<p>This is just for fun because I'm going to college and need some brushing up with creative juice. It uses a similar style I used for several of my secondary essays (I think it's too impersonal for a personal essay). PM me if you want to read and critique.</p>
<p>I want to read it. PM me.</p>
<p>I would to send this as a creative piece to several positions I’m applying for during the summer.</p>
<p>I’d love to read it! PM me!!</p>
<p>I’d also like to read. PM me.</p>
<p>can you PM it to me?</p>
<p>bumpity bump.</p>
<p>I’d love to read it. PM it over :)</p>
<p>Ill read it. PM me</p>
<p>Yup PM me. Thanks :)</p>
<p>Here’s the real thing on Teen Ink…please read and rate.
[Fiction:</a> My Half of the Picture](<a href=“http://www.teenink.com/raw/Fiction/article/119357/My-Half-of-the-Picture/]Fiction:”>My Half of the Picture | Teen Ink)</p>
<p>sure PM me</p>
<p>Sounds like a long poem about suicide.</p>
<p>I liked your essay for its synesthetic qualities and its subject matter. You very effectively portrayed the cyclic nature of life, if that was your goal. Was that a beautiful piece of writing? Absolutely. Would that make a good college essay? No. While it certainly does showcase your creativity and literary abilities, it does not talk about <em>you</em> or expand upon you as a person beyond the intellectual realm. Read one of the college essays books to find model college essays- they are not like creative or academic pieces of writing. The are a different animal. You have the potential to write a very good college essay, now put it to use and write a college essay instead of a creative piece.</p>
<p>Thanks for liking it, and yes, I was trying to “paint” religious reincarnation with this piece. As I said, I am an 09’er, so I have written a college essay already. Don’t worry, I used a more personal and clear (still creative and unique) approach to my real college essay.</p>