A very sad update

College Life
1

<p>I made a post a week or two back about having social anxiety and wanting to take a gap semester instead of going to the large state school to which I committed. I wanted to post an update and also ask for advice, because things aren't going too well. I've met a total of five people, and by met I mean a handshake and an introduction. I can't bring myself to leave the door open, and I spend most of my time in my dorm room.</p>

<p>The special honors program I'm in isn't working out--there are about 60 kids in it and I haven't been able to befriend a single one, and we have four fields trips in the next month alone, which I have to attend or my grade goes down the drain. I'm terrified just thinking about them. I'm literally starving because I'm too scared to go to the dining hall, and I'm dehydrated but I'm scared to go to the water fountain and refill my water bottle.</p>

<p>I can't bring myself to contact anyone by phone, email, or the internet. When my high school friends instant message me, they always end up mocking me, even though they don't know about the issues I'm having. It seems they've all adopted new arrogant personas since they became college students. I'm too scared to call the counseling center for help, and I'm too scared to join any ECs. I'm worried my grades will suffer and I'll never be able to transfer out, which was my goal, or that I won't be able to secure the scholarships I'll need to transfer.</p>

<p>I have trouble with the idea of committing to this school--I never bought anything for my dorm room (eventually my parents bought the bare essentials for me even though I didn't want them), I haven't set up my dorm room (a single) now that I'm here, and I can't even bring myself to buy the textbooks I need. I know I ave brought most of this on myself, but I honestly think I'm incapable of changing my social habits on my own, and I can see no other options due to finances or an unwillingness to mess up my future just because I'm having trouble now. I have no one to help (lots of tension between my parents and I, never was open with any of my friends, no friends here).</p>

<p>My problems have spiraled out of control, but I'm afraid that if I don't step up and do the work all my peers are doing, they'll say that it's exactly what they expected and they'll doubt that I have a future (since they did already--I really had trouble socially my senior year of high school, too). In fact, the entire summer they didn't entirely believe that I was going to college, since they know I tend to bail on things at the last second, or lie and say I'm doing something when I'm not. It's only been five days--how am I supposed to last for the next four months? Thanks for any help...</p>

2

<p>It’s definitely time to seek help. The hardest part is getting up the nerve to make the initial appointment with the counseling center. Once you make the call or stop in to make the appointment, it will be the beginning to bringing some peace and calm to your life.</p>

3

<p>Talk to your RA about your problems or ask the RA to take you to the counseling center. Contact your parents and tell them about your problems. You sound like you need a fair amount of support right now if you’re having these problems.</p>

4

<p>Are you looking for encouragement? Nobody can make you do what ONLY YOU can do yourself. Do the easiest, most pain free first: counseling. Nobody will know, nobody will care, and the counselor can definitely help you more than anything we say can help you.</p>

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<p>It’s very positive that you recognize that you need help. You need to call the counseling center right now and either talk to someone or leave a message stating that you are experiencing debilitating social anxiety and urgently need help. I have read some of your past posts and think that the counseling center really can help you, not only to work through your anxiety, but to find people with whom you share common ground and the basis for friendships that can include being “open”. Call now and commit yourself to getting the help you deserve. Hugs to you.</p>

6

<p>go to a counselor man…you can’t get up to get some water at a water fountain? you may need professional help if this keeps going</p>

7

<p>You’ve posted this here - that’s a VERY good first step.</p>

<p>Now copy this post into an email to someone (or several someones) you trust to help you. Do it now!</p>

8

<p>Basically,I don’t have a single friend in my school but I am fine.
How is it a problem…</p>

9

<p>Please go to a counselor first thing tomorrow. {{{hugs}}}</p>

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<p>I had a close family member go through this freshman year, but managed to have a great college experience, including study abroad. Have your RA help you get to the counseling center, if you can’t get there on your own. You can get through this and have a great college experience, too. you just really need to get some help to get on track, though. Don’t give up!</p>

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<p>If you really can’t get yourself to do a face-to-face meet, email a counselor at the school or your R.A. about your problems. But I don’t see any way or facing your fear besides getting out there and doing it, in small steps. I don’t have a ton of friends myself now, but I’m putting myself out there. Try it yourself, at the very least you can be proud of yourself for the effort you put into college.</p>

12

<p>I think you need to e-mail this to your Residential Director immediately. </p>

<p>I hope things work out for you.</p>

13

<p>If I were you, I would tell someone you trust (one of your friends from high school most likely) about your problem. Hopefully they can help you help yourself by helping you make that first appointment with a guidance counselor, making sure you are attending, and providing emotional support.</p>

14

<p>Seek help, sweetie. You don’t deserve to be living like this! Go to the counseling center, or if you can’t, call or email them. You may find that seeing a psychiatrist and getting on some medication could turn your life around. This sounds like much more than just a little social anxiety, and could be a chemical imbalance in your brain. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about that, it’s an illness like any other.</p>

<p>I’m glad you’re starting to reach out by posting this. Keep it up!</p>

15

<p>I would probably goto counselor straight because I don’t think RA’s will be THAT big of a help (they’ll probably just lead you to the counselor).</p>

<p>You must be terrified if you can’t even goto the water fountain! Can you goto the bathroom and stuff though? I can’t imagine what you must be going through… hope you get through this!</p>

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<p>I hope you can bring yourself to walk over to the counseling center this morning. Go to the desk and say, “I need help”. You can also print out this CC Thread and hand it to them if you feel that it’s too hard to explain your situation to the person at the desk. </p>

<p>You will not believe how much better your life will be once you begin talking to a professional. If medication is suggested, please take it. Taking the medication does not mean that you are a weak person. The medication will balance out the imbalance of chemicals in your brain. It’ll take about 6 weeks for the full effect to kick in but you should notice a gradual improvement within a couple of weeks. Right now, you may not believe us but by speaking with a nonjudgmental professional who has experience treating people with social anxieties and following his/her course of treatment which may or may not include medication your life will change for the better. Good luck and please go to the counseling center today. It’s time for you to start enjoying life.</p>

17

<p>Upennite - Have you contacted a counselor? Update, please…</p>

18

<p>You mentioned in a previous thread that you are transgender. I would also suggest you check with your GLBT representative at your school and see what their office can offer you.</p>

<p>Please seek help ASAP; you will feel better just being able to speak to someone will to help.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!</p>

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<p>GO DIRECTLY TO THE COUNSELING CENTER RIGHT NOW! All of us posting here at CC are worried about you and keep you in our prayers, but we can’'t give you the professional help you clearly need. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to take that first step, so your problems will only get worse. </p>

<p>Please, please seek help. And keep us posted on your progress, as we are all rooting for you.</p>

20

<p>CALL YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER!!</p>

<p>This sounds like a dangerous situation, do not delay.</p>

<p>There must be some one you trust in this world , call that person right now.</p>