<p>Alright, I know you guys are probably sick of hearing stories like these but...</p>
<p>I'm halfway through my second semester of college and I'm hating every day of it. I think I'm getting a little depressed, even though I take anti-depressants. The first semester I got pretty depressed for a while (stopped going to some classes, doing bad on work) and ended up increasing my anti-depressant meds and going to counseling and pulled out A's and B's in all my classes. I started out this semester saying it will not happen to me again, I'm not gunna start out doing bad so I won't have to bust my ass to get a decent grade. My first 5 tests I got 90+ and 6th was an 89. So I had basically all A's, but now I feel like I'm burning out again. Just got a 76 on a test that I didn't study for (procrastinating and just generally never doing anything...) when the first test for that class I got a 96 (studying 3 nights before test). I'm scared I'm going to start doing bad again and screw myself up.... </p>
<p>Only friend I have is some weird kid who also has no friends, so that doesn't really help me out much. First semester I made like 2 other friends and we went out occasionally, and I went to the gym 4 days a week, but now I don't talk to those people and don't go to the gym. I feel like I'm stuck in prison and I hate each and every day of it. Me and my roommate don't relate, we don't hate each other just don't really talk. I hate the room I'm in, the furniture, the building, etc. I also don't like the cafeteria food, but they make buying the lunch plan a requirement, so that's like $1800 wasted cause I haven't gone even one single time this semester. I basically just get pizza delivered or go to a fast food drive-thru for all my meals besides a bowl of cereal in the morning... I generally just want to sleep all day and just want to go home... My college is like 180 miles from home and nobody from my high-school went to it so there were no "carry-over" friends and I can only go home like once or twice a month if I'm lucky. Being with a roommate I feel like I can never really relax, since he's in and out all the time, staying out late, etc. and back at home I liked having some time alone, and it was like once I got through the day of HS then I was "done" and could go home and chill, but here it's like I can never actually relax and am 24/7 uncomfortable. Plus the fact there's no freezer to keep decent food in, or oven to use even if I had a freezer, etc. just make it seem like I'm stuck out camping every day. Reeeaallly miserable and absolutely mind-numbing....</p>
<p>Sooo.... after that wall of text... any suggestions? :S</p>
<p>Are you banned from getting a micro/fridge? It seems like you’re irritated by the lack of food. Is there a quiet place outside the dorms where you can relax? Alone, if necessary? Are you on meds because you have a previous diagnosis of depression, or just to? What are the side effects? Do you like your classes/subject material?</p>
<p>Also some ways that some people deal with homesickness is making your new place feel like home and making new friends by a shared interest like a club and also keeping in touch with home or high school friends.</p>
<p>Nah, we have a fridge in here but it has no freezer. They have a strict limit on the size fridge you can have and none of the sizes they allow have a freezer big enough to put anything in besides an ice tray. Yes, I’ve had a little trouble with depression before, but nothing close to this bad… No side effects from it really (welbutrin) except decreased appetite. As for my classes, most of them really aren’t bad, I took mainly freebie classes this semester because I wanted to make sure I had good grades for my first year, was shooting for straight A’s this semester. Taking no core or required classes, just electives like Psych, Poli Sci, Criminal Justice, Computer Apps, etc. But overall I haven’t enjoyed school since like 4th grade so no I wouldn’t say I LOVE any of my classes or are particularly interested or anything, just don’t hate them.</p>
<p>Edit: When I said I stopped doing stuff from last semester like going to the gym, having even more than 1 friend, quit eating occasionally in the cafeteria, I also quit going to the counselor cause I felt it was a waste of my time. I don’t really share my emotions well and I can’t seem to really let my “guard” down for many people except my immediate family, have tried two other therapists or w/e in the past and didn’t like them either and part of the key to therapy working is you have to buy into it and believe it’ll work and I don’t.</p>
<p>Hi revolve8
I can definitely tell you that you are not the only one to be going through this. When you think about how much your life has changed in the last year it is no wonder! Not only have you left home for the 1st time, you are on your own, don’t know anyone, are in a new environment a long way from home, and expected to be totally responsible for yourself for probably the 1st time in your life. On top of that, you are supposed to know right now what you want to do for the rest of your life! It sounds like you are really depressed. Have you tried joining any activities: sports, snowboarding club, music groups, etc. Also what about a part time job on campus to make a little extra and meet some people. The problem with your situation, is that the more you isolate yourself from everyone, the more depressed you will get. </p>
<p>I would say most people adapt after a while but that 1st year can be really depressing! But there are a LOT of people who are just not ready for all of that and might do better at a CC. After all, you are only 18- despite that you are now legally an adult, that is SO young! YOu need to sit down and make a list of pros and cons about your situation and be brutally honest. Remember that you should not be doing this to please anyone else (parents) but do what is right for you. CC’s used to have a stigma that only the losers stayed at them- that has changed totally, partially due to the high cost of education. CC’s are a perfectly legitimate way to start your education and also keep the cost down considerably. For someone like you who is not happy at a university, is it really worth making yourself miserable. You should be enjoying college life not being depressed. REally sit down and take a good look at yourself and think about why you are going to school there and if you are getting what you expected out of it. Try talking to your parents and see if they have any suggestions. Above all, do NOT feel like you failed by not liking it there. Different things work for different people and you have to do what is best for you! Good luck!</p>
<p>revolve8 – I’m very concerned and I’m a parent, if that makes any difference. You need some help, more than anyone can give you on this forum. Please get it, you can start with the services they provide you at the college. If that doesn’t work please tell your parents what is going on and then they can help. I don’t know what is wrong or what should be done about it but college shouldn’t be like this.</p>
<p>Never attend an institution with the lack of your social life. That’s why most colleges recommend a campus visit for students who are interested before going to them.</p>
<p>This sounds just awful. As other posters may have mention, its your first year so do expect some depression, though it definately seems like your social life is the cause of all of this. You may need to join a handful of clubs, make new friends, get to know your environment more, talk to those at home etc… be a lot more active.
In all, it’s not like you will be stuck at the school for your entire life, four years and maybe a job or graduate school ( which ever you decide). I say see how you do sophmore year, if your just miserable try transferring out.</p>
<p>Campus visits aren’t very great. You might get a general idea of what the campus is like, but the tour guides are salespeople. They’ll tell you the good things, but they’ll try and not talk about the bad.</p>
<p>"Campus visits aren’t very great. You might get a general idea of what the campus is like, but the tour guides are salespeople. They’ll tell you the good things, but they’ll try and not talk about the bad. "</p>
<p>Eh, I forgot to point out the existence of freshmen orientation. That’s when you should really try to talk to people. Or during the campus visits, you might as well ask the tour guides to escort you to the student body and then have a chance to talk to anybody to see if they’re interested in hanging out with you.</p>
<p>Pea: I’ve told my parents but their responses are only things like “you gotta do it”, “it’s only 4 years”, “pretend it’s a job”, etc. so that doesn’t help much.</p>
<p>Recharge & HopefulEagle86: I’d rather not say which college I attend. However, I feel like I need to be here even though it’s not pleasant, simply because I worked very hard my senior year in high school to get into a decent college (I applied to 19 colleges! Took a LOT of time and effort…) </p>
<p>Coolbrezze: Yeah, my mom always just says “it’s only 4 years just do good so you’ll be happy later” and while that might’ve helped for a few weeks, after a while it’s hard to keep running off of just that.</p>
<p>collegeboss: Uhmm, a lot? I’m not about to commit suicide or anything, I would flat out drop out and go home before I got to that point, I’m just looking for some help.</p>
<p>Another wrench thrown into my perfect storm of **** that I guess I should tell you guys is that my roommate is gay. Like… really gay. I have nothing against gay people but he is basically a girl in a guys skin, only hangs out with girls, is a cheerleader, obnoxious, died blonde hair, listens to girly music, openly gay, talks with a lisp, etc. While I don’t have anything against him as a person, he is NOT the type of person I would ever voluntarily spend time with or hang out with. Combine that with the fact that we have absolutely zero common interests makes for a kinda awkward/not very fun time even when I’m in my room. Luckily he doesn’t spend much time in here during the day, really only sleeps in here aside from popping in and out, but the small amount of time he is here isn’t fun.</p>
<p>Will power. Will power goes a long way. You know the things you don’t have, and what you currently don’t like in the situation you’re in. Think of ways to better your situation. It may be hard to do things like join clubs because you just don’t feel like being bothered but sometimes pushing yourself is what you needed in the first place. </p>
<p>Keep the faith. Things will get better, but it starts with you looking at things things around you and re-evaluating yourself and those around you. I wish you luck, try to read inspirational books/quotes.</p>
<p>After sleeping on it your situation doesn’t sound as bad as I first thought. The other posters are right, the first year of college can be a tough transition and things will get better. It’s too bad about your roommate, there is nothing you can do about that this year I suppose.</p>
<p>I think you need to try to find some friends. You sound like a perfectly nice person so they are out there, you just haven’t found them yet. If there is a social room in your dorm hang out in it. Join some clubs. Think of something that you enjoy doing and then spend time doing it. It sounds like the academic part of college is going well for you so good, that’s a big part of college.</p>
<p>Pea: That’s part of the problem is the academic part isn’t going so good anymore. Just couldn’t bring myself to study for a test I had last week at all and got a 76 on it, have been skipping Phys. Ed. class for the last few times, not doing my assignments, etc. I knew it would probably suck coming to college, but it’s just so strange when I talk to people and they talk about how they couldn’t imagine living at home now, don’t want to go home for winter break, etc. and I just think about how I would do anything to be able to go back home. It really is starting to get to me, it’s literally mind-numbing being stuck here! I feel like Jack Nicholson in The Shining haha…</p>
<p>(to give a little backstory i guess)
edit: To add, the food situation is also wearing on me badly. I literally only eat pizza and fast-food for every meal while once every couple of months going to Chili’s to eat ribs or something. I also lost my ****ing bike, I locked it up somewhere a couple weeks ago and now I can’t remember where at all, and while it may just seem like I’m complaining and whining, I’m just trying to illustrate how much I abhor every aspect of college. I’m 100%, without a doubt, over the entire idea of college, I want nothing to do with it and just want to leave, but I know it’s something that is practically mandatory to make money later in life. To add to my stresses, my brother attended Yale and is now making like roughly $500,000 a year and he just keeps pushing me to keep going, etc. and my college isn’t even as good as Yale yet I feel like I’m falling apart. I could have gone to such a college if I didn’t practically shut down my freshman year of high-school. I was in all advanced classes in elementary school, doing much better than my brother did at such a stage, but I slowly stopped caring about school and by the end of my freshman year of high-school and had a 1.8 GPA. I remember one report card that year was 4 F’s and a D. I luckily sort of recovered and pulled out of high-school with a 3.2 GPA and taking honors courses, founding clubs, etc. I’m really scared that I’m going to just burn out again though and start failing my classes.</p>
<p>You need to actually manage your time when you’ve completed your classes. Get back into the dorm and study harder. Majority of those who don’t take the responsiblity seriously find their way to adjust the experience in college.</p>
<p>For the social life, try to join clubs. Have you tried helping anybody out?</p>
<p>You need to withdraw from college. You definitely sound like you have depressive symptoms and the whole situation you’re in now is just compounding everything. Take this semester off (withdraw, take medical leave - talk to your advisor). Your parents and brother understandably want you to stay and breeze through college, but you’re gonna crash and burn at this rate.</p>
<p>I agree with icanread. You need more help than anyone can give you here. Colleges have support services for their students, that is a place to start.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Go to the gym.</p></li>
<li><p>Talk to people–worst case scenario they don’t talk to you anymore, which is already the case.</p></li>
<li><p>Get off the meds.</p></li>
<li><p>Leave CC. It is pathetic that you are here and not in high school.</p></li>
</ol>