A problem of my own making

Parent Cafe
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<p>I’m the original OP and thought I’d post an update. The friend landed up with 10 acceptances and one waitlist. One of the schools came back with a financial package that her family says they can afford and she’s thrilled.</p>

<p>Happy ending aside, I stand by what I said earlier that getting involved without having a clearer financial picture was not a good idea. I’m still not convinced she has any sense of the loan burden she’ll be taking on. I’ve spelled it out as clearly as I can but this has to be between her and her parents.</p>

<p>But, the kid is going to college and she’s talking to her parents. I’ll call it a win.</p>

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<p>Good for you, Kelbee! It was a big job to take on, and your friend was happy (thrilled) with the outcome. Thanks for the update. BTW, I’ve been on the helping end of this process too with a non-family member, though not as intensively as you. Take care, Julie</p>

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<p>Absolutely a win, kelbee. You did a wonderful thing for that family!</p>

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<p>Yay, Kelbee! You are a hero in every way, including your ability to self-evaluate!</p>

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<p>I bookmarked this thread to come back about now, hoping for a happy ending. It sounds like it is happy, although with more debt than you’d advise, still. Congrats on getting this kid through this, doing the best that you could. It’s up to her parents, now.</p>

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<p>Great job, kelbee! Since you got to feeling uncomfortable there were some lessons here for you, but as a third party, like most others commenting here I think you did a very kind deed and handled the situation well.</p>

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<p>kelbee, you are wonderful. What a generous, kind person you are. Even if this had not turned out so well, that would not have been your fault in the least. There are very, VERY few people that would go above and beyond like this, even if she’d been your relative. I wouldn’t look at anything in this negatively at all. It is a very rare person who will give so much to another.</p>

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<p>but had it not gone well, or even in the future- if the other family later decides there was too much debt on a school the Op helped with- then the Op might unfairly be perceived as too great an influence in a situation that turned out poorly.
Often, it is in people’s nature to blame others whenever possible.</p>