<p>After a bit of a rocky 1-2 week transition, our freshman S seemed to be settling in. He was getting involved in activities, meeting people and was getting settled in with his classes.</p>
<p>However, lately with Midterms he has been very stressed. In high school he was an excellent student and didn't really struggle with his classes or exams (his high school btw is one of the best schools in our state). Today he informed me that he got C's on his recent midterms and feels that he can't get an A in any class no matter how hard he tries.</p>
<p>He is very disappointed and now "regressing" to the same attitude he had during the first two weeks of school with comments of "I hate this place" and "I wish I had gone to State U"</p>
<p>I keep telling him that he is still adjusting to college life and that he is learning what material will be tested, how to study, etc... I also tell him that now that he has some experience he will know what to expect next time and more than likely will do better.</p>
<p>I am starting to worry about him...does anyone have any other suggestions? I am also worried that he will start focusing on transfering to State U rather than putting forth all his efforts to make his current situation work.</p>
<p>One thing that worked for me - when our D (now a sophomore) was distraught over her first college paper receiving the grade of B+, I asked her if she had read the school’s grading policy (she hadn’t). Her school’s policy states that the class average can’t be higher than a B+. I explained to her that she needed to adjust her thinking and no longer expect A’s automatically. Her school is a top LAC and probably most of the students there received A’s on just about everything in hs.</p>
<p>All universities have a tutoring center which not only helps students with specific subjects, but also with time management skills when there are too many papers and exams at once. At the university where I teach, the center is staffed by both peer and faculty tutors. Just today a young man who has fallen behind in his work told me that he met with one of the tutors to work out a schedule to get everything he needs to do done. Your son should know that it is not just struggling students who consult with these centers, so there is really no stigma attached. I have had A students who want extra support go there too.</p>
<p>I will also echo college-query’s point that the average in college is often much lower than it is in many grade inflated high schools.</p>
<p>A C on midterms is not necessarily a bad thing…my sophomore D has struggled with this concept too, having been a straight A kid in HS. I have always asked her what the class average was for whatever exam she’s upset about and it’s usually been at least a letter grade (sometimes 2!) lower. I’d only be concerned if her grade was significantly below the class average. She’s found that, in the end, some profs apply some sort of a curve and those that don’t will often award a few extra points to the students they see are really trying to master the material (by going to office hours, participating in class discussions, showing serious effort on homework, etc.). Btw, she’s at a large public research U…so you might let him know that the grass is not always greener! Just got a B- on her first philosophy paper (which she thought would be an easy class) after having it pre-read during office hours by the prof who pronounced it “very good”…apparently anything over a C is very good for this particular prof but D didn’t know that.</p>
<p>Last year was pretty nervewracking for my girl, to the point where she was having anxiety attacks before finals and couldn’t sleep. She had used the regular “study centers” (ie. chem dept, math lab, etc.) when she was having difficulty with a particular problem, but it wasn’t part of her normal study routine. This year she decided to get tutors for two of her science classes early in the semester, not because she was behind, but just so she would get individual attention and have someone who could check her understanding of concepts and help her figure out what to focus on. So far, it’s been a successful strategy for her - she ended up with two seniors who she really clicked with and has felt much calmer going into exams. I think that having a few upperclassmen to touch base with on a regular basis and boost overall confidence is worth the relatively small cost of tutoring.</p>
<p>I misread your title, now i get it. It’s “A+ student in HS now struggles in college” (and not “a student who should be in HS struggles as a freshman”). Oops.</p>
<p>NewNDad: your worry is shared by many, many parents. HS students were very often used to being in a larger and more (academically) diverse environment. Now that they self-selected their “now home”, they may not be the tippy top students they once were. The population may look more diverse, but academically, the student body may be much more homogeneous. Whoosh! The wind blew out of their sail. But, very likely, they find their groove.</p>
<p>Hopefully he is meeting with his advisor. If not, it’s an excellent thing for freshman fall students to do right after mid-terms. The advisor can put some perspective on where the student is and what is going on and may offer ideas that might fall on deaf ears when coming from a parent. If your son doesn’t know where he falls on the class curve he can certainly ask. Many profs tell the students where the curve is so the kids can figure out where they stand relative to the class. Also the wisdom about the culling from high school to college is so true. College is self segregating in that respect. Your son is now competing on that class curve with others that are similar. Good luck, hopefully he’ll get his feet underneath himself and soldier on.</p>
<p>NewNDdad, what is your son’s major? What types of courses is he taking? I see that he is at Notre Dame. Obviously, he is now one of many high-performing uber-students. Someone has to have the “average” grades. If he is working hard, feels like he is learning, and the grades are not due to partying too much and letting the work slide, he is probably fine.</p>
<p>Both of my Ds were big fish in the small pond of high school academically. They both went to colleges where they were minnows in the big ocean. Once you realize that you aren’t going to be continuing to get all As in college as you did in high school–in fact, you might even get a dreaded C on occasion–you move on, enjoy college and learn something in your classes.</p>
<p>The hard part is that many high achieving high school students’ self-esteem is tied into grades–“I’m intellligent and grades validate that fact.” What to think when grades quit validating? You come to realize that your self-esteem has to be grounded in something other than an external factor.</p>
<p>[And, frankly, there’s nothing to say that getting As at the local state U is a given either…]</p>
<p>Agree with everyone to seek out the campus tutoring center, TAs, etc. Might be helpful if dad can spend a week-end visiting, go out for dinner, and see if the whole package is working–might have other disappointments impacting studying (i.e roommate problems, girl friend, not finding his niche, etc.)-not saying this is the case, but important to see exactly what is going on–time management, too many or not enough activities, friends, wrong course selection, not the right major, etc. Good idea to talk to advisor and see if your child is well matched with courses and major. Might miss his friends at State U.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, even many top public schools do not adequately prepare students for “top” colleges. I know this from personal experience - my own. I suggest seeing professors and seeking avenues for extra help, and if necessary private tutoring. If by any chance it is a lack of excellent writing skills that is a problem for your student, this is definitely something that can improve with work. If it is in the nature of math/science problems that are impossible, there are books of representative physics problems, for example, that can be great resources.</p>
<p>I have no doubt that your student is up to the challenge, but it will require some adjustments. The flagship state in my home state does not give high grades in general, so as said above, this may or may not be the answer.</p>
<p>Best of luck. I know that this is not a good feeling for your family. I wish I had sought out more help as an undergrad myself.</p>
<p>“The hard part is that many high achieving high school students’ self-esteem is tied into grades–“I’m intellligent and grades validate that fact.” What to think when grades quit validating? You come to realize that your self-esteem has to be grounded in something other than an external factor.”</p>
<p>So true for many! </p>
<p>NDDad - assuming your “ND” is “ND” :), I had a friend whose D went through EXACTLY what you described above - same type of student, same type of situation. Student’s mom did EXACTLY what was suggested above - took a weekend and went to the town, got a hotel and spent some hanging out time in the hotel -gave D a physical break from the campus w/out the ease of coming home - and helped to give her permission to not have all A’s, confidence to do her personal best, and just touched base on all the other issues that may not be as major, but played a factor in the rough times her D was going through.</p>
<p>Very common situation. My niece (A student in high school) had a 2.1 GPA after first semester Penn STate engineering. Graduated this May with an excellent GPA. My own son was so disappointed and distressed by his college (an Ivy) that he went AWOL 2nd semester freshman year with plans to live in the Utah wilderness! Graduated cum laude in May and has only positive things to say about his school.
College can be a huge adjustment. You have gotten some good advice here. I hope your son settles down and adjusts. Keep us updated!</p>
<p>I agree this is common and all our kids should get permission to not get all As. But isn’t there a disconnect here? They are told what they need to get into grad programs. That pressure starts right away.</p>
<p>I have a student just starting art foundation at a good school and has been telling me that his grades are horrible so far…How on earth do you get horrible grades in art? He won scores of awards some national and some big scholarships because of his art in HS but what is killing him is the massive volume of work, juggling everything and the deadlines, and taking on completely new skills. He sounds more like he is in boot camp than at art school. He works hellacious hours – all night, all weekend, etc and he still is not doing well. Horrible shock for him but it didn’t really surprise me. I don’t think the major is the issue for a lot of kids…I think some really struggle with the balance, some struggle with the way college classes are taught and graded, some struggle with the new material…if they muscle through they will be fine and even better than the ones who initially coast.</p>
<p>When I went to Duke in the 1980’s, they did an interesting study comparing kids from private prep schools and the kids from public schools. So…initially public school kids had almost 1 point lower GPA as freshman and 1st semester sophomore year…by second semester sophomore year the groups were almost identical and then the public school kids finished almost .5 gpa HIGHER than the private school kids. It seemed t hat that initial trial by fire paid off so that as classes became more specialized as we entered our majors and more difficult the public school kids had learned how to study effectively, overcome hurdles and forge ahead. The private school kids coasted early on their good high school training but had more trouble later in college. I lived the experience coming from a poor public school …I had never written a footnote or a research paper in my life…I had to write a 15 short and long papers for first semester even a paper in my freshman Calculus class and almost DIED…got Cs where I had been a straight A student…I got help from the tutors and writing center and slept with </p>
<p>I wouldn’t agree with that assessment of private school educated college students. I didn’t see much coasting from the peers of my (private education) kids and I didn’t see any fall off in GPA as the years progressed. I think there are similar adjustments.</p>
<p>I think a good portion of the problem facing ‘A’ students when they get to college is that the naturally gifted, who never struggled in K-12, often do not learn how to study.
That first semester provides them and opportunity to develop their strategies. Using the campus resources is one of those strategies.</p>
<p>momofwildchild…it wasn’t an observation, but a statistical analysis of the gpa of students at Duke in the 1980’s. The interpretation of the trends was partly from the authors of the study mixed in with my personal experience. No one said that all private school kids coasted and public school kids struggled as freshman…just enough at Duke to, perhaps, explain the trends in the gpas through freshman to senior year. One has to be careful with stats to not take them personally or extrapolate from a statistically significant difference to mean “all” or “everyone”…</p>