<p>Hello all, I am a 19 year old current community college student in the state of Texas hoping to transfer to a university. When I was 13 my mother sent me off to live with my father who abused me up until recently (this past December) he got very angry and threw me out of the house. I am currently living with my boyfriend and his family, and am sending in documentation for a dependency override. If anyone knows anything about this would they be able to review my documentation and offer me any tips if I require more info. I do not have any parental information whatsoever as it is unsafe to go back home and I have not spoken with my mother since she sent me to live with my father. I have no idea where she is at.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I never sought out any help until after the abuse so I don't have any direct legal documents or letters for high school counselors about the situation. However I do have,</p>
<p>Letter from my psychiatrist who I started seeing after I got kicked out. He knows about the situation and has determined it is detrimental to my mental health to have contact with my father.</p>
<p>Letter from my boyfriend's parents who knew me for a few years and who went with me a day after I was kicked out to retrieve my belongings (my father and step mother surprisingly let me retrieve them but did not speak a word to me the entire time)</p>
<p>Letter from my father's ex-friend who knows of my father's drug and alcohol abuse history and his violent nature</p>
<p>Personal letter </p>
<p>Father's arrest records concerning possession of drugs and DUI's/DWI's. He hasn't been arrested since 2009 and the ones involving drug use date back to the late 90's so I hope they are not outdated. There is one arrest record involving a sexual harassment to a minor case he had but it was in the state of Arizona so I don't know if that would qualify.</p>
<p>I also filed for taxes independently this year since I was kicked out and I also have my W-2. When I was living at home my parents made me file independently for the first time in 2012 even though I was living with them. I believe I can retrieve my tax info for that year but I don't believe I still have my W-2 for that year.</p>
<p>Please, if anyone has any advice or tips to help me out I would greatly appreciate this. I am freaking out because if I don't' get this I have no way of paying for school. Thanks so much for all your help and for reading this long message.</p>
<p>First…I’m sorry for your situation.</p>
<p>Your tax filing status has nothing to do with your status for financial aid purposes. In other words, filing your own tax returns will not gain you financial aid independence.</p>
<p>I think the letter needs to come from someone who is not a family friend, or relative. Perhaps a minister or priest, or counselor. You will need to provide evidence of this abuse…documentation that it happened. The letter from the psychiatrist should be helpful. The others you mention…no.</p>
<p>I don’t know how being over 18 affects this…it might…or it might not. </p>
<p>In the meantime, I would suggest you find some form of counseling to help you. That is a long time for unreported abuse, and you should seek professional help. Are you still seeing that psychiatrist? </p>
<p>Remember, requests for a dependency override are dealt with on a case by case basis. Even WITH a dependency override, the only guaranteed aid would be any portion of the Pell Grant for which you are eligible (up to $5600), and a Direct Loan of $6500 if you are a sophomore.</p>
<p>I have done dependency overrides with the type of documentation this student can provide. The important thing is that each person who writes a letter must go into detail as much as possible. They need to include actual examples of things that happened. What won’t work is letters that say it was a bad situation, the student deserves a chance, that sort of thing. It has to be very, very detailed - to the point where it is painful. The documentation will not be made public. </p>
<p>I’m sorry about your situation. Do work with the fin aid counselor at the schools to find out exactly what each school needs to process your request. Hope it works out.</p>
<p>Is your mom still alive? If so, you may be required to use her info.</p>
<p>This student hasn’t seen nor heard from the mom in over six years. The student needs documentation of that also when asking for the dependency override in addition to the situation with the dad.</p>
<p>Good luck! I do hope that it works out for you.</p>
<p>This really sucks. The problem is that if it worked, you would find a lot more kids who claimed abuse. (really irks me)</p>
<p>What you likely need to do is actually prosecute. If it is actual abuse, there is a crime. The fact that your dad got a DUI or even drug charges does not automatically make him a bad person. We don’t need to know the details of the abuse, but without charges and perhaps even a conviction you have a situation where it is just your story.</p>
<p>Just to be clear, I am in no way assuming anything about your story here. I am just trying to point out why this type of situation is twice horrible. If it really happened, that is bad enough, but there are enough people who will lie and cheat to get ahead that colleges and scholarship foundations have to be very careful and will likely need proof.</p>
<p>Best of luck. I hope you find the peace you need to move on with your life.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much and yes I am still seeing the psychiatrist I am looking for a current therapist since my father cut me off health insurance as well I am trying to find something cheap I can pay for. I’m sure my mom is still ALIVE yes, but I don’t know her phone number or where she lives or anyone who could find her. (I have my grandparents but she cut off all contact with them, they dont know where she is either) There is one thing, I did go to a psychiatric hospital after I left home because I was so out of it, I wouldn’t speak, wouldn’t get out of bed so my boyfriend’s family made me get up and go there because they thought I would do something drastic. I could probably get proof of a hospital visit but I’m not sure about that since psychiatric hospitals may have a stigma attached.to them.</p>
<p>@Ciara444, read what Kelsmom said. She works in a financial aid office at a university. The only way you will be able to get aid as an independent student is to be willing to share all the unpleasant details of your situation, and trust that the financial aid office will keep it confidential (which they will).</p>
<p>Ok thanks I suppose I am just kind of freaking out about my situation. </p>
<p>Ciara444 -</p>
<p>If anyone has a right to freak out about their situation, it is you. So don’t feel bad about being freaked out! </p>
<p>Do follow Kelsmom’s advice. She truly is an expert. Go see the financial aid office, and get their help with all of this.</p>
<p>Wishing you nothing but the best!</p>
<p>Ciara444, it would be a good idea to try to establish a connection with an aid officer at the school where you want to transfer. You will need support as you navigate the dependency override process, and you will need advice regarding possible aid. It is important that you find out how much aid you will be able to get well in advance, so you can decide if you will be able to make things work. This will mean getting the dependency override processed early enough so you will have the information in a timely manner. I do caution that it may still be difficult to afford school even with the dependency override — but I truly hope this works out for you!</p>
<p>Students whose parents are abusive should not be expected to go to an abusive parent to get the FAFSA filled out. They should also not be expected to track down a neglectful parent who dumped them with an abusive parent and disappeared. Dependency overrides make sense in such situations. </p>
<p>I was able to get the dependency override! Thanks so much for the advice everyone :)</p>
<p>@Ciara444: Thank you for the update - best of luck to you in college and in life!</p>
<p>Thanks for letting us know, @Ciara444 – wishing all the best for you and your future.</p>
<p>I’m so glad to hear it, Ciara! Did they tell you that you will need to request the override each year? Each school has its own policy about how this is handled. My experience is that we requested letters from each person who had submitted the year before, stating that the situation has not changed.</p>
<p>Ciara, you are a strong girl, and judging from your courage and intelligence to reach out, to do all the follow-through thoughtfully and carefully, you are sure to have a solid future. Be sure to stick with the psychiatrist, find groups on campus to communicate with, and–though it might sound weird–(I do not go to church myself) look around for a clergyperson to make friends with and confide in. I did this twenty years ago when I was going through a difficult person, and clergypeople of all kinds (I talked to a R Catholic priest because that’s where I was coming from as a child) can be very compassionate and creative in the ways they help and guide. If you ever want to talk to a penpal, send me a PM (I am the mother of three…young at heart…but I’ve learned a few things and used to teach and listen to college students.)</p>
<p>I don’t know about the process for next year, but I will email my counselor. I figured I would have to repeat it for next year.</p>
<p>Ciara, definitely keep in touch with updates to CC on your situation and don’t hesitate to take up any offers of help if you need it. There are some great people on here and other students have really benefited from the ongoing guidance of individuals and groups of people.</p>
<p>Also, my advice would be that if you have a good therapist (can be any type - psychiatrist, psychologist, licensed counselor, etc.) stay with it even if you don’t think you really need it. Situations can come up very suddenly where all of a sudden, things that were going great suddenly aren’t. (Not that these situations necessarily WILL come up, but they MIGHT).</p>
<p>I also had an abusive father and a mom who didn’t kick me out, but wasn’t much help and was emotionally abusive herself. I didn’t get help will I was many years older and my paranoia about relationships ruined a number of relationships and still affects me today, even though I’m married. You’re doing the right thing and show maturity and an understanding of your situation beyond your years.</p>
<p>Thinking of you and wishing you only good things to come.</p>