Do you have a question bout this letter?
I’ll give some feedback.
I don’t see anything in it that shows that you have already taken action to improve your grades.
Your middle paragraph needs a significant edit. It is full of “stuff” that just isn’t going to matter. It’s just stream Of concsciouness blather.
Stick to the facts. Tell them what you currently are doing to improve your grades, what you will continue to do, and anything else that will show that you actually have. PLAN for becoming a better student.