A question for parents? (From Student)

Parents Forum
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<p>I can’t really add much more to the advice you’ve gotten, except for another story: my daughter is a CPA for one of the Big 4 accounting firms. It is a very demanding but she loves the work (…despite what Vlad says, there are people who do like to work hard) and she loves accounting. (Strange but true.) She had multiple job offers at graduation and now has multiple career paths in front of her. Honestly, as a scientist-turned-technical-writer-turned teacher, I kind of envy her career flexibility, not to mention her paycheck.</p>

<p>I did worry about my D when she was studying for the CPA (…the stress…) but I never worried about job prospects.</p>

<p>Anyway, only you really know where your true interests lie. Sure, it makes sense to at least familiarize yourself with IT (and it may assuage your mother’s demands a bit) and to try other classes once you get to college, but it also makes sense to stick with your gut and your heart. Over time, your mother may come to realize the benefits of accounting/finance jobs. Good luck to you! </p>

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<p>So you want to apply to the Carroll School at BC? <a href=“http://www.bc.edu/content/bc/schools/csom/undergraduate/academics/core.html#Carroll%20School%20Curriculum”>http://www.bc.edu/content/bc/schools/csom/undergraduate/academics/core.html#Carroll%20School%20Curriculum&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I would also suggest Babson for undergrad business.</p>

<p>My only comment might be that you can really major in anything for undergrad and then apply to an MBA program (if you can find a way to pay). Historically an undergrad business degree did not ensure long term, higher level management jobs but that may have changed. For accounting, as others have said, you will need more than the usual 4 year program.</p>

<p>Computer science involves a lot of math. My son majored in it and it is hardly just programming. But it does seem as if your mom is forcing this on you without your showing any interest, and that she is not motivating but the reverse. Autonomy is very important at this age. At this point it may be psychically impossible for you to actually take an interest in CS!</p>

<p>You don’t say what grade you are in (or maybe I missed it). You don’t have to have a major chosen yet for college, but if you do want to do business, I can see that you need to choose schools accordingly.</p>

<p>Many top schools do not offer undergrad business, as you well know, and students who want to go in to finance often study economics. </p>

<p>BC and Georgia Tech both offer business and computer science, in different programs within the schools. I think you are getting great advice above; apply to schools that offer different options, including business and CS but other subjects that might inspire you, and perhaps try out intro accounting and/or CS/programming classes if you have time in high school, to help you clarify your goals.</p>

<p>But it is okay to be unsure of goals at your age, it really is. If your mom wants everything planned out this far in advance, she is affecting more than just your choice of major. I understand her anxiety, believe me. But take care to remain open to opportunities and interests than you may encounter along the way :)</p>

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<p>First, I believe that you should pursue what YOU want. If you pursue what your parent want, while you might be OK in academic sense, you might still struggle later in the field that you do not belong. It has happened to me for exactly the same reason. I have listened to my father and because math was my favorite subject and easy for me, I went for engineering and even worked for 11 years and then just decided enough is enough, I gave it long try and it does not work for me…and I enter the wonderful world of …surprise!!!..CS. It was one of the best decision that I have ever done to make myself happy. that is where I wanted to be in a first place, and boy, I was so right.<br>
"What she doesn’t realize is that computer science is one of the hardest fields out there’ - Nope, it is NOT the hardest, it is one of most fun, that is for sure. However, if your heart is not there, you will not be successful. It requires training your brain in thinking certain way and while math is not required at all, being good at math helps because of the type of thinking that needed to write a software, very logical, step by step, focused. This thinking actually is very helpful in real life, but it is another topic.
I perfectly understand where you are coming from. I had ample of accounting classes and finance classes (I have an MBA). I know that with my mind set, I do not belong in acounting, even more so than in engineering. You got to love numbers with all your heart, not me, I love math that is beyond arithmetic, numbers and being very careful with them is not what I would enjoy.<br>
In regard to the job security, I would say that it needs to be divided into several layers so to speak. The first is a personal layer. If you do not like what you are forced to do, you are not going to be good at it. You need to enjoy, you need to be looking forward to actually being very busy, you want to be challenged. If you feel that you have to drag yourself there every day, then it is NOT going to be a secure job position for you, you will be out, there are many many IT professionals who are fully enjoying what they are doing. Tell that to your parent. No job security for a person who hates what he is doing, no matter what economic conditions are.
On the other hand you really have to assess your own goal and make sure that it is a good match for you. Accounting is NOT a walk in a park at all. I say, that it is much more challenging than CS (at least for me). Finance is definitely more fun, but very high paying jobs are again for the very very top and there are very few and only at certain locations.
Well, to give you another side, I did to my D. what your mother is doing to you, but with the great success and over very long period of time, starting way back in the middle school. My D. has been a great swimmer, winning competitions, swimming over 2 hours every day. And since we took her to many snorkeling trips to Mexico, she was thinking very hard about Marine Bio. I have looked into that and quickly discovered that there are no jobs for Marine Bio. So, very carefully over about 3 years, I have been hinting my D. about Medical School. At first she was hesitant, but then she discovered that Bio is her favorite sciense class and being top caliber student will match very well into medicine.<br>
That is why I said assess everything very careful. However, if CS seems to turn you off, most likely it will not work out for you. As for my D., she is applying to residencies in couple of months, will see how it will go. Academically and personality wise, I was absolutely right, she fits into medicine very well. </p>

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<p>Relax about your proposed major for now. You need to have a list of schools you are interested in attending. Georgia Tech is not the only school to consider but you can apply there as a favor to your mom. Investigate your state public U’s and any other schools that seem in range both academically and financially for you. Even the top HS students will need a backup school to Georgia Tech. You seem to like STEM and business so the schools you choose likely will also have good computer science that will satisfy your mom.</p>

<p>The spring of senior year of HS you- many months from now- you will know which schools are available to you. By then you can learn enough about them to choose one.</p>

<p>Once you enter college it won’t matter what you may have put for your proposed major. Since you like math and will need breadth classes you can easily sign up for math and an intro comp sci class plus any sciences or business intro classes you and your college advisor decide on. Your mother has zero input into this. You go off to college and discover your passion. You choose the classes that interest you and those needed for your intended major and your degree. Your mom has no say so in this. </p>

<p>My son started with an undecided major, favoring math and physics. He chose math, physics and a computer science class to start with. Eventually he decided on math. Some courses overlapped with the computer science department. He added the comp sci major courses to get a double major and works as a software developer/engineer (job title dependent on the company). His programming skills were weak when he started but they hired him for his overall skills and abilities. Companies do hire math majors as well as comp sci majors. </p>

<p>In the Business world you need to like what you major in. You should never choose what seems to be the easiest or most lucrative. </p>

<p>MiamiDAP- becoming a physician is not the most prestigious thing a person can do with an interest in biology and good academic ability. That is the standard many immigrants and moderately educated people think of as a top field. The PhD is more prestigious and requires more scientific creativity. One should only become a physician because one actively likes being one. I hope your D never regrets decades later giving up another interest. It is a shame you did not have a wider knowledge of fields and that you steered your D into the most obvious profession for her interests and abilities. An interest in biology-many different majors lead to medical school and there is a lot more than just that. Since your D is in medical school she obviously has considered other factors that made her choose it.</p>

<p>OP- no need to panic or worry now. Ultimately you will be the one choosing your major. This fall come up with a list of schools that fit your abilities and interests that are also affordable. Apply, get accepted to some. By next spring you will have had enough time to educate your mom about why you should attend your top choice of those you are accepted to. You go to your orientation and choose courses to start with with your advisor’s help. You can then tell your mom the college wants you to take X instead of Y to begin with if she has other ideas. Once in college you will learn a lot more about what interests you and which direction to take. Your mom can’t dictate your courses. You may be able to take some aptitude and interest tests through your college career center to help you and show your mom which fields are likely to be best for you.</p>

<p>Short answer. No need to panic or be frustrated. Work around your mom’s choices to your best benefit. Remember to utilize your HS guidance counselor in supporting your school choices and major choices.</p>

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<p>Just be careful that in some schools, one or more of these majors is oversubscribed and requires a competitive admission process to enter.</p>

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<p>My cousin’s dau is finishing her Ph.D. in Marine Biology. She couldn’t be happier. It is sad when parents pressure their kids to live out their dreams (the parents) rather than allow one’s child to follow their own dreams. </p>

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<p>I think you need to have a hard conversation with your mother. The bottom line is that if you have absolutely no interest in CS then she is sentencing you to a life of professional misery if she is insisting that you major in it. Most people who are miserable in their profession do not do very well in the long term. I think a very fair question to your mother is: how does majoring in something you dislike make any sense? Accounting and finance can be applied to many facets of business and certainly you would have many avenues to explore with that degree. </p>

<p>And I would talk to your dad about it as well. This is important and he should weigh in.</p>

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<p>Gasping here. Please don’t believe this. I’m a senior software engineer (master’s in CS, 30 year career). I love my field, but it’s certainly not “the easy way in life.” Hours are long, competition from offshore is strong, churn and layoffs are frequent.</p>

<p>I’m dismayed for OP. Both CS and accounting are reasonable fields to study in college, with decent job prospects. Why a parent would try to force a child into one over the other I can’t imagine.</p>

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<p>Yesterday, my mother told me about a conversation she had had with an acquaintance of many years. This woman has two Ds who are in their 20s or early 30s. One of them is a professional dancer on Disney cruises, and loves it. (She is small, so her Broadway-type choices would be limited, but at Disney she is perfect for playing certain characters.) The other D is a zoologist, and has worked with whales, elephants, and possibly other species in remote locations. She has apparently appeared in or been involved with several National Geographic specials. It is fascinating, and she loves it. </p>

<p>I can just hear the shrieks and moans from many CC parents when these girls went to college and said they wanted to major in dance and zoology. You’ll never get a job! Major in accounting!</p>

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<p>You need to find out if your mom wants Georgia Tech because it is a cheap in-state option instead of the expensive out-of-state-and-private BC, or if she wants engineering anywhere instead of accounting anywhere.</p>

<p>Geeze. All the kids I know who studied accounting-type subjects (not all were CPA-track students) walked straight out of college and into decent jobs. There is no reason to believe that you wouldn’t too, provided you make the effort to get some work/internship experience along the way while you are in college.</p>

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<p>Computer science is integrated into every field of study, including accounting. I majored in Rhetoric and there were a significant number of double majors with computer science. It was the logic component of rhetoric that appealed to the CS/Rhetoric double majors. Whatever field you pursue, there likely will be a component of comp sci. Maybe if you broach it that way with mom, she’ll be less worried about your actual major.</p>

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<p>My son is a math and Econ double major starting his junior year. He is required to take a discrete math course this year which requires some programming knowledge. You may find that some is required in your major even if it is not CS.</p>

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<p>If push comes to shove and your mother will not finance you, perhaps a major in finance/accounting and a minor in CS would satisfy her. Shame it would come down to this but it might be a route that would let things go forward.</p>

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<p>OP, your post and conmamma’s really saddens me. </p>

<p>You are defending your choice of major and career based on academic terms, not passion. </p>

<p>It sounds like your tiger mom has totally dominated your capacity to “like” anything thereby harming you and rendering you simply an economic engine designed to create money. Your endgame sounds a lot like conmamma’s unfortunate circumstances. </p>

<p>Have you been allowed to have any interests that you actually enjoy? Have you been allowed to explore interests. </p>

<p>In my opinion, you need to plan to break away from mamma as soon as possible. You probably need to play along until you are 18, but not a day longer. You are way behind the curve. Look through the list of clubs at your school and join something your mother wouldn’t approve of. Quit the orchestra. Quit any academic ECs. Quit NHS. Join the frisbee club. Get some exercise. Pick up a cello and play. Ask one of your friends to tutor you in it. </p>

<p>The full ride opportunities that ucbalumnus has posted are potentially your ticket. Eliminate prestige from your vocabulary. You have been programmed to think like your mother. Fortunately, you’ve probably gotten a good education and will have options. </p>

<p>Go ahead and pursue the accounting degree, but make sure that you understand that this is a direction not a commitment. Explore things in life that make you happy. See if you can use the accounting job to buy an education in a new found passion. </p>

<p>Life is long. Your mother will eventually get over it. </p>

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<p>Accounting is something that always needs to be done…it is also a pre-professional type program. Low risk there.</p>

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<p>I am an accountant and it is not a fun job. In general your mom probably knows better what is good for you, since she is your mom and she has life experience that you do not have. I would take a programming class to test it.</p>

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<p>I’m sorry. I know that parents want their children to have financial stability in life, but to insist on a specific major that the student isn’t interested in is just plain wrong. I would no more insist that my child major in a STEM field than I would insist that he/she major in a foreign language, music, or philosophy.</p>

<p>You may be stuck if you require parental money to go to school and if your mother won’t budge. In that situation I would say take one computer science course and give it your best shot. If you hate it, then tell your mother that you never understood it/barely got through it/dreaded every moment of going to class/etc. I can’t imagine that a parent in his/her right mind would not have some compassion for a child in that situation. If you like the course, then take another. I don’t believe that you should force yourself to major in something that you dislike, but this may buy you some time.</p>

<p>Best wishes.</p>

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<p>You might want to go hunting on the UAB (University of Alabama/Birmingham) site. I found a link to a .pdf doc that is only available to members of a professional organization (of which UAB is one.) It had career outlooks for Business, Math & Computer Science degrees. I was shocked to read that the forecast for Finance majors was higher than for CS. The forecast was derived by surveying employers for their recruitment plans.</p>

<p>Also, somewhere on the internet I found this really great quote, which I’ll attempt to paraphrase. It was something along the lines of CS professionals are in high demand, but only if you have the specific skillset du jour. So, getting hired for the first 5 years or so will not be a problem, but you can be a hardworking, intelligent software engineer and still face periods of un- and under-employment. </p>

<p>I’ve been a software engineer for 34 years (OMG!!) and I like it a lot. And while I certainly wouldn’t actively discourage someone from pursuing it, but I would inject some realism if they perceived a CS degree as a guaranteed ticket to permanent employment.</p>

<p>If your mom could be swayed by a logical argument backed up with documentation, you would definitely have fodder for making a case that your desired majors are every bit as practical as a CS degree.</p>

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<p>@HarvestMoon1: Well, I think that you need to actually take a class in a subject before you can make an educated decision about whether you like a subject or not. She evidently thinks CS is superhard and math is easy, which seems laughable to me.</p>

<p>That said, forcing a kid in to a field for which they are not suited or interested is not smart.</p>

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<p>It does not matter at all what the forecast for any job is. You need to enjoy your field. This means choosing a major you like. You won’t enjoy every aspect of it (such as a dislike for physical chemistry for my chemistry major) but you need something you can handle for 20, 30… years. The idea of living your life isn’t to just make a pile of money, you need to enjoy making that pile.</p>