<p>Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you</p>
<pre><code>The more I saw Troy, the more I wanted to breakdown and cry. It became demanding on my spirit because every new encounter inevitably lead to more sorrow and grief. I felt bad for his parents, his little sister Jennifer, but I found it particularly difficult holding back most of my tears whenever I saw his identical twin brother, Jonathan.
Troy told me he had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Ewings Sarcoma when I was finishing up my sophomore year in October 2002. I was in a state of utter disbelief as he looked at me with a candid expression; my legs and arms became numb and I couldnt conjure up a single facial expression, just a blank stare. The first thing that came to mind was, How could this happen, hes only seventeen?
The financial burden Troys family was about to undertake was sure to be extravagant. Call me impulsive, but I soon became involved in every single fund that the community had to offer for him and encouraged others to participate, I simply became possessed. The depression from within dwindled from my system and it was replaced by an immense feeling of obligation and motivation. Never before had I been so determined in my efforts to support a cause. I discovered that I had the passion, fervor and intensity which I so much admired others for possessing. Perhaps the greatest gift he gave me was the lifelong relationship I will have with the American Cancer Society.
It may sound cliché, but Troys struggle to survive put life in perspective for me. Who cares if you did bad on a test, if you struggled at a sport or if you didnt have a lot of money, its all meaningless unless you have the gift of life. Perspective allows you to sort out the basic problems of life in a more meaningful and comprehensive way.
During my last visit before Troys death, he was very content with his situation and even cracked a few jokes. Here he was, near death and as a happy as anything. I cried uncontrollably as I looked at him, and he reassured me that he just wanted everybody to live happy lives and not harp over his death. My greatest inspiration derives from seeing him in his fragile state, consoling those around him as if they had been the ones to be struck with fatality.
Three weeks after I last spoke to Troy, his eighteen month battle ended in defeat. All I could remember were his last words to me and Ill forever have them imprinted into my mind, Just live happy lives. Its actually pretty sad when a persons greatest impact on you comes upon the face of death…
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<p>but dont they have a question thats somewhat like that, when you faced an ethical dilemma and why, in hindsight, it was the right decision or something like that.</p>
<p>no. no they dont. i encourage you to open up their application booklet, or go online and download it, and note the three topics. none of which are an ethical dilemma. A RISK MAYBE??? yup thats prolly the one u want. make yours into a risk.</p>
<p>erm...... it's too bad about the question confusion, but I will say that it's a very nicely written essay. Maybe a bit too ..... erm...... emotion, if you know what I mean. Try more to illuminate yourself and your qualities instead of making yourself a part of the backdrop. yar. something like that.</p>
<p>i would work on the introduction....like make it more compelling...here is how mine started out: ( i really dont think this will help you but my essay just happened to be absolutely AWESOME so i think i will just brag)</p>
<p>Shrieking children surged through the classroom, wrappers flitted through the air, and a fine spritz of gold glitter glazed over the tile floor. Unable to compose myself amidst the lollipop revolt and crayola craze, I was ambuscaded by a swarm of feverish children chanting my name and vying for attention. Misshapen animals and caricatures of family members adorned the glistening white boards. The Homework Club had gone terribly wrong. Trammeled by the sugar high insurgents as they continued their frenetic game of tag, my thoughts were exorcised by bewilderment as my body instinctively froze in panic. The young vandals reveled in the pandemonium. Where was the teacher? Sunlight spilled onto the empty candy jar on the absent instructors desk. I was transfixed by the schedule hanging in a distant corner. My conjectures were confirmed: the program had been canceled for the afternoon. I was the teacher!</p>
<p>ahhh yes and then it gets better. i bring in my impoverished childhood. and how much i help these ESL children. so if any RDers wish to see a sample essay that is mad good, let me know...</p>
<p>hmm...i basically skimmed that whole thing in 5 secs and didnt get anything out of it except a couple of big words...but i guess u got in...so its AWESOME</p>
<p>hey joke...its pretty good...u could make it more compelling...the topic that would probably best serve u is pg 217 of ur 300 pg autobiography...thats basically an open invitation to write about anything you want...and what u have could definitely be a chapter from ur life...</p>
<p>You seem to have gotten a few things understood already about college:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You can use big words excessively and make it seem like you understand at least almost half of them.</p></li>
<li><p>You can write an entire paragraph without actually saying anything.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Two skills much needed at an Ivy League school. If you can stretch that paragraph to a page or even an entire essay, you will fare fine.</p>
<p>hahah... just because i have an impressive vocabulary doesnt mean i misuse the words...i do know what all of them mean, and i'm very comfortable with using all of them. the first paragraph says a lot, i just wanted a descriptive introduction- out of context you can't see the significance of anything. the rest of the essay (which is about a page and a half) develops the theme....one of my friends (junior at penn) actually sat down with me at houston hall the weekend before the deadline, told me the essay i had at the time totally sucked, and helped me entirely restructure it. and you know what? I GOT IN! with the most insane vocab i have ever ever seen in a college essay. and my 4.0 at penn says i will continue to do fne. thanks snip.</p>
<p>we ALL can write like that if we choose to. i think everyone here knows the meaning of all of those words, and I, for one, am not impressed in the least. but hey...whatever floats your boat.</p>
<p>Using big words does not equal writing like that. "Trammeled by the sugar high insurgents " sugar high insurgents! that's an awesome image and it tells an awesome story.</p>
<p>yeah... my boat is def floating because I GOT INTO PENN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>hahah.... i think there will be about a 6 week honeymoon period until my excitement dies down and i realize that, after all, its still class.
STONED---- stop with that bob thing!!! omggg i refuse to be developing this reputation before anyone here has even met me.</p>
<p>Shorty, no offense but that intro isnt something to brag about. Plus it took up about half your one page essay, without saying much. But good job on getting into Penn . . .</p>