A Little Perspective A Year Later

Hi everyone. I’m currently a freshman in college. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am now and how I got to be here, and it reminded me of how nervous and scared I was at this time last year. I know many of you are reaching the time when you will receive your RD decisions. This is a very emotional time, and you will probably be riding the emotional roller coaster for a little while. I thought I’d share my story with you guys and offer you a little perspective.

I went into March with three acceptances from safety schools, one early action acceptance from a selective college, and one early action deferral from a selective college. The selective school that accepted me early action was my mom’s favorite, but I had already decided that I was not going to that college unless I couldn’t get into any of the other selective colleges I applied to.

RD decisions brought a mixture of happiness, sadness, and surprise. Of the Ivies I applied to, I got one acceptance, a few waitlists, and a few rejections. I was disappointed because the Ivy that accepted me was my least favorite Ivy. Two of the schools that I thought I had the best chance at waitlisted me. The school that deferred me early action rejected me. But on the plus side, one of the schools that I thought I had a slim chance at accepted me, and one of the schools I thought I had no chance at waitlisted me. Perhaps the biggest surprise came from the school that was the #1 school in the country for my intended major. I had to apply to both the school and the major with the understanding that it was possible to be accepted into the university, but rejected from the major. I knew going in that I had no chance of getting accepted to the school, let alone the major, so I was absolutely floored when I got into both the school and the major. I knew when I got those emails that I was almost definitely going to be attending that university.

Fast forward to April when I visited four schools. My visit at the school that I thought I had a slim chance at ended up being not so awesome. I’m sure it’s a wonderful school, but all of my fellow admitted students spent the whole day having a bragging contest about who had higher test scores, more awards, and more acceptances to selective colleges. I decided that I really didn’t want to listen to people bragging about their intelligence for the next four years. While most of the students at that school are probably not like that at all, I couldn’t get the bad taste out of my mouth.

My visit to the Ivy that accepted me really surprised me. I liked it a lot. In fact, I found that I liked it a lot better than some of the Ivies that I thought were my favorites going into the process. In the end, I was very glad that it was that Ivy and not any of the others that had accepted me.

I did an overnight admitted student program at the school that was #1 in my major. When I went into the visit, I was extremely excited to get a better look at the school I would spend the next four years at. It ended up going a lot differently than I thought it would. When my parents picked me up at the end, I was crying and telling them how I couldn’t go to that school. It didn’t fit my personality at all.

When I visited the school that accepted me early action, I fell in love. It was everything I wanted. I spent four days there, and I was extremely sad to leave on the last day. It felt like home.

I am now finishing up my freshman year at the university that accepted me early action, my mom’s favorite, the one that I wasn’t going to go to if I could get accepted anywhere else. I am thrilled to say that I love it even more than I did when I visited. Some days I walk across campus and wonder how I got so lucky to be able to attend such an amazing university. I love my classes, I love my professors, I love my friends, I love the campus, I basically love everything about my school. Whenever I leave on break, I get really sad as I drive away from campus. My only regret is that I only have a little more than three years left at my home away from home.

The point of this post was to give you all a little perspective. Rejection is going to hurt. I’m not going to say that it doesn’t. But if you do happen to get rejected at a school that you loved, do all you can to put that school out of your mind. And when you visit the schools that accepted you, look at them with an open mind. Don’t tell yourself, “Well, it’s not University X, but it’s all I have, so I have to settle for this.” That kind of attitude deprives you of a lot of joy. And if you are fortunate enough to get accepted at a school that you love, it is still very important to be open-minded on your visit. Don’t try to tell yourself you like it if it’s obvious that you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind, and it’ll spare you some unhappiness if you can be honest with yourself.

Wherever you all end up next year, chances are you will all be extremely happy. However, a lot of the outcome depends on you and your attitude. Wherever you go, go into your freshman year with the mentality that you are going to the greatest university in the country, and that you are going to find a ton of wonderful things there. If you look for things you like, you will find them. If you look for reasons to be angry, you will find them. The next four years of your life could be awesome, or they could be unhappy. Either option is a possibility, regardless of where you end up. Please try to remember this as you experience the anxiety, joy, and disappointment of the next few weeks. I wish you all the best of luck.

That was really kind, heartfelt and just what so many of us need right about now; the college process is daunting, exhausting, and hopefully, can have happy endings like yours! Thanks for sharing and continued best of luck and happiness! :o)

Fantastic post, just what a lot of CCers need right now

Wow thank you so much for this. On a side note, I think this would be a little more helpful if you provided us some specific names. Regardless, this is just what many of us (including myself) needed right now - thank you.

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Easy enough to figure out if you really care… click on the OP’s name next to their post, and you can see previous posts. I think an important takeawy from this story is that actually spending time on the campuses made a big difference in his/her view of the colleges. Marketing materials and other people’s comments only take you so far. Keep a somewhat open mind until you have seen your options up close.

That is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thanks!

Hi everyone! I’m glad you all enjoyed my post. I hope it was helpful to all of you.

For emc2fma, the college I ended up attending is Notre Dame. The Ivy that I got accepted to was Penn. Johns Hopkins was the one that was #1 in my major (my major was BME, but I’ve since switched to chemical engineering). As far as the other one, I’m not going to post that name in this thread because I made some negative comments about the admitted student day I attended. While I didn’t intend for those comments to be read as any sort of reflection on the university, which is an awesome university by the way, I still don’t want anyone to associate any of my own personal feelings with that university. That is for you to decide.

Just wanted to say that this is really nice to hear going into the end of March. I will have to revisit/visit some of the schools I am currently thinking “no way” about just from some pamphlets, considering your experience.

Absolutely kind and lovely!

Sasbmar, This is such a genuine and insightful post. You have the wisdom of someone far beyond your years. Your attitude and depth will take you very far in life. All the best to you.

Very good advice and nice to hear, as S was just waitlisted at a midwestern LAC which he considered a safety (and where he is a legacy). We are still scratching our heads! But there are several more decisions to come, and your post, sasbmar, will help me keep a sense of humor–and perspective–about it all.

Fantastic post sasbmar! I hope many students have a chance to read it. My D went though this process last year. It is very stressful and your views can change. My D changed which school was her favorite a few times, and at one low moment even stated that she would not get accepted at one school so she would not have to make a choice…she now attends that school and loves it. She did the overnight accepted student visit and I recommend that for any student, its a chance to get to know your school better and this time to just think about how the school fits you.

Thank you all for your kind words! Best of luck to you and your children!

Great post!

Here’s something I posted last March. I am now finishing up my second year of college, and I’m getting a little sadder every day with the knowledge that I soon will have to leave my school for 3 months. I know it’s a little late and you’ve all made your decisions at this point, but I thought I’d bring it back up anyway. Regardless of how the last few months went for you, try to be excited. You have 4 of the most amazing years of your life ahead of you. Even if the school you will be attending next year was not your first choice, you will be going to a wonderful school. Get excited, get involved, and live in the moment. College has the potential to be such a wonderful opportunity. Make sure you take advantage.

OP, thanks so very much for this post. I will share it with S who is ending his junior year and about to enter the stress of – given our reality of a plan involving complicated fin aid, early action app’s and waitlists – to be a long, drawn-out journey. It helps to hear your story and know that there is light at the end of a tunnel!

Op, this is a terrific post. I’m glad that you are so happy at your college.