was impatient to do what she wanted NOW and had a rebellious streak. And, frankly, she appears to be some kind of sociopath with a deep-seated psychiatric disorder stemming from her earliest history, which I also cannot reveal. This girl could easily spin you a tale that would make you weep, and cry out against her “abusers.” And if this girl were subjected to the trauma of a rape, who knows how she would react.</p>

<p>This experience makes me somewhat less inclined to swallow everything said in an account like this uncritically. Like absweetmarie, I’m inclined to believe that she was raped, and I do think that her tale of personal trauma is deeply felt and powerfully expressed. I also–especially given the corroborating stories that have emerged–think that the college did not, as an institution, handle it as well as they could have, although to be fair to them they were probably dealing with an unusually difficult situation.</p>

<p>The most positive thing that can emerge from this is that Amherst and other colleges will look at how they handle these situations, and reform. And hopefully Ms. Epifano will get the help she needs going forward.</p>