A Transfer Student Dealing With Massive Homesickness

<p>Hello College Confidential Community,</p>

<p>Before I ask my question, I would like you offer you some background on my situation, therefore for the question and responses to be put into perspective. </p>

<p>I'm a twenty year old young male who transferred from a local community college and resided at home to now residing at my University of California Santa Cruz campus in a single dorm. The campus is only about forty-five minutes from my hometown. I've always been independent, in the sense that I worked, cooked, cleaned and assisted my mother with the household duties as well as caring for my younger siblings. My parents have separated for over two years now, and my mother and I have developed a deep, personal connection, one far greater than that of just mother and son. She truly is my best friend, and we tell each other everything. My relationship with my siblings is one far greater than just being siblings, I have taken care of them as if they were my own for about ten years, even prior to my parents separation. </p>

<p>I was given the opportunity to transfer from a humble community college to UCSC as a late winter accepted student, something that rarely occurs, considering the dean of admissions contacted me. I was accepted in late November and transferred and moved here to UCSC in early January. </p>

<p>My Question: It has been three weeks since I have resided here at UCSC, and am still feeling sad and being extremely homesick. On the daily basis, if I even think slightly about home or my family(sister, brother, mother) I immediately have to either compose myself or I begin crying. In the past three weeks I have cried about ten times, even though I see my family every weekend (as I only live forty-five minutes away). Am I just very homesick because this my acceptance here happened so quickly or is it something more? I tend to feel empty inside, as if having no hope, a trait that was very opposite to how I was even a month ago. I feel as if I don't realize how lucky and blessed I am, even though I know I am lucky and blessed. I have made several new friends here, I enjoy my courses because they are challenging, but I always feel as though that gets pushed aside by my homesickness. </p>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to read this long discussion. I really really appreciate it. </p>

<p>Sorry you are having a rough transition. Please realize that homesickness is a temporary state. You are having a change of environment without yet having formed some roots where you are. It is natural. Except your reactions are quite outside the normal range. Go today to the student health center and try to see someone right away, or make an appointment if necessary. You should be able to get some emotional support to help you make this a successful transition. This is a wonderful opportunity for you and you have to try and get some perspective even that college is actually a fleeting time in the scheme of things. It is possible some medication can help you in the short term if you are experiencing some depression. It will definitely get better. </p>

<p>Make sure you force yourself to act ‘as if’ in the short term and do all the things you should be doing. Go to class. Eat regularly, keep regular hours for sleeping. Don’t feel bad to call home every day if it helps. Make sure to get some exercise, physical activity helps fight depression, do a brisk walk at the minimum. And you can go home spring break-- try to visualize all the things that you can tell your family about college life and set an example to inspire the kids. Take pics to share.</p>

<p>Please report back.</p>

<p>Thank you BrownParent, I sincerely appreciate you replying to my post. Since writing this post, I do feel a bit better, however I realize that moments of homesickness come randomly. </p>

<p>I am making sure to exercise regularly, eat healthy nutritious food as well as sleep about eight hours a day. I am going to visit my doctor in a few days and discuss this with her as well, just to make sure its nothing to do with neurotransmitters.</p>

<p>Thank you. </p>

<p>Join a club, and put yourself out there! Take chances, by maybe striking up a conversation with someone in your classes. Suggest getting pizza some night or seeing a movie. And call Residential life and see if there is someone looking for a roommate. Being in a single when you are used to a houseful of people might be making your loneliness worse. Good luck…don’t give up on your dream!</p>