<p>“Yes, it’s fun and wonderful for those who get what they want, but for those who don’t it hurts, and the benefits do not outweigh those disadvantages.”</p>
<p>While it does hurt to be released, the pain doesn’t last a lifetime. By the following semester, the student will have joined new clubs, made new friends, found their niche at the campus. But for those that are in the Greek life, it has the potential to affect their lives for decades. I have reached out to my sisters many times over the years. I have received job interviews, places to stay while traveling, shoulders to cry on during times of sorrow. In other words, my benefits DO outweigh the pain that was felt by someone who was released or chose to drop out. Some of the stories that have been posted on this thread were about truly life changing positive benefits.</p>
<p>Sometimes the pain works the other way, or is self-inflicted – “I’ve determined I’m going to be a Kappa because I heard they are the top house, and so I’ll ignore / blow off the rest of the houses, even though there may be perfectly nice girls there that I’d really like if I just gave them a chance.” A lot of the hurt in rush comes from not giving all the houses a chance. </p>
<p>It’s rather like determining you’re going to be at an Ivy League school, darnit, because they’re the best, and then getting hurt because you staked all your chances on that option versus giving a fair shake to a lot of other perfectly great options.</p>
<p>Soccergirl you are 100% correct…
The Univerisity of Texas has one of the more competitive recruitments in the country and they have guaranteed placement. There are 13 sororities there and they ALL have ALL types of girls in them…all houses have girls that are wealthy, beautiful, over weight, smart, nerdy, awkward…etc…yes, even the so-called lower tiers and upper Big 6 houses…If a girl maximizes her options and attends all of the parites that she is invited back to, she will receive a bid at the end of the process.</p>
<p>Where the problem lies is that certain girls have thier heart set on XYZ house or PDQ house and when they get cut from those houses they drop put without giving the other houses a chance. More and more competitive schools are going to the guaranteed placement model. It can and does work. At some point though we need to place some of the onus on the 18 year old kids that refuse to keep an open mind and in the end everyone feels sorry for Suzy Q because she didn’t get into a house…when in reality it was because she felt that the choices she had left were beneath her and she dropped out. </p>
<p>Every single sororoty has something to offer and if all of those girls that dropped out would have just given DEF sorority a chance, they probably could be happy campers today…it works both ways…
When my daughter went through recruitment last year I stressed to her daily that she must keep an open mind and not listen to the other girls and thier opinions. It is hard to do when you are 18…I’ll admit that…but she did keep an open mind and she is very happy today.</p>
<p>Having said that, I think the concept of “competitive recruitment” is absolutely ridiculous, and there should be no reason that the number of spots per house shouldn’t be linked to taking the # girls going through at the end, and dividing by the number of houses. No one should have to feel not welcome. My first year, our pledge classes were 30; my second year, 35; my third year, 40. It just so happened that the # of girls going through increased during that time. Fine, so make more spots. I think the harsh, competitive recruitments at places like SMU and some of the SEC schools are unnecessarily mean-spirited and I would not want my daughter going through that.</p>
<p>You are correct Pizzagirl, but the reason that the schools in the South are so competitive is because of legacy status. Greeklife and sororities in general have been very popular in the South for a very long time…since the beginning of time almost, and there are certain ones that have a very strong legacy contingent. Those houses most likely would have way more legacies going through recruitment than they can take…many girls have mom, grandmother, aunts in the same house…maybe even what they call a “sitting sister” which is an active biological sister in the house. They would be devistated if XYZ cut them and so would thier mom, grandmother, etc.</p>
<p>If this is the case, it is very hard for XYZ to cut Suzy Q because she is such a strong legacy. These houses also happen to be the houses that everyone eles think they want…and then they get cut because there is simply not enough room for them even though they are the most beautiful, smart, girl on the planet…and guess what happens next?? Polly Pnm drops out without giving the rest of the houses that she has left a chance…and everyone feels sorry for her because she didn’t get a bid…which would not have been the case if she would have kept going. </p>
<p>Quota (the number of new members each house can take) is figured by the number of girls that attend a preference party divided by the number of houses…so if there are 10 sororites and 1000 girls still in the running, then each house could take 100 girls. The number that each house can take is not pre-decided…it is decided once they see how many are still in the game…at least this is how it is at most colleges and is governed by the National Panhellenic Council. Therefore, if everyone maximizes thier options and attends all parties they are invited to, they will get a bid on bid day.</p>
I thought this was interesting wording. I guess none of the sororities was open minded enough to welcome those last 3.7% of undesirable girls.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that at some of the schools everybody who wants one is assured of getting a bid. (That’s true, I understand, with the Princeton eating clubs when you add in those that are not selective.)</p>
<p>Yeah, well, that would be a good enough for me to dissuade my daughter from going to those schools. If sororities are already “closed off”, that’s VERY different from a normal situation in which they are equally open to all comers. The Southern-style Greek culture seems extremely unappealing to me, and I totally get why people object to it.</p>
<p>Hunt - I agree with you. If 2.5% is 118 women, then 3.7% is what, 170? (doing this in my head) I’ll spot the 118 who just didn’t preference as many houses as they could have, but 170 women devastated by receiving no invites? Sorry, that’s WAY too many for my taste, and the system I was in was nothing like that.</p>
<p>We didn’t particularly care if someone’s mother, grandmother or aunts had been in the house, but I will say the worst was an incident where someone had a younger sister going through, and some already in the house wanted to cut the younger sister. That, I thought, was ugly – she was just one girl, if you don’t like her then get over it, this was someone’s real life sister and it’s not like you had to hang around her, with 130 girls you don’t all have to be BFF’s. I will say that was one of the worst / ugliest moments, and there’s little excuse for it.</p>
<p>Our situation maybe, with an older sister who belonged to a sorority would press the younger sister to join. D1 said to D2, “if you were to go to my school, you will need to pledge my sorority. You know it’s the best.”. It’s tough to be a younger sister.</p>
<p>Yes, I can imagine that would be tough for D2 if she were to go there. Other sororities might also assume that she would ju/st go where D1 is as well. At least D1 joined a high-class act :-)</p>
<p>I was struck by this, too. On the other hand, presumably there is a minority of girls who go around to houses on a lark and make it pretty clear that they really aren’t interested, or who are obviously drunk or high, or are just plain obnoxious or extraordinarily weird. Whether that would be likely to add up to 3.7%, I can’t say. (I, personally, have no experience of sorority rush, since my school didn’t have them.)</p>
<p>Consolation, you can also add the girls that made the campus GPA cutoff (sometimes as low as high school GPA of 2.5) that don’t meet the houses GPA, and upperclassmen to those numbers. At a lot of schools, not coming in a a freshman really hurts people. The organization wants 4 years of dues after all. </p>
<p>And I can’t help to say, even the most open-minded sorority is not going to take a risk on a girl that has already earned a reputation before recruitment. Some young ladies do not want to join for sisterhood, just the pretty letters and the access to fraternity boys. In recruitment, actions do have consequences, so if you have 70 pictures of you half naked with a red cup in your hand on your facebook, if every status is about partying and when you let it be known during recruitment that you have hooked up with half the track team, I don’t think it is unfair for a group of women to find you undesireable. I also don’t think a group should have to invite a woman to join their sisterhood just because he mother was an XYZ so she is going through recruitment wearing cutoff shorts, an “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt and stands there picking her nails and chewing gum.</p>
<p>Or they might be fat and unattractive, or have a hick accent. That has consequences, too.</p>
<p>Why does anybody have to pretend that this doesn’t happen? I have no trouble if you want to claim that it didn’t happen at your sororiety, but come on.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that in the context of everything, 3.7% is basically 1 out of 27. That’s approximately the size of a middle-school class. Chances are, there’s probably this person in there that’s a true jerk that nobody likes.</p>
<p>excelblue, you are so right!
As for the image of a fat, ugly girl with a hick accent…nice image. But go past the looks, and realize that what happens at recruitment are conversations…lots and lots of small talk, leading to more personal conversations. That is essentially how a potential new member is evaluated. And THAT is the truth no matter where you are rushing, be it USC to Northwestern.</p>
<p>I have the feeling that MizzBee is speaking from experience. She <em>is</em> currently involved with a national sorority (or sororities), I believe. :)</p>
<p>I have a feeling the MizzBee is blowing smoke up our you-know-whats. In my experience – rather limited, I will admit, and entirely vicarious – the woman she was describing (or more precisely the woman of whom that woman is a caricature) is a sister in good standing in a popular sorority. That woman is not so far removed from my own sister, who was an officer in a large chapter of a respected national sorority at a flagship state university.</p>
<p>I think excelblue may be closer to the truth: The woman being cut is the same as the “jerk” girl who was cut by the mean girls in 7th grade. Of course, they don’t think of themselves as “mean girls”, then or now, and they aren’t really. But they also are, sort of, especially if you happen to stumble into their “jerk” box rather than their “sister” one.</p>
<p>There is another thread where the OP couldn’t help but keep on bringing up this so prestigious school her husband went to and where her D is at now ( starts with H), and there are few people who do not see anything wrong with it. Really? You are so socially unaware that you don’t think its weird? Would you want to live with someone like that day in and day out? We can’t pick our relatives, but there is no reason we need to socialize with people we don’t like. Mind you, I don’t think I would be anyone’s top pick either, but I would hate to have people to have to be nice to me because some sort of “equal opportunity” “diversity” bull.</p>