<p>I have witnessed this common theme across the CC boards, in the homes of my firends, and by way of many parents. It's theme of a general shock when the parents realize that they have to pay for college. I recently got a 30,000 FinAid package to go to Syracuse (ED) and it was mostly grants. This means that my parents have to shell out ruffly 11,000 for me to go there to fill the gap if not scholarship money comes in. Well, they are handeling it well because they SHOULD. they can afford to split that costs and be fine with that. But some parents seem as if enough is never enough. My friends parents are acting like little ***es because they don't want to pay for her college. </p>
<p>Background--This girls two older sibling have both gotten full rides to highly respected colleges in the country. They were both National merit finalist and were cum laude and my very progressive private high shcool. This girl (a junior) just got her SAT's back and they were ~2150.(first time mind you) She was upset that her Sat's were so low!!! and complained that her family would be very disapointed in her if she didn't follow here 2 older siblings' footsteps and get a full ride to college. </p>
<p>What i don't understand is, you are rich ppl!!! these ppl aren't pore...my school costs 16,000 a yr...and they are not poor..they are very well off. Thtey feel as though a full ride is prestigious and is the only way to go. The're D will get into great colleges (most def) but if she doesn't get a full ride....SO BE IT! I mean, they hae had a break with both older kids in college because they haven't had to pay that....some parents would be jumping over the moon if they didn't have to pay 2 sets of $40,000 a yr and now all they have to pay for is one child. WHY?</p>
<p>that's my question. why are parents pressuring their kids like this. Nobody ever said college was free. Nobody. Why do ppl who can afford college act like this? They should have been prepared to pay for all three (with the money they're making) and now after the first two have gone for free, they should be MORE than prepared to pay for the last D. </p>
<p>My feeling is that you have no idea what goes on in other people's families. I'd suggest you be thankful for your own good fortune and move along. :)</p>
<p>Since we are paying very nearly the full sticker price for two kids so far (three more to go), I would say we don't fall into that category . . . (okay, we whine a little . . .) </p>
<p>Congratulations on your great fin aid package, BTW.</p>
<p>You're not the only one experiencing same attitude towards Financial Aid...I see it specifically from family members whose families don't qualify for financial aid (while ours does, for many different reasons). As a result, there is A LOT of jealousy there.</p>
<p>However, don't even take into consideration they make 3 times as much money, have much nicer houses, cars (especially one family member, who owns 5 classic cars and three "regular" ones--think of all that car insurance!), and even own vacation homes, etc. while my family has none of that. All I hear is whining about how much tuition, etc. is and how financially strapped they are.</p>
<p>For the life of me, I can't understand why they're jealous!</p>
<p>"A Lot of People wanting something for nothing"</p>
<p>Does this include kids expecting parents to pay for college? :)</p>
<p>Dearheart, no one owes you anything after 18 (legal age) so while I guess it's OK to diss someone else's parents for not doing this or that..please realize they have absolutely no obligation to do anything more. </p>
<p>What I often find on this site is a sense of entitlement and very little appreication of what parents ARE doing. </p>
<p>It should always come down to would you be willing to spend your own money. If not, it isn't really fair to criticize someone else's reluctance to spend theirs.</p>
<p>It's also just not possible for a casual observer to know what another family can afford to pay for college, let alone what they should pay. </p>
<p>When you say that if your friend doesn't get a full ride, "SO BE IT," are you saying that her parents won't pay anything toward her education? </p>
<p>She sounds like an excellent student - that 2150 SAT alone will give her many nice options. If her parents truly expect her to find her own way of paying for college, your friend will be able to do so, and with better choices than many other students have.</p>
<p>You may be factually correct, but I personally think it's incomprehensible when wealthy parents won't contribute to their kid's education. Complaining is one thing, but not helping out at all when the resources are there is something I just don't get.</p>
<p>BSB: my concern is that, despite your acceptance to an excellent college, and your apparent successful completion of high school, your grammar and spelling are poor, your sentence structure is lacking, and your ability to frame a persuasive argument is weak. You may find college a rude shock; all of those skills will be needed there.</p>
<p>"but I personally think it's incomprehensible when wealthy parents won't contribute to their kid's education"</p>
<p>Then when you have children do what you think is best. My D is at a rich kid school on scholarship and several rich kids are footing the bill (a good sized one at that)and their parents have the means to wipe the debt away. They want their children to earn it, and want it, not just expect it. I can't say that a bad concept. </p>
<p>Even back in the day when dinosuars roamed the earth I attended college with kids on "daddy's nickle". Some of those kids never finished school because since it wasn't their dime, they had nothing invested in completion and besides..daddy owns the company..why do I need to go to school? </p>
<p>Maybe these parents also went to school with kids like that and have decided not to raise the same? </p>
<p>Sometimes what appears to be mean may in fact, be the best thing to ever happen.</p>
<p>I went to school on "daddy's nickel" and not only finished school, but when on to fund my own graduate school education.</p>
<p>Although my parents could pay, and we will pay for our children's educations, we are not "rich" people. We happen to value quality education. There is a difference.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Even back in the day when dinosuars roamed the earth I attended college with kids on "daddy's nickle". Some of those kids never finished school because since it wasn't their dime, they had nothing invested in completion and besides..daddy owns the company..why do I need to go to school? </p>
<p>Maybe these parents also went to school with kids like that and have decided not to raise the same? </p>
<p>Sometimes what appears to be mean may in fact, be the best thing to ever happen.
[/quote]
I will not get close to judging another families choices and decisions. </p>
<p>Most times I see decisions families make that I wouldn't make I understand the rational they used and personally have just decided to go a different decision. ... for example, families that decide we're paying the cost of the local State U and if you (student) want to go to a more expensive school you're on your own for the incremental money ... fair enough ... personally, I will not be doing this with my kids but I understand the rational and believe it provides the kids in question lots of reasonable alternatives to attending college. </p>
<p>I do not get the argument, for families with means, that the kid should pay for ALL of college so the student will feel ownership and accomplishment for paying their own way ... well I get that philosophical point about having skin in the game. However the practical implication for most kids put into that situation is a pretty servere limitation of choices of schools and facing a huge pile of debt when they graduate. When I started college the full cost of a year at Cornell was $6700 ... between a summer job, a 10-hour a week job during school, and a $2500 loan a kid could pay their way through school without going into a massive debt. Trying to pull off $45,000 a year is beyond comprehension ... even the $15-20k/yr for a State school creates a huge financial hole for these kids. I'm at a loss at the conclusion that the best approach to teach independence is to set up a young adult with a huge debt (in cases where the family can avoid this) when they graduate. It seems to me the kids can have a fair amount of skin in the game without having my choice create such restrictions on their options (as colleges will not in any way compensate for this family decision).</p>
<p>As I said earlier to each his/her own ... but this one I truely have a hard time understanding.</p>
<p>I think a fair number of parents who paid part or all of their way through college, who worked their tails of to get to where they are, and who feel that college cost inflation is over the top, will expect their children to fund a part of their own education. I have heard many fiscally conservative parents use the phrase "a hungry dog hunts best". There may be something to that. If the parameters have been spelled out early then the child knows what he/she must do and can adjust. Working hard enough to be able to earn merit money at many good schools can be beneficial. Not all parents see wanting a child to have a great education and forking out the total cost (even if they can afford it) as mutually exclusive.</p>
<p>I don't think I'm judging, I just don't get it. One of my best friends paid for a couple years of college for her straight A niece whose Dad would not give a cent to help her with college even though he had plenty of money. At first he was angry with his sister (my friend) for helping her niece (his daughter). He finally relented and started helping out. He hadn't gone to college and had been successful so he thought college was unnecessary for his daughter too.</p>
<p>oldolddad ... the situation I do not understand is when the parents expect the child to pay ALL of the cost ... personally, I'm all for the student having some pretty serious skin in the game and not an advocate of the parents paying all of the cost (but understand the typical rational of parents who do) ... but I'd also like the student to be able to get into a reasonable game.</p>
<p>"Although my parents could pay, and we will pay for our children's educations, we are not "rich" people. We happen to value quality education. There is a difference"</p>
<p>All, please don't be offended, it wasn't meant that way. But are you certain that a parent that doesn't fund their child's college, doesn't value a quality education? Or is that just how you feel? Could it be possible for a parent to feel differently and still value an education?</p>
<p>"but this one I truely have a hard time understanding"</p>
<p>The one I heard this past weekend was if the student will finish a year early, dad will wipe over $90,000 in debt away with one check and give the student a new house. For now, however, that student must do it on their own. </p>
<p>I guess I can see the point, would I do it that way? No. </p>
<p>But I can see where that dad is coming from. He is treating it the same way his business operates, early and under budget, you get a bonus. It what he knows.</p>