A transfer student in a difficult dilemma

Parent Cafe
1

I currently find myself in a difficult dilemma, and I need help making a decision.

I attended SU my first semester freshman year with the plan of transferring into Newhouse. I made great friends, and Syracuse has been my dream school for years, but because I was an inexperienced drinker, homesick, and afraid of my reckless roommate I decided to transfer after my first semester. Looking back I regret leaving considering I had a 3.8 GPA and the cutoff for Newhouse is a 3.6.

Anyway I ended up transferring to FU’s LC campus and made a great friend, but my GPA plummeted to a 3.2 due to the difficult core curriculum and terrible professors I received as a last minute transfer student. My family agreed LC wasn’t worth the $ considering the campus didn’t provide me with the amenities I needed (the food was horrendous, only great thing was the view from my dorm room). I had minor health problems over the summer but now they’re taken care of thank god so the best bet was to go to the RH campus considering it was traditional like the Syracuse campus which i missed and close to home incase of a health scare. .

My classes at RH have been slightly difficult but overall the professors are much better than at LC and I would have bumped my GPA up to a 3.4 this semester. Also, I’ve officially majored in COMM and I have an internship at a magazine which I’ve been offered to continue into the Spring. Regardless I feel lonely at this campus and out of place considering I don’t fit in with the wealthy, preppy, party type mode I’ve found at RH. My parents believe I should give RH another chance next semester b/c employers will think I run away from my problems if I transfer back to Cuse and its true that I have my internship lined up again for me next semester and I don’t want to give them a bad impression.

I currently just don’t feel like I fit in well with the student body at this school. Also, the friends I’ve made are commuters who never have time to hang out. I’m not trying to generalize the student body don’t get me wrong I’ve met some nice girls! But, it’s also been difficult fitting in here when there’s been so many racial incidents, they make me uncomfortable. I feel like Syracuse had a much more diverse and accepting student population. I’ve also tried getting involved and I’ve published articles for the fashion mag.

I have a phone call set up with a Cuse advisor. If I get into Newhouse should I go back? I’m starting to think that there’s something wrong with my outlook and not necessarily the schools I attend. My BFF at FU wants to graduate within 3 years anyway and I have the potential to do so to b/c I’m way ahead with my credits. I’m a sophomore but I’m considered a junior.

I’ve been in contact with my friends from cuse and they’ve offered to let me visit. Do you think I should visit next semester and if i truly don’t like FU I should transfer to SU in the Fall of my junior year? I know this is a long post so I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it and help me with my transfer issues. Btw If i get into Newhouse I’m looking at the magazine journalism major has anyone done that major at the school. I’d look to hear a Newhouse students opinion on the school, its curriculum and its reputation.

As a parent would you feel the same as mine and advise your child to stick with FU? My parents believe that I’ll be ruining my future career and opportunities if I transfer again, but I just don’t think they understand that a social life is as important as the education I receive because it builds connections. Thank you!

Broke up the Wall of Text for readability
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What is FU? LC? RH?

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@ciervo Fordham university, lincoln center campus and rose hill campus (fordham has 2 separate campuses)

4

I would not use that abbreviation for Fordham.

5

Fordham University. The main campus is RH, Rose Hill in the Bronx. They also have a small satellite campus in Lincoln Center (LC).

You seem to be doing well. Going back to Syracuse, IMHO, would not be the right choice and you would likely not find what you are looking for. Your GPA is decent, you are getting great experience, and you may be able to graduate in 3 years. Work the relationships you can at Fordham and you’ll be fine.

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@FallGirl I apologize, that is a general abbreviation most students use when discussing the university. I was not referring to a deragatory term.

7

You seem to be unsure of what you want to do and are quite willing to spread the blame for your situation to others.

8

I’d say go back to Fordham for the spring. Take advantage of the magazine internship. It will look great on your resume. The proximity to NYC gives you lots of great opportunities for internships. Focus on GPA. Join a new club or two and see if you can meet some new people. If you want to keep your options open, submit a transfer application for Syracuse for the Fall to Newhouse. It’s too late for the spring anyway. Analyze courses / requirements and see where you would be credit-wise. Do you want to study abroad? If so, would going back to SU as a junior allow this? Fordham has great study abroad programs. Fordham can be very rigorous, but you ultimately get a good education and it’s got a good reputation. So does SU Newhouse. I think people sometimes mythologize the whole college experience. It’s not perfect and there will be bumps. The grass isn’t always greener. To be honest, it’s probably a toss-up between Fordham Communications and SU Newhouse in terms of career / job placement. Financially, are they both about the same? Do you plan to go immediately into the workforce or is grad school in your future? Good luck.

9

I actually have the opposite opinion; I think you should transfer away from Fordham, but not back to Syracuse. If you’re considering anywhere else, how far would you be willing to go?

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", but because I was an inexperienced drinker, homesick, and afraid of my reckless roommate …my GPA plummeted to a 3.2 due to the difficult core curriculum and terrible professors I received as a last minute transfer student…the campus didn’t provide me with the amenities I needed (the food was horrendous, only great thing was the view from my dorm room). I had minor health problems …I don’t fit in with the wealthy, preppy, party type mode …it’s also been difficult fitting in here when there’s been so many racial incidents, they make me uncomfortable. "

No where in that entire OP do you take any responsibility at all for anything. You paint yourself as a victim of circumstances time after time after time.

What part did YOU have in this saga? My advice is to look at that-- to see what part your own behavior had in all this. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes.

11

I think the question really is, what will she do the next time she feels homesick, has a difficult roommate or wants to drink more than she should? Has she developed methods of coping with these things as a result of that tough semester? If not, that’s something to work on.

I don’t hear OP saying it’s all someone else’s fault, just that she wasn’t ready to deal with these challenges well. I’ll give the benefit of the doubt, anyway.

12

"I’m starting to think that there’s something wrong with my outlook and not necessarily the schools I attend. "

@bjkmom, I initially had the same reaction as you, but then I saw the above sentence. OP, I think you are right. It’s your outlook. If anything, you might want to take a semester off and get some therapy and examine what’s going on. If you do this, you will probably find ways to bloom when planted at any of these schools. Or stay where you are, do the internship, but also get some counseling. Are there any clubs or organizations where you can find people with similar interests?

Finally, are you still drinking? Some people don’t realize that alcohol is a depressant. Cutting way back might help your mood.

Best wishes to you!

13

Are you saying you’ve been on three different campuses for the last three semesters? Syracuse, fall freshman year; Fordham, LC spring freshman year and now Fordham, RH fall sophomore year. I think you need to try one campus for a full year.

Right now, it looks like whenever things are tough, you run away, thinking the next place will be better. No one place will be perfect. There will be issues. People you don’t particularly like, poor professors, tough schedules, mediocre food. Something will be wrong. The trick is to figure out what is important and what isn’t so important. You also need to figure what is fixable and what is immovable. Your problems at Syracuse likely were fixable but you left. You may need to develop coping mechanisms so obstacles don’t loom so large.

Fordham actually sounds like a good place for you. You have an internship which can be extended for another semester. You are doing fairly well and you have made friends. If you want to work in magazines, New York City is full of opportunities.

Submit an application for next fall at Syracuse but stay for the spring semester at Fordham. Just give the place another semester. From what I can tell, many students need that second semester to find their place and settle in on campus.

14

My opinion…don’t transfer…again.,stay put and get your degree. If I was interviewing someone for a job, and saw three places for undergrad, I would,ask what happened.

Stay put.,get your degree. Maybe go to the counseling center to sort through why you aren’t happy.

15

I think it’s smart to stay at Fordham and graduate a year or semester early. I actually can relate a lot, so I’m sorry that you feel out of place. But like you said, you may just not be happy regardless of where you attend. There must be another issue below the surface.

In my case, I went to UIUC my freshman year (my state flagship). The atmosphere was too focused on Greek life and drinking and champaign just was too isolated for me, so I transferred to UIC (Chicago). I’m now halfway done with junior year and really miss UIUC. I realize it’s the traditional college experience and that living in the city isn’t as great as it once seemed. Plus my best friend is down there and UIC is commuter based, so it can sometimes feel like I’m in high school.

BUT we left those schools for a reason. We were unhappy. Why would we go back? Nostalgia is a liar. It’s like returning to an old gf or bf, the result will just be the same…

16

OP, you asked for advice from parents. As a parent, I would say stay put, take advantage of the internship opportunity, and continue to stay closer to home because of the potential of health related issues, which were significant enough to prompt a transfer only one year ago.

It is also expensive to keep transferring as well as stressful emotionally and socially. In life you make decisions and move forward. Moving ahead, keeping on a path, focusing on your studies, staying healthy, and perhaps seeking counseling are all approaches that will help you most in the long run.

17

Stay at Fordham next semester. Complete your internship.
THEN think it through: do you want to break your current connections and go back to Syracuse, on the off-chance you might get into Newhouse (which, as a transfer, isn’t a “given” at all!)