<p>As parents of upcoming MT freshmen, its been a hectic year, not only for our kids, but also their parents (many times during audition trips, I was more stressed than my daughter sound familiar?). In reading our cc threads, Im always impressed by the amount of effort put forward by parents to help our kids get to where they want to go. The attached link is a recent article that addresses the parent role in a students success (or failure) in gaining the acceptance to their most coveted school. There is certainly room for discussion on the authors interpretation.</p>
<p>As many of us have experienced this year, its a long, strenuous MT audition road, but in the end, our kids have found the right program for them and can now focus on their future. Congratulations parents! </p>
<p>And to moms and dads just beginning this journey, enjoy the ride!</p>
<p>"As many of us have experienced this year, its a long, strenuous MT audition road, but in the end, our kids have found the right program for them and can now focus on their future. Congratulations parents!"</p>
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<p>Yes, certainly, but please don't forget there are many people NOT sending in news of their acceptances because there are kids who DIDN'T get into a program this year, kids who are still on waiting lists, kids who are reevaluating whether a BFA program is what they want, kids who are considering auditioning again because in the end they received no BFA acceptances, etc.</p>
<p>Their parents were just as supportive during that long road, and in fact, have to now be extra supportive as these disappointed and talented kids reevaluate their options.</p>
<p>MTNesters, that was an interesting article, thanks for sharing it. </p>
<p>ChrisM points out something REALLY important....and that is that all these kids have had very supportive parents but this extends beyond those who found "success" in their admissions process. If anything, I think the parents such as the ones in the situations that Chris is pointing out, deserve kudos for the support they have had to provide their kids under disappointing circumstances where the process has not yet come to "closure" and they are still on this journey without a "climax" so to speak. Those parents indeed will be the backbone of what comes next as they guide their kids in dealing with options at this juncture. So while MtNesters words are WELL taken, we can't forget that there are several parents amongst us who have a heavier burden of support at the moment when things did not work out as planned. You are right that there is a place for each kid and luckily for many of us, the student found it but I am also patting on the back the parents of the kids who are still finding that "place". It will come but it has not worked out quite as smoothly as some of us had it (even though we al thought it was quite a ride at the time.....but we are in a "settled" place right now when some are not as fortunate!). </p>
<p>Mtnesters, thanks for sharing that article with us. I disagree with some of it as I lived for many years with a tiny segment of society that was highly educated but did not have much money. Those kids despite sharing some of the characteristics of the "have nots" tended to do every bit as well as the "haves". In my opinion having parents who are informed and able to help the kid in his endeavors trumps all except for the kid himself. There is that rare child who does it all himself. </p>
<p>As for the MT audition process, that was one tough and expensive ride. My brother asked me what we would have done, had we not had the money to take that journey. It could have still been done with extensive use of the Unifieds and sticking to colleges within the drivable range, but the way we did it made it a high ticket trip. But that cost palens in light of the time and money we spent over the last 10 years in making it even possible for him to be audition material. That is the true cost in all of this. </p>
<p>Whatever the next step is for our kids, hopefully we can give them our love and encouragement. There are so many roads to the same place that it is definitely not the end of the road, not to get into a program at this time. The wonderful thing about youth is all of the time they have on their side. Bless them all, parents and children who are looking at what the next step will be.</p>
<p>Jamimom writes:
"But that cost palens in light of the time and money we spent over the last 10 years in making it even possible for him to be audition material. That is the true cost in all of this. "</p>
<p>Isn't that the truth? I shutter to think of the thousands of dollars getting my daughter to this point. But, even if nothing comes out of it, I truly believe the training has been worth it. As a junior with a lot of training behind her, I see a big difference from where she was self-confidence wise in junior high.</p>
<p>BTW--since you brought up the subject, what kind of costs are we looking at for auditions for next year? I don't want to do any unifieds because we'd like to visit some campuses. Another question....how many auditions are the average to yield even one acceptance?</p>
<p>No averages, Megsmom. Not enough data. As for costs, if you can combine some trips, you can save money. But, things always seem to happen to quash that too. I still have two tickets that should have been refundable that are really useless to me as they are a segment of a rescheduled trip. If you have to fly in, stay at a hotel, and need ground transportation, that and meals, it can really add up. I don't like to drive in strange cities, so we took shuttles and taxis rather than renting a car. A hotel room generally runs about $100 a night near a college, though I am sure if you go to a more outlying area for a hotel, you can do better. If you do a few early, and get lucky, of the posters here did, you can cancel some of the later auditions and focus just on what you really want. We did all of ours early, really out of necessity because my son's January and February was booked solid. He did not have one free weekend those months, and had he gone on with his plan to audition for some of the acting and voice perfomance programs during that time, we would have had a problem. He was not able to make the one voice audition he did schedule and barely made it to the acting one, putting everyone out and doing a lousy job. To accomodate his auditions in the fall, he did not compete in the all state auditions, took a pass on the school fall play, and did not have any solo pieces in the holiday recital. He cleared his schedule for the fall as much as he could. He also only took 3 academic courses-Calc, English and Art History, which gave him some breathing room. He still did not do well, though I don't blame the auditions It is really a rough situation for kids who are going through this and some do not have schools sympathetic to their plight as my son did. His problem was that his main sport is in the winter, and he really wanted to do well this last year and win the championship, which he did not do. MT is a jealous activity that does not allow a side pursuit.</p>
<p>Interesting article. It says, "Because parents who buy a lot of children's books tend to be smart and well-educated to begin with and they pass on their smarts and work ethic to their kids." What does "pass on" mean? My kids are adopted. Do I pass this stuff on to them through being a family--or do I not pass it on to them because they don't have my genes (I'm assuming that I'm smart, well-educated, and have a good work ethic LOL)? The article does not explain clearly whether these results are caused by environment or heredity, which of course leads to the ongoing debate between the two camps."</p>
<p>Regardless of this debate, I disagree with the article in one respect. I believe that there are services that parents of students applying to colleges for MT can do to help their kids (this is the "doing," not the "being"). My D leaves for school at 6:45 AM and doesn't get home most nights until 10PM or later, what with rehearsals, classes, and performances. She also spends some of that time helping out other kids with various projects, personal problems, etc. She does her homework late at night and on the weekend. I am her researcher, researching colleges and other information and disseminating that info for her. She plans to apply for as many schools as she can this summer and at the beginning of the school year before she gets too busy. But I will also be making the travel plans this year for auditions. She's very grateful because she knows how helpful this is to her. You will note that 6:45 -10 itself would be ample sleeping time, but with homework and eating and getting ready time, she doesn't get enough sleep (probably like a lot of you or your kids), which is something I feel badly about. She has household chores for the family, as well as personal chores and errands, but mostly does these on the weekends (which makes for jam-packed weekends as well). For all these reasons and the fact that she works so hard and does a lot for others even in the midst of this, I WOULD SLEEP FOR HER IF I COULD. Take that, USA Today!</p>
<p>Chrism and Susan bring up a really good point about the role of parents as emotional "supporters." When our kids have their little and big successes, it's gratifying to us--like a reward for all their hard work. When they don't succeed (at least on the surface) at something it can be gut-wrenching. For a lot of us parents, our MT kids are better at handling rejection than we are! And to go through this entire college process without a "reward" is a big job to handle as a parent!! There are too many variables in this process to try to look back and see how things could have been differently. The more I think about it, the more I think that article doesn't have ANYTHING to do with this "insane" process we're all going through, have gone through, or will go through!</p>
<p>I am not sure where USATODAY got some of their info. Educators have been saying for years to read to your child. One of the best things you can do is to read to your child and read yourself and encourage the children to read. That was my one gift to my kids. We have many, many books, many purchased by the boxload from yard sales, auction barn leftover, college, school, library throwaways. I did not pay much for the books I have had over time as we could not afford new books.</p>
<p>What does "pass on" mean? My kids are adopted. Do I pass this stuff on to them through being a family--</p>
<p>My personal take on this is no, parental genes have little to do with it--you "pass it on" through modeling. Modeling means that you "model" behaviors for your kids. If they see you buy books and see them covering the coffee table at home and they see you choose to sit and read them instead of watching TV, that is a powerful message. You are showing you are making a certain kind of choice for yourself with your time, your money, and your livingroom, and that is transmitted in a way that almost nothing else can match. Buying them books and reading to them are good things, but not as effective as your personal behavior. That's also why the article suggests one's education and involvement in PTA meetings are factors, and taking them to the museum is not. It is your actions showing them that education and school is a priority for you. Parents are watched. I think all this registers subconsciously in kids, but it still registers--hmmm...Mom went back to school to finish her degree...percolate, percolate, percolate...</p>
<p>Sorry if this is a bit off topic. How can I find out if Whitman and Santa Clara University track interest.. Our jr s has finally decided these are his two top choices to list for the psat paper work. He will likely be a semif and will definitely need aid for either school. We have been able to pay out of pocket as we go for son number 1, he is in school one more year at UCSC with o debt. But son 2 will likely go to privates with higher $$. I don't want to pick the wrong one, he would be happy at either but Whitman is probably his preferred.</p>
<p>" I am her researcher, researching colleges and other information and disseminating that info for her. She plans to apply for as many schools as she can this summer and at the beginning of the school year before she gets too busy. But I will also be making the travel plans this year for auditions."</p>
<p>My daughter, a junior, is thick in the college list mode. But, like most MT kids, has little time to actually do so much of the work that is necessary to be an informed applicant. So, I have certainly done my time in researching colleges, speaking with admissions representatives, etc. Do I do her homework at night? Of course not. Do I write her rough drafts for college admissions essays? Of course not. But, I do help with the research. </p>
<p>But, I see nothing wrong in helping my child secure a good list of colleges along with their admissions and audition requirements.</p>
<p>Maybe the moral of the story here is that parents can do the most good by not giving up themselves on their dreams, demonstrating how they struggle through difficult decisions, and show how they make trade-offs or sacrifices to get what they want. It helps to set the example for their kids traveling on the college road.</p>
<p>TaraMom wrote:
"It helps to set the example for their kids traveling on the college road."</p>
<p>Or on any road, for that matter. The greatest thing we could do for our children is doing by example. Let them see the good and the bad, especially when they are also able to see how to turn the bad into a "good".</p>
<p>I continue to marvel at the wisdom of many of the parent posters on this forum! No matter how your children have fared in this process, you all are dire supporters and without you, they never would have gotten this far.</p>
<p>There are many "logical" people out in the world who believe that MT and becoming an actor are not a "true" profession. They may be "logical", but I question if they know the true meaning of happiness!! I am sure I can speak for all of the parents on this forum by stating that we, as parents, believe in the right and need for our children to follow their passion. Without dreamers we wouldn't have airplanes, cars, computers, or other things in life. I am proud my children (all three of them) have found their paths in life and I will cheer them on where ever those roads take them...and I mean where ever! Through thick and thin, we brought our children into this world and we will see them through to the very end!!</p>
<p>Absolutely!! I know I've come across on some of these forums as being perhaps too pragmatic in my quest to secure my child's future. However, nothing, and I mean NOTHING is going to stand in her way of pursuing her dreams. I can only do the research and let her know what the odds are of being successful, but if she, like other actors, want to wait tables most of their life to support themselves, but continue working towards a dream (that may or may not come true), then my husband and I will be there to support her. And supporting her means being non-judgemental IF things don't work out.</p>
<p>5Pants, that is so true and not just with theater either, as you have pointed out. I don't think one can just think about college and majors in terms of practicality. I think following one's heart and one's passion can take you far. You can become learned in that field and maybe "make it" and if you don't, you are not a failure. You will have been a dreamer and those dreams might take you later on into a different direction but at least the dreams led the way to those roads. As Shakespeare said....to thy ownself be true. And I say that the logical and practical stuff will follow from there. I am not as eloquent as Shakespeare, however.</p>
<p>To the parents who participate on the forum, if you can support your child's pursuit of his or her dreams, you will have given them a gift you or they will not regret. Life is too short for regrets. You do not know unless you try.</p>
<p>A year or so ago, I read a column (I think on theatermania.com) about performers whose parents and family REFUSE TO COME to their adult kids' performances. It was heart-breaking to me and would be to anyone else on this forum. I just don't get it.</p>